


there's no love for you like mine

by moonsuhs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Lots of subplots, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Roommates, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, i cannot stress the slow burn enough, johnjae are best friends, like it's 3rd degree burn slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 51,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsuhs/pseuds/moonsuhs
Summary: Johnny thought living with Taeil would be like living with a ghost. A ghost that hated his guts. That is, until the ghost starts leaving him post-it note messages, and staying up when he doesn’t come home, and crawling into his bed when he can’t sleep.Or, it's second year of university and Johnny thinks he's got everything figured out. Enter: Moon Taeil.
Relationships: Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 131
Kudos: 313





	1. The First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to my (not so) little challenge for the next few months! this fic is my baby!! it's gonna be a long ride but i have high hopes for it. i'm excited :DD
> 
> \- johnny and taeil are the main ship, but there will be little relationships and triangles (i love my rarepairs) along the way. they won't get together for a WHILE i'm truly sorry but they'll be the steady plot focus  
> \- johnny is the only pov! it is his perception and understanding of each character, (whether it is accurate or not, we don’t know)  
> \- includes all of the 127 ensemble in varying levels. the 'bad' characters will be redeemed!  
> \- yuta is 22, taeil/doyoung/taeyong are 21, and the rest are 20 (except donghyuck but that's not important yet)  
> \- lots of alcohol, intended legal age is 18! no criminal activity here  
> \- for reference, i'm estimating this work to be ~100-150k and 20-25 chapters but that's not set in stone  
> \- also, title is from a Maya Angelou quote<3
> 
> [unfinished, currently updating every other friday]

"You've got two minutes."

Johnny tapped his foot impatiently as the cars flew by. "Shit, I'm at least five away."

As soon as the light turned red, he stepped into the crosswalk, already halfway across the intersection by the time the walking man appeared. He cut the corner and sprinted across the next crosswalk just as it turned red.

"You're not making a very good impression," Jaehyun said into his ear, and Johnny huffed as he continued to race down the sidewalk, weaving around passerby.

"Thanks for your support, Jae," he bit back. "It's not like this is my last chance before I’m forced to move back in with my parents."

"I offered you a place." 

He could picture Jaehyun’s smug face, leaning back in his chair with his ankles crossed on his desk. "On you and your boyfriend's couch!" he hissed, voice an octave higher, and a couple glanced at him as he speed-walked past. He coughed, fidgeting with the AirPod in his ear. "I'd rather sleep in my car."

Jaehyun laughed, and Johnny turned another corner, breathing hard.

"We could make it work if this guy turns out to be weird or something, or doesn't like you," he said.

"Can't you just wish me good luck and stop anticipating my rejection? I need this, Jae," Johnny grumbled, pulling out his phone to check the address for the hundredth time. "What if he gave me a fake coffee shop? I've never heard of it."

"I'm the one anticipating rejection?" Jaehyun teased. Johnny was too focused on scanning the signs for the coffee shop he was supposed to be at three minutes ago to reply.

"Think I found it," he finally said, rushing into the building and pushing the elevator button for the third floor.

"You're not that late, he might not even be there yet," Jaehyun said, but they both knew the chances were slim.

The elevator opened, and Johnny stepped in. "Okay, gotta go now. If I don't text you in an hour, send help." He caught his breath as the elevator creaked upwards.

"Good luck, Johnny. I'm sure it'll go well. You’re hard not to like,” he praised him. It sounded a little stiff, but comforting nonetheless.

Johnny smiled to himself. "Wow, that was... nice? Are you feeling alright?"

Jaehyun's laugh echoed in his ears again. "I try not to inflate your ego too much. You do fine without it."

The elevator stopped, doors jerking open. Johnny stepped out and walked down the hall.

"Heading in now. Talk to you later."

"See you. You'll do fine."

Jaehyun hung up first as Johnny pulled his AirPods out of his ears and into the case, stuffing it back into his jacket pocket. He took a deep breath, still panting from his little jog, and ran a hand through his hair before stepping into the coffee shop.

As he wandered further into the room, eyes darting around the quiet tables, a man stood up from his seat in the far corner. Johnny approached slowly, and they met in the middle.

"Hi, are you Johnny?"

"Yep, that's me. Taeil?"

He nodded, turning around to head back to his table without another word. Johnny followed behind, glancing at his phone once more before slipping it into his pocket. Six minutes late. 

Taeil took a seat at the table again, motioning to the other chair across from him for Johnny to sit. He already had an iced coffee in front of him, half gone.

"Sorry I'm a little late," Johnny said as he slid the chair back. "Have you been waiting long?"

Taeil shook his head, stirring the drink. "Only ten minutes or so."

Of course he was early. Johnny should've been earlier. Strike one.

"Did you... run here?" Taeil asked as Johnny wrestled to keep his breathing silent. He froze.

"I wasn't sure where the coffee shop was, and it was a little farther than I had estimated," he admitted with an awkward laugh.

Taeil just smiled politely. Johnny grimaced, feeling his cheeks heat up a little. 

Taeil gestured to the front of the cafe. "If you'd like to get something," he started, "feel free to order. I can wait a little longer."

"No, no that's okay, I'm fine. I've made you wait enough."

Taeil was silent, and Johnny busied himself with removing his jacket to hang it on the back of the chair. He watched him, sipping his drink.

“I like your tattoo,” Taeil said casually, eyes falling to where his forearm was now uncovered. 

“Oh, thank you,” he replied, glancing at the sunflower. “It means a lot to me. Do you have any?” 

“No.” 

Johnny waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. “Oh,” he started, “that’s… okay. I mean, that’s cool, too. They’re not for everyone.”

Johnny rambled in an attempt to get the conversation flowing, but Taeil wouldn’t bite. He took another drink as he traced the knots in the wooden table mindlessly. The cafe was uncomfortably quiet, he could hear Taeil’s dull nails scratching on the wood. Johnny shifted in his seat.

“So….,” he said hesitantly, “Your apartment?” 

His hand fell away as he looked up again. “Yes, the listing. You’re interested?” 

His eyebrow raised slightly at the obvious question, but he put on a polite smile. “Yeah, I really need a place.”

”I remember you saying that,” Taeil nodded. “You read the description?”

Again, Johnny smiled and said yes, but Taeil continued.

“It’s a two bedroom, one bathroom, so you’d have your own room but the bathroom is shared.” 

He knew this. “Not a problem,” he said. “It’s a dream compared to the dorms.” 

He was expecting Taeil to agree with him, but he was silent. Staring straight through him. 

“You didn’t dorm freshman year?” he asked, and Taeil shook his head. 

“I moved in with my friend from home, Yuta. The apartment was his originally,” he explained. “He graduated last year, which is why it’s listed now.” 

“Wow, so you’ve lived there for…” 

“Two years. I’m going into my 3rd year,” Taeil finished for him. 

“I’m going into 2nd year, is that okay?” he asked, and Taeil shrugged.

“As long as you can respect my space, I’ll respect yours.”

Johnny nodded quickly. “Right, I can do that.”

The apartment was bigger than any of the others he’d been looking at, so he wasn’t worried about stepping on each other’s toes. The kitchen was bigger than his entire dorm room from last year. 

“I work part time in the mornings, but it shouldn’t disrupt you. I would appreciate it if you weren’t too loud in the evenings, because that’s when I study. If you let me know in advance, I can go to the library if you’re having friends over.”

Johnny didn’t like to study at home, and he was out most evenings anyways. It was almost funny how little they had in common. “Sure, keep it down at night,” he mimicked a check mark in the air with his finger. “Got it, anything else?” 

Taeil thought for a second. “What’s your major?” 

“I went in undeclared, just picked Business last term,” Johnny answered. “What’s yours?”

“Early childhood education.” 

Johnny almost let his jaw drop, but he caught his reaction just in time. Taeil did not strike him as the nurturing, patient type. In fact, he was the complete opposite, but he wasn’t here to comment on Taeil’s life choices. 

“Cool,” he finally said. “Guess we won’t be seeing much of each other during the day.” 

“Guess not,” he replied flatly, picking at his cuticles. 

Johnny fell silent. They hadn’t exactly hit it off, not in the slightest. He couldn’t even tell if Taeil actually liked him at all, but he needed this. He couldn’t go back to living at home.

“So… it seems like you have a routine figured out. If I promise to not get in your way, you’ll consider me?” 

Taeil nodded silently.

“Do I have any competition? Like I said, I-“

“Like you said,” Taeil interrupted. “I remember. But no, there’s no one else.” 

“No one?” Johnny was surprised. “But the apartment is so nice, I figured you’d have tons of messages.” 

“It wasn’t listed for very long,” he said simply. 

“Why?”

Taeil sighed. “To be honest, I wasn’t set on having a roommate. Yuta is convinced I need one, so he posted the ad and dealt with the responses. He picked one he liked, and sent me their phone number.” 

“My phone number,” Johnny worked out.

“Yes, yours.”

“So, are you offering it to me?”

“Guess so.” 

He was the least enthusiastic realtor Johnny had ever seen, but he still had the urge to leap up and hug him.

“Thank you, Taeil! I promise I’ll be the best- second best roommate ever,” he corrected, in respect to Yuta. 

Thankfully, Taeil smiled a little.

“Classes start in two weeks. Is that enough time to get everything worked out?” he continued. 

Taeil looked surprised for a second, but he eventually nodded. “I’ll let you know when you can start bringing stuff over. Do you have a car?” 

“I do.”

“Okay, we’ve got a spot in the parking garage. Since Yuta isn’t using it anymore, you’re welcome to it.”

Johnny grinned. “Awesome. I was thinking I’d have to leave it somewhere.” 

Taeil just looked at him, finishing the last of his drink and placing it back on the table. “Well, I’ll work out the details with the landlord and let you know when you can sign the lease. The rent listed is non-negotiable, I hope that’s okay with you.” 

“Yes, yeah, that’s fine,” Johnny replied, still getting it through his head that he didn’t have to move home again. “I’ll make all my rent payments, not a day late.” 

Taeil furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s expected, at the least.”

Johnny stuttered. “No of- Of course! I wasn’t saying I- I was going to, of course I’ll pay it on time. Every month. You don’t have to worry, I promise.” 

He almost expected Taeil to take back his offer with the way he was staring at him, but after a long pause, his eyebrows slowly smoothed.

“I hope you can keep that promise, Johnny,” he said.

Johnny did the only thing he could think of doing and bowed his head respectfully, an inch farther than he usually would. While it was hidden, he took the opportunity to scrunch up his face in embarrassment.

Taeil cleared his throat. “Well, if that’s all the questions you have…” he said, glancing at him as Johnny lifted his head again.

He seemed like he was done talking, so Johnny nodded. “Yes, that’s it. Thank you again, Taeil. I look forward to getting to know you more.”

“Mm,” was all he replied, and Johnny clenched his teeth and forced a smile. He could tolerate the awkwardness just until the lease was signed, then they could keep to themselves. He could do it.

“I’ll go first, then,” he said, and Taeil watched him slide the chair back. 

“You’re tall,” Taeil commented absently, and Johnny turned to see him staring at his legs, before slowly moving up to his face.

“…Thank you?” he replied, unsure if he’d meant it as a compliment or just an observation. Taeil just rolled his lips together, and Johnny guessed that was all he wanted to say.

He grabbed his jacket from the chair and shrugged it on. He bowed quickly, pausing to extend his hand but Taeil had already turned back to the tabletop, so he tucked it back into his jacket pocket with a grimace.

“Bye, Taeil,” he said instead.

He didn’t look up. “Goodbye, Johnny.”

Johnny stared at him for a second, debating making a comment like “Did I do something wrong” or similar, but he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. Confrontation was not his strong suit, and he really didn’t feel like picking a fight with his (hopefully) new roommate.

He mumbled another “bye” as he turned to walk out of the cafe. He opted for the stairs instead of the elevator, speeding down the stairwell and stepping out onto the busy sidewalk again.

He pulled his phone out to check the time, seeing one text from Jaehyun that read “u alright?”. He pressed his number as he slipped his AirPods back into his ears. 

Jaehyun picked up on the second ring. “You good?”

“He hates me,” Johnny groaned, slipping into the flowing foot traffic. 

“You were barely there half an hour, how did he hate you that fast?” he asked.

“I don’t know!”

Jaehyun sighed. “Well, like I said, you’ve always got a place here if you don’t want to-”

“No, I got the place,” Johnny cut him off.

“You what?”

He slipped around a couple to continue down the road. “Taeil offered it to me,” he explained. “I just think he hates me, so I don’t really know why he did.” 

“That’s great, Johnny!” He sounded genuinely excited for him. “That’s all that matters, right?”

“I mean, yeah,” he agreed, “but I hate that he just hates me for no reason. It really bugged me.”

“What do you mean? What’d he do?”

Johnny crossed the intersection he’d sprinted across earlier, back in an area he was familiar with. 

“Nothing, and that’s the problem,” he grumbled. “He barely acknowledged me. I was polite, I smiled, laughed at his jokes, everything. I did everything right.”

“Except be on time,” Jaehyun muttered into the phone.

“It was only a few minutes,” he whined. “You think he already decided to hate me?”

“I don’t know, maybe he’s the type to get stuck on stuff like that. How old is he?”

Johnny thought back to their conversation. “He's going into third year, so maybe 21? Not old enough to be so picky.”

“Hmm,” he hummed in his ears. Johnny could picture him spinning a pen in his fingers the way he always did when he concentrated on studying.

“Maybe he had a bad day?” he offered. “Maybe he’s not usually like this.”

“I didn’t get that feeling.” Johnny reached his bus stop just as it pulled up, and he scanned his wallet as he got on. He settled in a seat towards the back, dropping his bag on the one next to him.

“Are you on the bus?” Jaehyun asked as it pulled into the road again. 

“Yeah.”

“Where are you going?”

“Your apartment.” 

Jaehyun chuckled in his ear, and Johnny grinned.

“You’re lucky Doyoung is out.”

“God, I was hoping you’d say that,” Johnny admitted, stifling a laugh as Jaehyun scoffed.

“I wish you’d make an effort to get along with him, asshole,” Jaehyun complained.

“I’m not the asshole here! I’m sorry your rich, upperclassman boyfriend is too cool to drink at the shitty clubs or play any sport that isn’t golf or tennis.” 

He wrestled with the window until it slid open, sending him flying back into his seat with a ‘hmph’. The breeze was nice, mixing with the sticky bus air in the August heat. 

“He’s still my boyfriend, Johnny.” Johnny could hear the frown in his voice. “He cares about me.”

He rolled his eyes as he watched the traffic outside. “Yeah, whatever. He still sucks.”

“All I’m asking is that you be a little more civilized.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “Just don’t invite him out with us anymore.”

“He doesn’t like you guys any more than you like him.”

“Well, I’m glad we could agree on something,” Johnny replied sarcastically.

The bus turned a corner, and Johnny recognized the street. He made his way slowly to the front.

“He’s in the same year as Taeil. Maybe he knows him, they seem like they’d be friends,” Johnny half-joked, but it was almost too possible to be funny. 

“Wouldn’t you love that,” Jaehyun teased him.

“Can’t we just switch places? I’m sure they’d get along great.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be roommates again this year,” Jaehyun replied.

“No, I didn’t want to be you and  _ Doyoung’s _ roommate,” he corrected. “I thought we were moving out together until he suddenly snatched you away.” 

His voice was bitter, but he couldn’t actually be upset with Jaehyun. They’d been paired randomly as dormmates freshman year, but they’d hit it off immediately. It was a bit of a shock for him, sure, when he’d mentioned moving in with Doyoung towards the end of the year, but they hadn’t made any promises to each other. Plus, it had only been a few weeks and Johnny was over more often than not. 

“He didn’t snatch me away, you said it was fine!”

“It is fine! I was sick of you, anyways,” he bit back.

Jaehyun laughed. “Oh yeah? Shame, I think I heard Doyoung at the door,” he taunted. “Maybe it isn’t the best time to come over after all. Guess you’ll have to be sick of me for another day by yourself.”

The bus slowed to a stop, and Johnny scanned his wallet again as he stepped out, tipping his head to the driver.

“Too late, I’m already here,” he replied, before throwing an “asshole” at the end and hanging up without waiting for his response.

He walked up to Jaehyun’s apartment building, taking the stairs two at a time up to his floor. He pressed the doorbell over and over until it swung open.

Jaehyun glared at him as Johnny kicked his shoes off and strolled past him, smirking. “I don’t see Doyoung anywhere.”

“False alarm,” he said, poking him in the side as he followed behind. Johnny sank into the couch and he settled in the other corner, where he was sitting before.

“What’s he out doing?” Johnny asked.

Jaehyun shrugged, brushing an unruly strand of hair out of his eyes. “Said he was meeting some friends.” 

“You know them?”

A heavy pause, and then, “No.”

“You’ve never met them?”

“Not all of them,” Jaehyun defended. “I met a few, he brought them here… once,” he said, before more quietly, “Then they left.”

Johnny turned to look at him. “He hasn’t brought you out with any of his friends? In nearly a year of dating?”

Jaehyun fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “Only seven and a half months.”

“Jae,” he groaned. “This man is not worth a minute of the seven and a half months you’ve wasted on him.” 

“He’s not as bad as you think.” Johnny didn’t understand why he was standing up for him. “You just don’t know him.”

“Implying he is still bad doesn’t help your case, you know.”

Jaehyun let out a frustrated sigh as he leaned over and snatched up the TV remote, turning it on to the Netflix show he was watching previously.

Johnny looked over at him, his tightened jaw and bottom lip slightly jutted out. “Sorry, Jae,” he said, his tone more gentle.

“It’s fine.” His eyes didn’t leave the TV screen, but his features softened. “I’m just sick of having this conversation. I really don’t understand why you hate him so much.”

Johnny could list 50 reasons why he didn’t like him, but he didn’t think Jaehyun was actually asking.

“I just think he isn’t the right fit for you, Jae,” he treaded carefully, not wanting to actually fight.

He was quiet for a moment. “I just think,” he finally said, before glancing at him, “that isn’t your call.”

His eyes weren’t angry, but they were firm. He didn’t want to discuss it anymore, and Johnny respected that. He relented, putting a hand on Jaehyun’s thigh for a second, as a peace offering. Jaehyun gave him a small smile. 

He pulled back his hand to wrestle his phone out of his back pocket as Jaehyun made himself more comfortable, turning the volume up and focusing on the show. They sat in silence for a bit, Johnny’s attention flickering between the TV and his phone.

When the episode finished, Jaehyun stretched his arms back before rolling over to look at Johnny. 

“When are you able to move your stuff into the new apartment?” he asked casually, his legs now thrown across Johnny’s lap. He and Doyoung hadn’t found a good coffee table yet.

“He said he’d text me,” he answered. “Once I get the lease signed, I think I’m good to go.”

“Your parents gonna come up and help you move in?”

“Doubt it. My dad’s busy, and my mom’s got my little brother.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Donghyuck is 10, not 3. Leave him with your grandparents.” 

He shrugged. “True, but I still don’t see it happening. They almost didn’t come with me last year.”

Johnny loved his parents, but they were certainly more uninvolved than most. Especially compared to Jaehyun’s, who drove up to see him at least once a month. Luckily, they always brought enough food for the two of them to share. Jaehyun had asked him about it once, why his parents never visited him, but he didn’t dwell on it much. 

Jaehyun just nodded, glancing over to him. “You want help moving stuff?” he offered.

“That’d be great, yeah,” he smiled, patting the legs in his lap.

“And before you ask,” Jaehyun started, his tone light, “I won’t bring Doyoung.”

He yelped as Johnny suddenly slapped his calves, swinging them out of his lap and pulling his knees in. They both laughed as he cowered against the arm of the couch. 

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Johnny defended himself, still grinning.

“But you were thinking about it,” he argued with no real aggression.

He held his hands up with a laugh. “I’m not allowed to think anymore either?” 

“I didn’t know you knew how to,” he teased before leaping off the couch when Johnny lunged at him. He jumped away, cackling, as Johnny fell into his empty seat. 

He groaned into the cushion, pushing himself up as Jaehyun laughed at him from where he stood across the room.

“I use my brain,” he faked anger, scowling at him. “Sometimes.”

He giggled as he walked back over to him, ruffling his hair like a little kid. “Yeah, sometimes.”

He sunk into the couch beside him, their laughter quieting. After a moment, Johnny pulled his legs back across his lap before going back to his phone. Jaehyun smiled to himself.

“Doyoung doesn’t like it when I put my feet on the couch,” he said quietly, like he’d pop up somewhere to scold him. 

Johnny stopped scrolling on his phone. “I bet Taeil wouldn’t like it, either. He probably doesn’t eat on it, either. He probably even has a blanket over it in case of stains, but he still won’t eat on it.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, dropping his head back against the armrest. “He probably does,” he echoed, looking up at the ceiling.

“I still think we should get Doyoung to move over there, just for ergonomical reasons, you know.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow at him. “Fancy word. Did you learn that in your business management class?”

“I did, actually. I do use my brain, contrary to popular belief,” he grinned.

“Well, first of all it’s ergonomic, not ergonomical. Second of all, this is Doyoung’s apartment, so he’s not going anywhere.”

Johnny stuck his tongue out at him. “Whatever, I still remembered the word.” 

“Sort of.”

“It was worth a shot,” Johnny sighed, leaning back into the couch.

Jaehyun watched the gears in his head spin as he stared in space. “I’m sure Taeil will warm up to you,” he said, trying to ease some of his worry.

“I hope so,” he replied. “It would be pretty awkward if we just didn’t acknowledge each other for the whole year.”

Jaehyun hummed in agreement, tapping his fingers against his stomach.

“He said he had this roommate, Yuta,” Johnny started. “They’ve lived together for 2 years, and they were friends from highschool. He graduated this year, and I guess he’s moving for work or something.”

“So he’s never lived in the dorms?” Jaehyun asked, surprise evident.

“Never.” He spoke like he was telling a ghost story. 

“Oh god, that means he probably like…  _ cooks _ and shit,” Jaehyun groaned, and Johnny laughed. That was their version of a poltergeist.

“Yeah, wait until he sees that I live off of coffee, fruit snacks, and take out.”

Jaehyun laughed along with him. “He might kick you out on the spot.” 

“I bet he meditates in the morning, too,” he paused when Jaehyun’s laughter got louder, “and listens to classical music because it’s more _ intellectually stimulating _ .”

When he pinched his nose to make his voice sound snobby, Jaehyun lost it. He was nearly on the floor, sides aching and legs flailing around wildly. When he moved to sit up so he could breathe again, Johnny readjusted at the same time, and he ended up with Jaehyun’s heel square on his crotch.

He hadn’t seen it coming. Johnny howled in pain, keeling over and crumpling to the floor, which only made Jaehyun laugh harder. 

“Are… you….,” he got out in between fits of giggles, “…okay?” He clutched at his stomach, teary-eyed as Johnny continued to moan at his feet, but he was laughing too.

He fought to calm his breathing as he wiped at his eyes, still panting as Johnny finally lifted his head. His jaw was clenched shut and his eyes were glossy as he spat out weakly, “Fuck you, Jung Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun broke into laughter again as he watched him suffer on the floor. Just then, the door code beeped and someone stepped into the apartment. They froze.

“Oh, hello Johnny,” Doyoung said as he shut the door behind him. “I could hear you from down the hall. What are you doing on the floor?”

Johnny held his tongue as he struggled up to sit on the couch again, where Jaehyun had quieted. He glanced at him, and Jaehyun pleaded with his eyes.  _ Be nice _ .

“Hello, Doyoung,” he replied evenly, ignoring his first comment. “It’s just more comfortable sometimes. Jaehyun takes up a lot of space.”

Jaehyun chuckled, flashing him a grateful smile. Doyoung didn’t respond. He slipped his shoes off, setting them to the side and picking up Johnny’s, thrown off carelessly, to line them up as well. Johnny never bothered, partly because he was lazy, but mostly because he knew how much it annoyed Doyoung.

When he entered the living room, he surveyed the scene, Jaehyun sprawled on the couch and Johnny sat at his feet. His gaze hovered on Jaehyun’s warm smile, but instead of walking over to greet him, he returned the smile curtly and turned towards the kitchen.

“I thought we agreed on no feet on the couch, hm?” he called as he disappeared from view.

Johnny scoffed quietly, pulling a face at Jaehyun, who just sat up properly without acknowledging him. “We did, sorry,” he muttered as he stood up to follow him into the other room.

Johnny stayed put as they chatted, or rather Jaehyun chatted and Doyoung answered his questions. He never once asked how Jaehyun was doing, or what they’d done that day. He rolled his tongue around in his cheek as he bit back the urge to call him out for it.

Eventually, the talking died down, and Jaehyun wandered back into the living room. He looked scolded, eyes downcast as he sat back down next to Johnny.

“What,” Johnny asked under his breath. “What did he say to you.”

He shook his head. “Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired, you know. He’s making dinner for us.”

Frustration bubbled up in his veins as he listened to Doyoung chop vegetables and turn a burner on. He wanted to say something, but he knew Jaehyun would only be upset with him.

“Will you be staying much longer, Johnny?” he heard Doyoung ask. Of course Johnny wasn’t included in the ‘us’. 

He rolled his eyes and stifled a bitter chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair. I’ve got plans tonight.”

Jaehyun’s ears perked at the mention of plans, but Johnny didn’t actually have any. He just wanted Doyoung to think he did.

He stood up to grab his bag, leaning down to Jaehyun’s ear as he passed by. “Once I get moved in,” he hissed, “we’re hanging out there now.”

Jaehyun cracked a smile as he watched him slide his shoes on, purposely knocking one of Doyoung’s out of their neat order. He slung his bag over his shoulder as he waved at Jaehyun.

“See you tomorrow?” he asked, and Jaehyun nodded. He grinned before clearing his throat and raising his voice an octave. “Bye, Doyoung, see you soon! Have a good rest of your evening!” he called over the kitchen noise, making sure he’d hear him. 

The chopping promptly stopped, and everything froze for a second. Jaehyun gaped at him, slapping a hand over his mouth as his eyes crinkled with laughter. Johnny smiled proudly, blowing a kiss as Jaehyun rushed over to shoo him out the door. 

“I tried to be nice,” Johnny pouted at him, narrowly avoiding a swat to his arm.

“God, not that nice,” Jaehyun hissed, but he was still smiling. He lowered his voice further as he pushed Johnny out into the hall. “Doyoung’s going to visit his parents for the weekend, so the apartment is empty. I’ll text you when he leaves tomorrow.”

“Pizza and movies?” Johnny cheered, only to be shushed again.

“Only if you can keep the rug clean this time,” he compromised. “Doyoung’s head nearly blew off when he saw the sauce stains last time. And you’re buying.”

“Done. Pinky swear.” He held out his pinky and Jaehyun twisted it in his, giving it a shake.

“Okay, see you tomorrow,” he waved as he stepped back inside again.

“See you,” Johnny replied, before hollering at the top of his lungs, “Tell Doyoung I’ll miss him!”

“Go home, Johnny!” he yelled back and pretended to swing at him again, giggling as he darted off down the hall and closing the door behind him.

Johnny skipped down the stairs and headed off to his bus stop again, wondering about what his new roommate would possibly do if he discovered pizza stains on their carpet. If he was anything like Doyoung, this was going to be an interesting year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm a little nervous about this work, please leave a kudos/comment if you liked it :) it would mean a lot <33


	2. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny moves in and then visits some friends he hasn't seen in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments on the first chapter!! It makes me very excited to keep writing :) I hope you'll also like this chapter!

“Turn here? This building?” Johnny asked frantically, checking all of his mirrors for people and bikes in the busy road.

Jaehyun was hunched over his phone, gaze flickering between it and the road signs. “I think so, I can’t really tell.”

“That doesn’t help me! You’re supposed to be navigating!” Cars were honking behind him as he tried to pull over to the side and out of the way, but it was no use. The road was tight, and he couldn’t hold up traffic. “Shit, I’m making another loop. This is a nightmare.”

“I think it’s this one, on the right here,” Jaehyun pointed out the window at a building as they drove past.

“I can’t see, idiot.” He was shimmying between a parked car and oncoming traffic, so close on either side he thought his side mirrors were going to be ripped off. The honking and pedestrians all around weren’t helping either. He regretted waiting until the weekend to find the new apartment address.

After he made a loop around the block again, Jaehyun directed him into the parking garage of the building successfully collision-free. He found the empty spot labelled with his apartment number and pulled in.

“You’re lucky to have a parking spot, you know how rare that is in this area,” Jaehyun said as they got out of the car. None of their friends had cars in the city, mostly because it was expensive and public transportation was easier.

“Yeah, except it makes me the designated driver for everything,” Johnny grumbled. “It’s a blessing and a curse.” He walked to the back of the car, looking at the boxes of stuff through the back window. “Should we take some stuff now or just go see it first?”

“Maybe leave the stuff for now. Taeil could help us, too," he said, motioning towards the building.

Johnny nodded, stepping away from the car and heading to the elevators. He pushed the button and stood back to wait, Jaehyun following behind.

He watched Johnny shift his weight from foot to foot, picking at the rip in his jeans. “You nervous?” he asked.

“A little,” he admitted. “Just hope he isn’t a pain in the ass. It’d be great if we could at least talk sometimes.”

"I'm sure it'll be fine, he'll soften up." Jaehyun patted his shoulder, giving him a smile.

"Hope so," he muttered. The elevator opened, and they both stepped in.

The ride up was silent, stopping on the 14th floor for them to get out and walk down the hall. He scanned the numbers as they walked by, slowing towards the end.

"This one?" Jaehyun asked. Johnny was staring at the door.

He nodded.

"You gonna... open it?"

Johnny knew the code, he had it written on his phone and had even memorized it already. But he hesitated at the handle.

He looked at Jaehyun. "Should I knock?" he asked slowly.

"Why?"

Johnny fidgeted with his hoodie, and whispered, "I don't know, he might be surprised or something. I don't want to barge in."

Jaehyun looked at him like he was insane. "Johnny, you live here."

"I know!" he huffed, pulling his hands away and stuffing them in his pockets. "I just," he groaned. "I don't know."

"Just knock if you're that worried about it," Jaehyun shrugged. "Pretend you don't know the code."

Johnny took a deep breath, looking at the doorbell button. He hesitated in front of it, before Jaehyun gave him a gentle shove. He glared at him before finally pushing the button.

He could hear the ring echoing through the apartment, before quiet footsteps made their way to the door. They paused in front of it, and Johnny stood back so Taeil could see him in the peephole. The door swung open.

"Johnny?"

He looked more casual than he had at the coffee shop. He was dressed in plain athletic shorts and a grey hoodie, his hands tucked into the pocket. His hair was ruffled and still damp from the shower. Even on the step up from the entryway, he was shorter than Johnny. He looked confused.

"Hi, Taeil," he smiled awkwardly. "This is my friend, Jaehyun," he pointed at him, and Jaehyun waved. "He's helping me move in."

"Hi," he said, giving Jaehyun a polite nod, before turning back to him. "Do you not have the door code?"

"I do," he said before he could remember what Jaehyun had told him. He suddenly felt more nervous than before. "I just, I didn't want to startle you, in case you... forgot, or something."

"Forgot I had a new roommate?" he said, and Johnny ducked his head to hide the flush in his cheeks.

"Guess so, yeah," he mumbled, hair falling to cover his face.

Taeil stepped back from the door so they could come in. "This is your apartment now, too. You can use the code, okay?” His tone soothed Johnny’s nerves, oddly gentle and kind. It was a change from their first meeting.

"Right," he agreed, and followed him through the door. Jaehyun chuckled quietly behind him, and he shot him a look.

They kicked their shoes off and slid them to the side before following Taeil into the living room. There was a wall of windows with a view of the busy street in both directions, and the room was warm in the reflected sun. One of the windows was tilted, and he could hear the muted noises of the traffic he’d just been panicking in. It was more soothing now, a comfortable background noise. 

He could see the kitchen to the right, separated by an island with bar stools, and a hallway to the left. The rug was soft under his toes. Taeil turned around to face them, features shadowed by the light.

"Feel free to look around, ignore any messes and stuff," he waved his hand towards the hallway. "Your room is the first door on the right, mine's at the end. The bathroom is on the left."

"Great, thanks," Johnny said, shuffling his feet as he looked around the room, in awe. There was nothing out of place, nothing on the floor, everything orderly and straight. The glass coffee table had a single textbook on it, next to a half-burned candle.

"Doing some light reading?" Jaehyun joked, pointing at the book.

Taeil smiled politely. "Just preparing for the next semester. I like to get a head start on the reading."

Of course he did. Jaehyun glanced at him subtly, eyebrows arched and lips fighting a smile. Johnny rolled his lips between his teeth, giving him a warning look. If he had to tolerate Doyoung, Jaehyun could be quiet for 15 minutes.

He decided to step into the kitchen, opening cabinets and drawers. There were lots of pots and dishes, nice ceramics and glassware. They looked expensive.

"Do you cook a lot?" he called to Taeil.

He looked over to him. "Yeah, most days. You're welcome to use any of it, and there's space if you brought anything, too."

Johnny had never cooked a meal by himself in his entire life, and he wasn't planning on changing that, but he still nodded and smiled. "Thank you, I don't think I have much to add that you don't already have."

Taeil smiled, walking into the kitchen to open a cabinet with blue and white patterned plates and bowls. "I like having matching dishes. Those were a gift from Yuta when he left."

"Understandable," Johnny grinned. He didn't understand it at all. "Matching dishes are a must." He had never even considered matching his plates and bowls.

He glanced at him, and Johnny felt his body freeze up. He thought Taeil might've caught his fib, but he just held his gaze for a moment and continued on. Johnny felt the strange sensation that he was possibly reading his mind, but he shook it off and followed him out of the kitchen.

Jaehyun was sitting on the couch on his phone. Johnny was pleased to notice there was, in fact, no blanket over the cushions. It was an L shape, too, which meant no 'feet off the couch' enforcement. +1 point for Taeil, -1 point for Doyoung.

"This couch is so nice," Jaehyun said as they walked in, leaning back into it and stretching his arms in the air. "Way better than ours. You have good taste, Taeil."

"Thank you. I like it, too," he replied evenly.

Johnny walked over to sit next to him, sighing contentedly as he sunk in the cushions. It was deep and the back was low, with the perfect balance of firmness and fluff. He could already see him and Jaehyun stretched out with takeout in the evenings.

As much as he wanted to sit there forever, he forced himself up to go look at the bedroom. He wandered down the hall, heading to the one Taeil had pointed to. When he opened the door, he held in a gasp.

The room was spotless, cleaner than any room of his had ever been in his 20 years of living. The walls were white, not a single mark or scratch, and the floor was light wood. There was a large, cream colored rug in the middle, partially underneath the huge double bed.

He threw himself face-first into the pillows like a starfish. He'd gotten so used to his little twin dorm bed and his feet sticking out the bottom that this felt like a dream. He heard someone come in behind him, but he couldn't be bothered with lifting his head.

"Damn, this is like a hotel room," he heard Jaehyun say from the door. He made a noise of agreement, muffled by the covers, and Jaehyun chuckled.

He turned his head to the side so he could breathe again, feeling Jaehyun's weight fall beside him, his back on the mattress and head landing on Johnny's arm.

"It's so soft," he said, staring at the ceiling and letting his eyes close. Johnny just hummed, nuzzling his head down further against it.

Taeil had appeared in the doorway and he laughed quietly at the two boys squished on the bed. "Do you like it?" he asked, even though the answer was obvious.

"Love it," Johnny replied, gently sliding his arm out from under Jaehyun's neck so he could roll over onto his back too. He sat up to look around the rest of the room.

There was another huge window that took up half of the opposite wall, but it was covered with curtains. He pulled them to the side a little, sticking his head through and flinching at the bright light. He'd definitely be keeping those closed.

Next to the window was a desk and chair, equipped with only a small lamp and a power strip. He'd never been able to study at home because he couldn't keep focused, but maybe he'd start now. He walked over to the sleek white wardrobe, opening the doors and drawers inside it. There were a few spare blankets, but it was otherwise cleared out. He didn't even have enough clothes to fill it.

Jaehyun had gotten up to explore the other corner of the room, and when Johnny turned around, Taeil was busy smoothing the duvet where they had ruffled it. He smiled to himself, imagining the way Taeil would react to seeing his room at home if this was messy for him.

"This room is fantastic, I don't know why Yuta would ever want to leave," he said to Taeil, who looked up as he finished fixing the bed.

"He found it when he moved to the city, that was almost four years ago now," Taeil explained. "I was the same as you when I came. It was a dream for the last two years. Even though he's excited for his new job, I think he's sad to leave, too."

"You don't find apartments this good that aren’t crazy expensive anymore," Jaehyun commented. "Trust me, I spent the last six months calling and viewing every listing."

Taeil nodded silently, standing back from the bed and folding his arms against his stomach.

"Where is he working?" Johnny asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"He has a degree in communications, so he's working for a big entertainment agency in their international branch," he replied.

Jaehyun turned around to flash a bright smile. "That's my major, too! I wonder if I've ever seen him around."

"Maybe," he said. "He was pretty busy with his internship last year, but he was still taking a few classes. I think he was a TA during first semester as well."

"He liked to keep busy," Johnny observed.

"We both did," he corrected. "We both do."

Johnny glanced at Jaehyun just as he did, and their eyes met for a moment. His expression was unreadable, but Johnny smiled slightly and Jaehyun returned it, before turning back to Taeil.

"We can start bringing stuff up, I think," Jaehyun said, stepping towards the doorway.

Taeil let them through, following behind as they walked back to the front. They slipped their shoes on to head downstairs, and Taeil took a seat on the edge of the couch, watching. Johnny flashed him a smile.

"I'll use the code this time," he said lightly, and Taeil returned his smile.

They stepped out to walk down the hall, silent until they made it to the elevator.

"I know he's pretty quiet and awkward," Jaehyun spoke first, grabbing his forearm and shaking it a little, "but he's kind of adorable, Johnny. In a quiet and kind of intimidating way."

Johnny laughed as he pushed the button, letting his arm be shaken around. "He was nicer today. I told you, he's got this vibe, like I thought he hated me, but now he seems more open and… normal. I can't figure him out."

"His matching dishes," Jaehyun whined, clutching at his heart through his sweater. "And the way he fixed your duvet after you messed it up and," he paused, eyes widening, "oh my god he's going to hate that you never make your bed."

The elevator doors opened, and Johnny stepped through, still chuckling. "I know, I was thinking about that, too. I'll keep my door closed to spare him the heart attack every morning."

"He's in for a shock," Jaehyun replied. "It sounds like he and Yuta were really a pair."

Johnny hummed in agreement, leaning back against the wall.

"I hope you try to make peace with him," he continued. "Just don't give him too much stress you know, he seems... fragile."

Johnny gave him an unimpressed look. "He's fine, Jaehyun. And I'll be good as long as he cooperates, too. I haven't given him any reason to dislike me, even though he still seems to already."

"I don't think so, I thought he was very polite," Jaehyun replied.

The doors opened, and they stepped into the car garage.

"Yeah, but you didn't see him at the coffee shop," Johnny reasoned, heading to his car. "He was way colder. I'm just not sure what to expect yet, that's all."

"Fair enough," Jaehyun gave in. He opened the back, pulling out one of the bigger boxes. Johnny took out a smaller one to place on top, and Jaehyun hooked his chin over it.

Johnny grabbed some bags to carry up while Jaehyun went to hold the elevator. He made another trip, dropping boxes at his feet before sending it up, where Jaehyun slid them out onto their floor. It was a tedious process, but it was better than lugging them all up the stairs.

Once they had everything upstairs, they moved it one by one into the apartment. Taeil held the door open for them as they came in and out, dropping everything in the middle of the living room for Johnny to sort through later. It stood out like a sore thumb in the otherwise orderly room.

Johnny carried in the last box, dropping it on the floor before collapsing onto the couch. Jaehyun was sitting at the kitchen island, panting from the exertion, and Taeil stood by the wall, staring at the pile of stuff.

"That's everything?" he asked quietly, and Johnny nodded.

Taeil stared at it for another moment, almost like he thought it would get up and attack him, before he finally tore his eyes away. "Okay, well, I'll leave you to get settled. If you need anything, just knock."

"Thanks, Taeil," Jaehyun answered for him, smiling from his seat. Taeil padded away down the hall, his door opening and closing again as he disappeared from view.

Jaehyun took a deep breath before standing up. "Should we get started?"

Johnny groaned, dragging himself up off the couch to walk over and join him in front of his mountain of belongings. He didn't even know where to start, and truthfully, if it was just him, the pile would probably sit there for another week.

"I guess I'll start with my clothes," he said, digging around for the plastic bags that had his clothes in them. "You can throw the rest on my bed."

Jaehyun picked up a box and carried it into his room, setting it on the desk instead. They danced around each other, lugging everything down the hall, and occasionally bumping shoulders when they couldn't see around their arms.

Jaehyun pulled the curtains open to let in some light, and Johnny yelped. "Come on, you're not a vampire," he chuckled as Johnny wrestled to close them again. "It's too dark in here."

"Turn the lights on," Johnny whined.

"It's daytime, nature's lightbulb," he waved his hand to the window. "Plus, it's free, and better for the planet. Don't you learn that in business?"

Johnny gave up, collapsing on the bed between the piles of stuff and shielding his eyes with an elbow.

"Quit being so dramatic." He smacked Johnny's arm playfully. "You need to get some of this stuff unpacked before we go over to Mark's later."

"I know," he moaned, "but it's so much work. I didn't know I had this much stuff."

Jaehyun laughed, grabbing a bag to dump out. "Right. Just tackle the clothes for now, I'll try and sort through some of this."

Johnny got up eventually, stacking up shirts and pants to put into the wardrobe. He didn't have that many clothes that needed to be hung, besides a few sweaters and button-ups, so it didn't take long. Jaehyun worked in the bathroom, moving his products and shower things into the cabinet there.

When he was satisfied with his progress for the day, the wardrobe mostly filled and clothes organized, he piled the rest of the stuff in the corner and plopped back on the bed again.

"Giving up?" Jaehyun asked, leaning against the door frame. "It's barely been an hour."

"I'm done, I can only be productive for so long." He sat up to look at him. "Time to go?"

Jaehyun glanced at his phone. "We've got some time. I'm sure we could go early, though."

"Yeah, just text him," Johnny said. "What's Doyoung up to?"

Jaehyun sent a quick message to Mark, and without looking up, answered, "Not sure, he wasn't there when you picked me up earlier."

"Suspicious," Johnny mumbled, but Jaehyun waved him off.

"He doesn't pry on what I'm doing, so I don't bother him. It's fine, Johnny."

"It's not prying to care about what your boyfriend is doing during the day," he argued, and Jaehyun sighed.

"Mark says we can come over anytime," he said instead, changing the topic.

Johnny was silent for a moment, debating pushing it further, but eventually decided against it. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, wiggling his phone out of his pocket. It was just past 5pm.

"Do you think we should ask Taeil to come?" Jaehyun asked, his voice lowered.

"No," he answered quickly. That was a terrible idea. "He'd hate them."

"But I feel bad just leaving him here," Jaehyun pouted. "He probably misses Yuta a lot, maybe he doesn't have a lot of other friends."

Johnny rolled his eyes with a huff. "He's not a pet, Jaehyun, he's his own person. He wouldn't want to come, anyways."

Jaehyun put on his best puppy dog eyes. "It doesn't hurt to ask."

"God, fine," he surrendered, and Jaehyun grinned. "If you like him so much, why don't you live with him,” he scowled.

"With this room? Gladly," Jaehyun teased before turning around to head down the hall. Johnny let his head fall back for a second, wondering when Jaehyun got so good at getting what he wanted, before standing up and trailing behind.

He had just turned the corner when Jaehyun knocked gently on Taeil's bedroom door. A few seconds later, it opened, and Taeil poked his head out.

"Hey," Jaehyun smiled warmly. "I- _We_ ,” he gestured behind him, “were just wondering if you wanted to come meet a few of our friends with us? They're very nice, and they'll probably be around during the year. I'm sure they'd love to meet you, too."

Taeil looked visibly surprised at his offer, and he took a tiny step back that Johnny barely noticed. Jaehyun was also half a head taller than him, which made him a little more daunting.

"Oh, um...," he started, staring up at Jaehyun with big eyes. "I'm... busy, tonight. But thank you for the offer."

Jaehyun looked a little wounded, and Johnny swallowed the urge to say "I told you so".

"Are you sure? It would only be for a few hours, we're not going out tonight or anything," Jaehyun tried again. At the mention of going out, Taeil dropped his gaze, stepping back again.

"I'm really okay," he assured him, voice firmer. "I hope you guys have fun."

Jaehyun opened his mouth to say more, but Johnny grabbed his wrist gently. He could tell Taeil wasn’t going to be convinced.

"No problem, Taeil," Johnny stepped in, letting go of his wrist to throw an arm around his shoulder. "I'll be back later this evening. I'll be quiet if it's late."

Taeil nodded up at him, looking a little relieved. He glanced between the two taller boys silently. Johnny turned around to leave, but Jaehyun hesitated under his arm.

He looked ready to say something, Taeil frozen under his gaze, but then he swallowed and put on a smile again. "Have a good evening, Taeil," he said instead. "It was nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other this year."

Taeil said nothing, just watching as he turned away to follow Johnny down the hall.

They slipped their shoes on, grabbing their bags and coats before heading to the door. Just as Johnny opened it, Taeil stepped halfway around the corner of the hallway, like a child peeking around their mother.

"Bye," he murmured, before finding Johnny's gaze. "See you tonight."

He was stunned into silence, but Jaehyun answered for him. "Bye, Taeil," he said with a wave, slightly shoving Johnny towards the door. He stumbled, grabbing the handle and shooting Jaehyun a look, but he just ushered him out.

"What was that for?" he hissed once they were outside, the door locking with a beep behind them.

"You were staring," was all Jaehyun said before walking off down the hall.

  
  
  


\-------------------

  
  
  


"Markie!"

Jaehyun launched himself at Mark as soon as he opened the door, sending him flying backwards with a grunt. Johnny laughed as he followed behind, seeing Mark's roommate, Jungwoo, standing to the side and went to give him a less aggressive hug.

"Hey, Johnny," he said into his shoulder, before pulling back with a smile. "Missed you guys."

"Missed you too, Woo. It's been ages," he replied, stretching out the last word.

"It's barely been 2 months," Mark said as he came over to give Johnny a hug. "You can't live without us?" he teased.

"Not when we didn't go a day apart last year." Johnny pretended to pout. "You didn't miss me?"

"Course I did," he said, reaching up to wrap an arm over his shoulder. Johnny squeezed him until he coughed, laughing as he smacked his chest to release him.

Johnny had played club basketball all through high school, but failed to get a scholarship for it at a school he liked. He decided to play on a recreational team at college instead, and had met both Mark and Jungwoo on the team. They'd grown close over the fall season, and together with Jaehyun, they spent most of their time together.

"How's your new apartment?" Jaehyun asked, wandering further into the room. The window was cracked but it was still warm in the setting sunlight, casting shadows on the furniture. The TV had been playing quietly but Jungwoo switched it off, turning on the speaker instead. 

Johnny took it all in. It was smaller than his and Taeil’s, but it was comfortably cluttered. Dusty textbooks from last year, both their laptops sitting on the dinner table with papers scattered around, half-empty water bottles, coats hanging on the chairs and shoes kicked off in a pile. Mark’s guitar was leaning against one wall, and Jungwoo’s extensive Kakao friends collection sat on his treasured glass display shelf, (his favorite was Ryan). It felt lived in, and Johnny liked that.

"It's good, yeah," Jungwoo answered, bringing Johnny’s attention back. "Shower pressure is weak and gets cold fast, especially if someone flushes the toilet," he paused to glare at Mark, who just laughed. "Otherwise, works for us. The location is great, clubs are within walking distance."

They continued to chat about their summer break as they made their way into the living room, spreading out on the couch and floor. Johnny sat down on the couch, and Jaehyun leaned against his legs. Mark settled back on the floor, and Jungwoo went into the kitchen. There was chicken and pizza on the table in front of them, and Jaehyun grabbed a slice with a napkin as a plate. Johnny took a chicken leg and leaned back.

Jungwoo came back with a six-pack of beer cans. He handed them out, setting the other two aside as they popped them open, not bothering to pour it into glasses. They clinked the thin metal together over the table before sitting back to dig in.

After they’d eaten a little, Jaehyun nudged Johnny’s leg. 

"Johnny has a new roommate," he prompted before taking another bite, nodding up at him.

Jungwoo and Mark both turned to him. "The scary coffee shop guy? You got it?" Mark asked.

He laughed. "Yeah, that's him. Taeil. I moved my stuff in today."

"And?" Jungwoo said. "Is it weird? Does he have like, dead bodies or something in the freezer?"

They all chuckled, and Mark shoved his arm lightly. "Not that kind of weird," Johnny said. "Well, I'm not sure. I was scared of him last time, but now he almost seems scared of us." He looked to Jaehyun for confirmation, and he nodded.

"I offered for him to join us tonight, and he looked like I'd just threatened his life," Jaehyun told them, and they went wide-eyed.

"He must think big, scary men like you only have big, scary friends," Jungwoo giggled, glancing at Mark. "Wait until he actually meets us."

Mark scoffed, taking a swig of his beer and puffing up his shoulders. "I can be big and scary," he grumbled, making his voice go deeper than normal.

They burst into laughter, and Mark glared at them until he started laughing, too. Jungwoo reached over to ruffle his hair, and he swatted him away playfully. He distracted himself with a piece of chicken from the box, and Johnny stretched to grab another one, too.

"Besides that, the apartment is really nice. My room is bigger than back at home," Johnny said after he finished his piece. "It's near campus, too, and the rent is affordable."

"So when are we coming over?" Mark asked. Jungwoo nodded in agreement.

"Whenever, I guess," he shrugged. "I haven't unpacked everything yet, but I'll probably finish this weekend. I'll get anything else I need before classes start Monday, so anytime after that."

Mark took another slice of pizza, mumbling around his food, "Is your roommate cool with it? Us being around, I mean?"

"Guess we'll find out," Johnny replied. He wasn't really sure, either.

“I can’t wait to go out again, all of us,” Jungwoo said. “It’s been a while, and it’s more fun to drink when you know you’re skipping a lecture the next morning.”

“Oh, aren’t you so rebellious,” Mark crooned at him, and Jaehyun giggled.

“Next week?” he offered. “Wednesday night there’s a special for students, I saw it in a class group chat.”

“Perfect, I have a 9am on Thursday,” Jungwoo smirked. He tipped his beer can back against his lips, emptying it before setting it back down again. 

“Is Doyoung going to drag you home at midnight again?” Mark asked Jaehyun. He was idly spinning his beer can in his hand, feeling the liquid twirl inside it. 

Johnny and Jungwoo both glanced at each other after Mark spoke, and Jungwoo immediately made a snobby face, making him stifle a laugh.

Jaehyun reached behind him with his empty hand to smack Johnny’s thigh, and he flinched away with a yelp. “It wasn’t that early,” he argued. “But no, I won’t bring him.”

Jungwoo’s eyes went wide with surprise, before he broke into cheers. Mark looked just as surprised, but more concerned with Jaehyun than his roommate was.

“Is something up with you two?” he asked as Jungwoo calmed down, but Jaehyun shook his head.

He finished off his can. “Nothing, we’re fine,” he said. “He just isn’t a big fan of you guys.”

The blunt honesty caught them off guard, stunned into silence, and Johnny was the first to sputter out, “You didn’t say it like that before.”

He leaned his head on Johnny’s knee to look up at him, his face unimpressed. “Don’t pretend like you like him now.”

He chuckled, holding his hands up. “Oh, trust me, I don’t. I just thought you were still trying to make us like him.”

“It wasn’t working, was it?” he mumbled, and fell silent. The other boys all looked at each other, words drifting between their gazes. Mark looked particularly upset.

“Hey, if it helps,” he spoke up, “I didn’t mind him that much. I’m sorry that we don’t all get along as well as you hoped.”

Yeah, we are trying, Jae,” Jungwoo added, sticking out his bottom lip for extra effect. “Only because we care about you so much.”

He looked between the two of them, before finally dropping his head back with a weak laugh. Johnny pet his hair with the hand that wasn’t holding a chicken bone, offering an apologetic grin.

“I’m sick of you guys,” Jaehyun finally muttered. “Only being nice when I get mad at you.”

Mark frowned. “Don’t be mad. I’m sorry, Jae.”

He sounded so genuine that Jaehyun’s head lurched up, pulling out of Johnny’s reach. He sighed, a faint smile on his lips as he set the empty can aside to lean forward and crawl around the coffee table to where Mark was sitting.

“Oh, Markie,” he cooed, wrapping him up in a hug. “Even if you’re only a few months younger, you’ll always be our little baby brother. I could never be mad at you.”

Even though he usually hated being babied by them, he let Jaehyun hug him tight for a few seconds. Johnny watched fondly until Jungwoo caught his attention.

He leaned over to him with a smirk and whispered, “I think Mark’s become even more of a lightweight than last year. He didn’t even finish his beer.” Johnny stifled a laugh and tried to shove him away, but Jungwoo slipped out of reach with a brazen grin.

“Jungwoo, shut it,” Jaehyun chided, pretending to cover Mark’s ears against his chest. “You don’t have to be wasted to have feelings.”

“Not wasted,” Jungwoo cocked his head playfully. “Just buzzed.”

“‘M not buzzed,” Mark whined, pushing Jaehyun weakly away. He let go of him, sitting back on his heels and shooting a ‘look what you’ve done’ glare at Jungwoo.

“You’re not, Markie,” Jaehyun agreed. “Thank you for being worried about me. I promise I’m not that upset, I’ll get over it, okay?” 

Mark groaned, trying to glare at him but failing miserably. “You’re doing it again,” he said, more pitiful than anything. Jungwoo held in a laugh, his lips forming a straight line.

“Doing what?” Jaehyun murmured softly.

“Being all,” he gestured his hands at him, “like that. Babying me.” He spit the word out like it tasted bitter, and pulled a face at him.

“Ah,” he replied, with a slow nod. “And you don’t like it?”

Mark shook his head, and Jaehyun feigned a look of hurt. He tucked his chin into his chest, sulking as he turned to go back to Johnny. Mark groaned.

“Come on, Jae,” he whined, “don’t do that, I’m not actually-”

He spun around, revealing a bright, dimpled smile. “I know you secretly like it,” he said proudly, reaching out to pinch one of his cheeks.

Jungwoo and Johnny laughed as Mark wiggled away from his attacks, but he didn’t argue. “Just, keep it toned down, okay,” he yielded, and Jaehyun gave him a finger heart before letting him be. 

He went back to Johnny’s legs, a content smile on his lips as he settled back against him. Mark laid his head against Jungwoo’s shoulder with a yawn, pushing his beer can into his hand for him to finish, which he did. Johnny finished the rest of his as well, leaning over Jaehyun to set it back on the table.

“Guess we should head home soon,” Johnny poked Jaehyun. They had taken the bus over, so he didn’t have to worry about driving.

Jungwoo nodded to them. “I’ll put the baby to bed,” he crooned, ignoring Mark’s grumble of protest as he patted the crown of his head. “It’s past his bedtime.”

Johnny and Jaehyun chuckled to themselves as they stood up, gathering the empty food boxes to take to the trash on the way out.

“See you guys after classes on Monday,” Johnny said to the two boys. “And practice starts next week, too. Excited?”

“You know it,” Jungwoo replied. “Gonna be ass to get back into shape, though. I haven’t touched a basketball in months.”

Johnny chuckled, but he felt the same. He needed a new gym routine, he missed spending hours at the sports complex burning off school stress and messing around with the team.

“Alright, we’ll head out,” he waved to them, still sitting on the floor. “Enjoy your last day of freedom tomorrow. See you.”

“Bye!” Jaehyun called as he followed behind, shooting hearts with his fingers. Jungwoo returned them, and they battled back and forth, giggling. Jaehyun sent a final flying kiss as he shut the door behind him, declaring victory as they strolled towards the elevator.

“One day, Mark is going to snap and bite your fingers off if you pinch his cheek one more time,” Johnny teased, eyes crinkled with a grin.

Jaehyun laughed. “You’re probably right, but until then, I’ll push my luck.”

“It’s your fingers, not mine.” 

Jaehyun flashed him a lop-sided grin, sauntering off ahead of him to push the elevator button, and Johnny followed behind, feeling comfortably happy and content. A good start to the academic year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a kudos/comment to let me know what you thought ^^


	3. Early Birds and Night Owls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The basketball season begins, and Johnny does some anger-induced grocery shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no tag changes for this chapter, they are still as awkward as ever :)

When Johnny’s alarm tone rang out at 8:30am on the first day of classes, it took 3 minutes for him to even stir. He slapped a hand blindly on the nightstand, eventually snoozing the alarm only until the next one was set. 8:40am. 

He stirred, snoozed, and repeated another 3 times. By the 9:15am alarm, he pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his bleary eyes and finally accepting his fate of being a college student again, with classes and basketball practices to attend.

With his bedroom blinds drawn tightly shut at all times, the natural light in the hallway was a brutal greeting as he made his way to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. When he stepped into their shared bathroom, he realized with a slight frown that the mirror was slightly fogged in the middle, the shower door had been squeegeed dry, and it smelled vaguely of peppermint.

He poked his head in the direction of the kitchen and the living room. It was completely silent. Taeil had already gotten up and left.

Johnny stuffed his toothbrush in his mouth with a grumble. Since he’d moved in two days ago, he’d seen Taeil for all of fifteen minutes. Given, Johnny woke up around 11am the day before and Taeil had gotten home around 9pm and gone straight to bed, but a part of him had hoped that he’d be up early enough to see him that morning. The other, growing, part of him cared less and less about making an effort to befriend him. 

What business did he have leaving the house before 8am? Johnny yanked the faucet up to spit his toothpaste down the drain, flinging his toothbrush in the cup next to Taeil’s electric one on its charger. He quickly showered, scrubbing his scalp and drowning out the scent of Taeil’s faint shampoo with his own. He didn’t bother to squeegee the water stains when he got out.

He threw on a hoodie over a t-shirt and jeans, grabbing a baseball cap to cover his damp hair. His phone read 9:47am, and he had a class at 10:00am. It was a 10 minute walk. He patted himself on the back for being early.

He slid on his shoes and stepped out the door, heading for the stairs. As he skipped down them, he put his AirPods in and pressed Jaehyun’s number as he left the building. The air had a chilly bite to it, and he pulled his hood over his hat as it rang in his ears.

“Morning, Johnny,” he greeted, sounding much less tired than Johnny felt.

“Morning,” he answered gruffly.

Jaehyun chuckled. “You called me, why do you sound like I disturbed you.”

“Having a bad morning,” was all he said. His damp hair was numbing his skull even through his hat and hood. He was cold.

“Why? It’s only the first day,” Jaehyun replied. The cheery lilt in his voice was making Johnny even grumpier. 

“Just am.” He didn’t want to talk about Taeil ignoring him all weekend, or waking up in an empty apartment. “When’s your first class today?” he said instead.

“Noon. Are we getting lunch?”

“I have classes at 10 and 2,” Johnny groaned. “I might just get coffee and something from the vending machine. We’ve got welcome basketball practice at 4.”

Jaehyun hummed. “Mark told me. I’ll stick around for that, then we can all get dinner afterwards.” 

“Sounds good,” Johnny agreed, “see you then.”

“Have a good class!” Jaehyun said. Johnny mumbled a ‘you, too’ before hanging up.

He put his AirPods back in their case as he continued towards campus, already mixing with the swarm of students heading in the same direction. He had his finance class in the mornings, and he’d been dreading it since he picked his classes. He just needed to survive the lecture, his international studies class in the afternoon would be better. He could do it.

He slipped his hood off as he entered the lecture hall, pleasantly warm compared to outside. He settled in a seat near the back, set his laptop on the too-small desk, and tried not to doze off as the professor began their lecture.

  
  


\--------------------

  
  


“Shit, I forgot my headband.” Mark dug around in his bag on the bench. “Anyone have an extra?”

“Here,” Jungwoo tossed him one from his locker, leaning against it with one shoulder. 

Mark shot him a grateful look and slid the headband over his forehead, pushing his hair out of his face. He leaned down to tie his shoes quickly as their other team members began leaving the locker room.

Johnny stood in front of the mirror, his shirt sleeves pushed up over his shoulder and running a hand over his biceps. “I knew I was out of shape, but this,” he pinched the skin around his arm, “is just disgraceful.”

Jungwoo scoffed, rolling his eyes at him. “You’re the strongest guy on the team, Johnny. Even if you gained a little weight, which you _didn’t_ , it’s extra fuel. I’d kill to have arms like yours.” 

Johnny chuckled lightly, letting go of his arm to flash Jungwoo a smile. Mark looked up from his shoes at the exchange.

“Funny, because you can work out all you want, but I can’t do anything about being a head shorter than both of you,” Mark retorted, and they both turned to him with a smile.

“I like your height,” Jungwoo patted his head. “Ready to go?” 

Mark nodded as he tightened his double knot. Johnny and Jungwoo started walking towards the exit, and Mark hopped up to follow as they walked to the gym.

It was the first practice of the season, so they circled around to do basic introductions before breaking into warm up drills. The gym was empty except for the team, and the air was a little stale from the summer holidays, but Johnny felt at home. It felt good to have a basketball back in his hands, his stresses melting away with his sweat.

They messed around for a bit after warm ups, playing one on one to get a feel for their ball handling and shooting forms again. Eventually they were split into groups, dividing the new freshman among the other returning players to get to know each other.

Towards the end of practice, Johnny and Jungwoo took a water break and sat down on the bleachers to catch their breath. Mark was teaching a freshman the basic plays they used in games.

“I shouldn’t have given him my headband,” Jungwoo panted, attempting to wipe his hair off of his sweaty forehead, but it stuck together in clumps. He patted at it with his shirt sleeve, but it made no difference.

Johnny chuckled, taking another drink from his water bottle as he stretched his calves out in front of him. It had been months since he’d done this much cardio, and he was going to be sore in the morning.

Just as they were about to get up and rejoin the team, the gym door opened and someone slipped into the gym. He stood by the door for a second, surveying the court, before his eyes landed on Johnny. He walked over with a warm smile.

“Hey, we’re practicing right now,” Johnny said as he approached. “If you need to use it, we’ll be finished in 10 minutes or so.”

The man stopped in front of them, dressed in skinny jeans and chunky shoes. He didn’t look like he was there for the gym.

“Wait,” Jungwoo said next to him, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’ve seen you before… last season?” 

He smiled brightly. “Bingo. I’m a photographer for the school paper.”

“Ah! That’s it, I remember.” Jungwoo looked very proud of himself. “Taeyong, right?”

“Right again,” Taeyong nodded, before looking back to Johnny.

He stared silently for a second. He remembered a photographer showing up to games sometimes, but he didn’t remember Taeyong specifically. He nodded politely anyways, though, and Taeyong seemed satisfied with that.

“It looks like I’ve been assigned to the sports articles again this year, so I came to see if I could get a season schedule,” Taeyong told them.

“I don’t even have a season schedule yet,” Johnny laughed, leaning back to rest his elbows on the row behind them.

“You could ask Coach, but I don’t know how helpful he’ll be,” Jungwoo offered, pointing to where he stood on the other side of the gym.

Taeyong turned to look, but didn’t move. Instead, he took a seat next to Johnny on the bleachers. “I’ll just wait for you guys to finish first.”

They all sat in silence for a few moments, watching the team. Taeyong tucked his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, limbs almost invisible in the oversized material. Beside him, Johnny could pick out thin, faded blue streaks in his otherwise black hair. He watched him out of the corner of his eye, trying to place him at any of their games last year.

On his other side, Jungwoo leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he dried his forehead as best he could. He tapped Johnny's arm, pulling his attention away.

"We should probably get back to practice," he mumbled. Johnny groaned, but stood up anyways.

"How did we do this three times a week last year, and now I can barely get through one," he complained. Taeyong giggled quietly, watching them stand up and stretch again.

"See you later, Taeyong," Jungwoo said to him with a little wave. He waved back, and smiled politely at Johnny.

Johnny returned the smile silently before turning around to walk onto the court. They jumped into a layup drill, running through it a few times before breaking apart to do cool-down stretches again. Taeyong watched from the bleachers, and Johnny caught his gaze a few times accidentally.

Suddenly, an image of a huge camera hiding a flaming head of red hair popped into his mind. He smiled to himself, jogging over to the bleachers. Taeyong watched him with curious eyes.

"Your hair was dyed red last year," he panted, stopping in front of him. Taeyong's neck strained to look up at him, but he grinned.

"Yeah, it was," he agreed, running a hand through the black strands. When it flopped back down, Johnny saw more blue streaks hidden in the layers.

"That's why I didn't remember you," he said, and Taeyong nodded.

"Makes sense, it's a big change. I was tired of the red, so I went for a more 'mature' look." He made air quotes around the word, and Johnny smiled.

"Looks nice," he said softly. Taeyong dropped his gaze as his cheeks warmed slightly.

"Thanks," he replied.

"Johnny!" someone called to him. He turned to see Mark, Jungwoo, and the team circling up.

He turned back to Taeyong, who had also looked up at his name being called. He was already waving a hand at him to go, a faint smile on his lips.

Johnny jogged back to the team, slinging an arm around Mark's waist as they leaned in and cheered for a good first practice. "See you on Wednesday," he heard the coach call, but they were already halfway to the locker rooms. The boys filtered into the hallway, dispersing among the showers and aisles of lockers.

Once they had all showered and changed back into their clothes, they sat back against the lockers, exhausted. Jungwoo rubbed at his wet hair with a towel, and Mark scrolled through his phone beside him, showing Jungwoo any funny videos he found on his feed.

"Do you remember Taeyong's red hair?" Johnny asked suddenly, and Jungwoo looked up at where he sat across from them.

"He had red hair?" he asked.

"Yeah, bright red. I asked him about it. That's why I didn't recognize him immediately," Johnny said.

Jungwoo looked confused for a moment, but then his eyes lit up. "You're right! It was kind of intimidating, too. He looks a lot... smaller now."

Johnny nodded mindlessly, staring at the floor. "I like it black, though. There's little blue streaks, it's nice."

Jungwoo hummed in agreement. Mark laughed at something on his phone, turning it to show him again, and they giggled together.

"Didn't Jaehyun say he would come eat with us after practice?" Mark asked Johnny, eyes still on his phone.

Johnny looked up at them. He had forgotten about Jaehyun. "Yeah, I think so," he said slowly, reaching for his phone to call him. When he picked it up, there was a text waiting for him already.

**Jaehyun [6:07pm]**  
u guys done yet? waiting in the gym

"Oh, he texted," Johnny told them. "He's waiting in the gym."

"Let's go, I'm hungry," Jungwoo declared, standing up to grab his bag. When Mark didn't follow, he grabbed his arm and dragged him off the bench. He groaned, but eventually gave in, putting his phone away and standing.

**Johnny [6:14pm]**  
coming out now

He sent the text and quickly followed the two boys out of the locker room. When they stepped back into the gym, he saw Jaehyun standing by the door with someone else.

"Taeyong? You're still here?" Jungwoo called out as they approached, and they both turned to look.

"He was here when I came in, so he waited with me," Jaehyun said to him. "And hi to you, too, Jungwoo," he teased, earning a chuckle.

"It was no problem," Taeyong smiled. "We talked a few times at games last year, so I just said hi. He said he was waiting for you guys."

"We're going to get some dinner," Jungwoo said. "Do you wanna come?"

His offer surprised Johnny, and he raised his eyebrows slightly. Taeyong looked just as surprised as him.

"Oh, that's okay, really," he rushed, taking a half step back from their little circle. "You guys go ahead. I've still got work to do for the paper."

"But it's past 6," Jaehyun frowned. "Surely you can leave it for tomorrow."

Taeyong seemed to contemplate it for a moment, looking around at the four boys, but he eventually shook his head. "I don't want to get behind on the first day," he said, forcing a smile.

"If you're sure," Jungwoo said slowly, giving him another chance, but Taeyong held strong.

He waved as he stepped back to head towards the door. "I'll see you at the next game! If I manage to get a schedule."

They chuckled lightly as they said goodbye, watching him push through the heavy double doors and disappear into the hallway.

“Didn’t he have red hair last year?” Jaehyun said after the door slammed shut.

“Yes!” Johnny exclaimed, and the others nodded. “I almost didn’t recognize him earlier with the new color.”

“It suits him,” Jaehyun commented. Johnny nodded.

“Can we go eat now?” Mark asked, a slight whine in his voice. 

Johnny smiled, and let him lead the way out of the gym. Jungwoo threw an arm around his shoulders as they strolled down the hallway, talking about what they were going to get for dinner. Jaehyun and Johnny fell into step behind them.

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


Johnny got home around 8:30pm, exhausted from practice and stuffed full from dinner. The weather was getting colder as the days grew shorter, and he made a mental note to bring a warmer jacket the next day instead of just a hoodie.

He punched the door code in and stepped into the apartment, kicking his shoes off and shivering as he headed to his room to put on warmer pants. When he entered the living room, however, he found Taeil sitting on the couch.

“Oh, hey,” he said as he walked further into the room.

He must’ve heard Johnny unlock and open the door, but Taeil glanced up as though he hadn’t. “Hello,” he replied, looking him up and down before turning back to the textbook in his lap.

Johnny grit his teeth. “Are you studying?” he asked, as nicely as he could muster.

“Yes.”

Johnny wanted to throw his hands in the air, give up and walk away. It was like talking to a brick wall, and the way Taeil looked him over made his skin prickle.

He took a deep breath, and when Taeil didn’t bother to acknowledge him, he stalked towards his bedroom. Halfway there, he paused, a question sitting on his tongue.

“Where did you go so early this morning?” he asked Taeil, not even turning to look at him. 

He heard him shuffle slightly, before he said, “I told you. I work.”

Oh. He had told him that. Johnny felt embarrassment creeping up his neck.

“Your job starts before 8am?” he questioned further, because it really didn’t make sense to him. “You work at a convenience store or something?” 

A pause, and then the snap of a textbook being closed. Johnny finally turned to see him setting the book on the table and getting up. Their gazes met, and he felt the frustration he gripped so tightly disintegrate a little. 

“I work at a kindergarten,” he said softly. “Some kids get dropped off earlier because their parents work full-time. I like to get there around 7:45 so I can prepare something to keep them entertained until the other kids arrive.”

Johnny listened as he explained, and instantly felt guilty. He whispered, “oh,” and Taeil held his gaze steadily for a moment, before walking closer.

Johnny held his breath as he approached, close enough to reach out and touch him. He stood, frozen in the hallway, and watched as Taeil got closer, closer, and then walked right past him.

His eyes followed as Taeil’s fluffy head went right under his nose, the same faint shampoo smell from the morning hitting him again like a revengeful slap in the face. His shoulder grazed Johnny’s as he passed by, but he just continued on.

When he reached his door at the end of the hall, Johnny still hadn’t moved an inch. He opened it, light flooding out, and then turned around to glance at him again.

“I’m going to bed now,” he said, voice hushed as though it was 3am, not almost 9pm. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

Johnny opened his mouth to reply, but he had already slipped into his room, door shutting gently behind him. The hallway was dark again, and he stared ahead, trying to process what had just happened.

After a moment, he realized he didn’t want to be in the hallway in case Taeil came out again, so he ducked into his own room quickly. He flipped the lights on, dropped his bag on the floor and flung himself on the bed. He stared at the ceiling, running over the last ten minutes in his head.

He had come home, at a normal time, completely sober, not causing any problems. Taeil had basically pretended he wasn’t there for as long as he could until he was forced to respond to Johnny, and then, somehow, Johnny became the bad guy? He had said all of two sentences and still managed to make Taeil dislike him more than he already did. _Impressive_.

He groaned out loud, closing his eyes to drag a hand down his entire face and rub into his temples. After a moment, he stretched to fish his phone out of his pocket.

**Johnny [8:58pm]**  
i may need to reconsider your couch offer. even with doyoung

The typing bubble appeared almost immediately.

**Jaehyun [8:59pm]**  
???? what happened

**Johnny [9:01pm]**  
not much, just feel like i’m digging my own grave every day  
i’m nice, he ignores me  
i’m mean, he ignores me but somehow makes me feel bad for being mean

**Jaehyun [9:01pm]**  
damn  
i still think he’s cute tho

Johnny rolled his eyes, exhaling a short laugh.

**Johnny [9:02pm]**  
ur useless

**Jaehyun [9:03pm]**  
u love me tho

**Johnny [9:04pm]**  
…  
doesn’t make u any less useless

**Jaehyun [9:04pm]**  
❤️

Johnny stifled a chuckle as he shut his screen off and dropped his phone onto the bed next to him. He stared at the ceiling, trying to picture Taeil working as a kindergarten teacher. Taeil playing with kids, Taeil giggling with kids, Taeil giggling in general. He came up empty.

As he laid there, he suddenly became aware of a faint noise from the hall. He debated for a second, listening quietly. His stomach tensed a little at the thought of eavesdropping on his private conversations, but his curiosity won over. He rolled off the bed and walked to the closed door, twisting the handle slowly and cracking it open without a sound.

Distant shuffling, footsteps, pacing. Muffled words, voices. Two? Johnny opened the door a little wider, positioning his ear into the hallway to try and pick up more of the words.

Taeil was whispering, voice low and very clearly trying to be quiet. Johnny thought he was talking to himself until he realized he was calling someone, pausing every so often to listen and whisper back. He put a hesitant foot into the hallway, craning his neck as far as it could reach. 

Suddenly, the pacing stopped. Johnny nearly slammed the door shut, yanking his foot in and stopping only a half second early so that it wouldn’t be heard, before stumbling back a few steps. He had an unexplainable feeling that Taeil would check on him and that he would be caught like a child with their phone after bedtime. No matter how much he tried to shake it off, he still crawled into bed to wait for a few minutes. 

Taeil did not come knocking on his door, and the apartment was dead silent again. Once he had deemed it safe, he ventured out from his room to brush his teeth, tiptoeing down the dark hallway. Taeil’s light was off, and his room looked normal. 

Slightly unsettled, Johnny quickly brushed his teeth and went back to his room. He didn’t usually sleep until much later, but the silence hung so heavy that he couldn’t make himself disrupt it, so he changed into pyjamas and got in bed. Maybe if he slept a little earlier, he’d catch Taeil in the morning.

  
  


\-------------------

  
  


Johnny only snoozed one alarm the next morning and still, the apartment was empty when he came out of his room.

He went about his morning routine, washing away the peppermint smell that always lingered in the bathroom when he came in. He brushed his teeth and got dressed before getting ready to leave. When he walked into the living room to grab his thicker coat from the closet, a bright-colored piece of paper caught his eye in the kitchen.

He walked closer to investigate. There was a green sticky note stuck to the fridge, a message scrawled across it in small, neat letters. He couldn’t help the smile that appeared at the small gesture as he wondered what Taeil could’ve written. Have a good day? Sorry for being mean last night? I’ll work harder to not be so unreasonably cold and-

Johnny ripped the sticky note off the fridge to read it again close up. No, it still said the same thing.

_You should buy some food. I hope you aren’t taking any from my shelf._

He scoffed, looking around the kitchen like it was some sort of prank cam. Accused of stealing food? Like this was an office break room and not his own apartment? He crumpled the sticky note in his palm and flung it onto the countertop before opening the fridge.

It was perfectly organized, and Johnny laughed bitterly even though he expected no less. He had vegetables in one drawer, meat in another, and a shelf full of tupperware. He picked around at them, moving one that looked like soup to find another cooked vegetable dish behind it. It was enough food for the entire week, all lined up and pre-prepared.

One empty shelf sat at the top of the fridge, presumably for him. He stared at it for a second, the spotless shelf in contrast to the others, and shut the door again.

He could buy some food. Sure.

  
  


\------------------------

  
  


“What are you going to do with a single carrot, Johnny?”

Johnny tossed the carrot in his basket and kept walking, ignoring Jaehyun. “I don’t know, eat it?”

Jaehyun scowled at his remark, following behind as Johnny strolled aimlessly down the produce aisle, grabbing various vegetables without a second thought. He raked a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath as he headed off down the next aisle.

“When you go food shopping, you need to like, have a plan,” Jaehyun tried from behind him, to no avail. “You can’t just buy whatever you want, especially if you’ve never cooked in your life.” 

“When did you become a master chef, huh?” He grabbed a spring onion, holding it up for a second before tossing it in the growing pile and moving on to the fruit section.

Jaehyun groaned with every added item. “That’s just common sense, please stop adding things,” he whined, sounding genuinely pained.

“Fine,” Johnny grumbled, setting a single banana on top and stepping back. “My basket was getting heavy anyways.”

Jaehyun looked at his basket and back at him, defeated. “Honestly, I can’t believe you’re doing this just to spite him.” 

“Not _just_ to spite him,” Johnny corrected dryly, “also because I’m over budget this month and I can’t eat out anymore.”

“Johnny, you can’t eat any of this!” Jaehyun cried, exasperated. “What are you going to make with a carrot, a banana, a spring onion and strawberry milk?”

Johnny hid his basket behind his back and made a face. “I wasn’t going to put the strawberry milk in it, idiot.”

Jaehyun dropped his head with a groan. “That’s not- whatever. Go for it, see if Taeil even blinks an eye.”

Johnny glared at him and stomped off down the aisle, grabbing a sweet potato just to hear Jaehyun wail in frustration behind him.

“Do you enjoy causing others emotional pain? The thought of you trying to make dinner with this is giving me more stress than college ever did.”

Johnny’s aggressive pace slowed, and Jaehyun caught up to him. He glanced over the dairy section, not really looking at anything.

“Last night, after I went to bed,” Johnny said abruptly, staring at the butter selection, “I could hear him pacing in his room. He was on the phone with somebody, whispering.” 

Jaehyun gave him a funny look. “You were eavesdropping on him in the middle of the night?” 

“It was like 9pm, and it wasn’t exactly eavesdropping,” he defended. “I didn’t leave my room, I just… poked my head out, a little bit.” 

Jaehyun shrugged, clearly not very concerned. “What was he talking about?”

“I don’t know, it was muffled,” he answered. “He sounded stressed, almost, and then all the sudden he stopped and went quiet.”

“Hm, weird,” Jaehyun replied. “But what does that have to do with your nightmare food basket?”

Johnny looked at the basket, and then at Jaehyun, and back at the basket, and sighed. “I’m just tired of him disliking me for no reason.” 

“So you’re trying to… give him a reason?” Jaehyun questioned.

Johnny thought it over. “Sounds dumb when you say it like that.”

Jaehyun exhaled a sharp laugh. “First, you’re insane,” he stated, and Johnny rolled his eyes. “Second, instead of that, why don’t you try and give him a reason to like you?”

“I have! I do everything right. I don’t get it,” he complained, slouching his shoulders with a frown.

“Okay, then just keep doing that.” Jaehyun reached forward to ease the basket out of his hands carefully. “He’ll come around. Don’t push him.” 

Johnny let his grip loosen, watching Jaehyun take it and hold it away from his body like it was toxic waste. He felt childish, but he was desperate for Taeil to just acknowledge his presence. To look at him like he was his roommate, not a mangy stray he’d found in a cardboard box and couldn’t turn down. 

“I’m just going to get some things for you to make stir fry, wait here,” Jaehyun told him, motioning for him to stay still as he backed up to run back to the produce section. Johnny obeyed, feeling defeated and tired. He’d only had two classes that day and no practice, but the dinner scheming had sucked up all his energy.

When Jaehyun returned, he had a few more vegetables and some chicken breast. Johnny eyed it curiously as he handed the basket back to him.

“I left out spices, I’m sure Taeil will let you borrow his,” he said, watching Johnny dig around. “I left the strawberry milk for you.”

He stopped digging, offering a small, apologetic smile. Jaehyun put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll text you some easy instructions. Call me if you need help and don’t want to ask him, or I can just come over and-”

“It’s okay,” Johnny interrupted him, “I’ll figure it out.” 

Jaehyun looked unconvinced, but he gave him a gentle pat before dropping his hand again. They started walking to the check out.

“Thanks, Jae,” Johnny muttered, even if he was still a little grumpy. Jaehyun just chuckled at him.

“Please don’t burn your kitchen down.”

  
  


\-------------------------

  
  


Johnny was hit with the smell of peppermint when he got home that evening, stronger than the shampoo in the bathroom. Taeil was in the living room, but didn’t look up when he kicked his shoes off and walked in. He had a cup of tea on the coffee table, and Johnny wondered what his obsession with peppermint was about, but he held his tongue, glancing at him with his textbook in his lap, and prepared himself for another silent evening.

He made his way into the kitchen. If Taeil had cooked something that evening, he left no trace. The stove was cold, the sink was empty, the countertops were wiped down and bare. The crumpled sticky note was gone. Johnny set his bag down to open the fridge.

“Did you get some food?” he heard Taeil call from the living room. So they were talking again. 

“Yeah, some,” he answered, looking at his empty shelf.

“What?”

Taeil’s voice was suddenly right behind him, and he spun around. He was leaning against the island, watching him attentively as Johnny stared back, startled.

“What?” Johnny repeated back to him, more questioning.

Taeil pointed to his bag. “What food did you get.”

“Oh,” Johnny rushed, fumbling to set it on the counter. “Just a few things.”

He didn’t actually know what Jaehyun had put in his bag. He reached in and pulled out carrots, broccoli, red peppers, green onion, and chicken.

“Stir fry?” Taeil asked him, and Johnny nodded, turning to put it onto his shelf. “Do you cook often?” he continued, sitting down on a barstool.

Johnny wanted to laugh. He’d been complaining about Taeil ignoring him, and now when he didn’t, he felt like he was being inspected, pinned down under a spotlight. He tried to swallow the prickly feeling of self-consciousness as he kept his eyes on the groceries.

“Not really,” he answered honestly.

“At all?”

Johnny chuckled, but eventually turned and shook his head. Taeil’s lips curved slightly, and Johnny ducked his head again.

“I wondered why you hadn’t put any food in the fridge,” he said softly. It was much less accusatory than his sticky note in the morning, and Johnny wondered for as second if he’d just interpreted it wrong. Maybe Taeil was just awful at conveying sarcasm through writing. Or in general.

“I wasn’t stealing from you,” he said, stepping back to lean against the counter and meet his gaze. “I eat out mostly, and drink a lot of coffee.”

Taeil looked a little guilty, eyes soft. “I know you weren’t. I would’ve been able to tell, anyways,” he said, as though it explained why he’d suggested that earlier.

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head slightly. “So, why did you…”

“Sorry,” was all he mumbled, but it was the most apologetic Taeil had sounded about anything thus far, and so Johnny accepted it. 

“I get it,” he replied. “No worries.”

Taeil looked up a little at that, and Johnny went back to putting the last of his groceries away. They sat in silence for a bit, but it was more comfortable than before. Taeil watched him quietly, attention focused, and Johnny felt actually seen for the first time since he’d moved in. 

“Are you going to cook that tonight?” Taeil asked him. Johnny looked at the shelf of vegetables, debated about how hungry he was, and after a long pause, shook his head.

“Maybe tomorrow,” he said, taking the strawberry milk carton out to drink instead.

“That’s your dinner?” Taeil sounded concerned, and Johnny shrugged, drinking half of it in one go. 

“I think you’d pass out if you saw what I eat most days,” Johnny joked, but Taeil looked genuinely distressed, and he rushed to clarify. “I mean, it’s not that bad. Just a lot of coffee and fruit snacks,” he backtracked, but it wasn’t helping.

Taeil’s mouth hung open a little, like he was struggling to put together a response, and Johnny smiled sheepishly. He wasn’t expecting Taeil to even care about his eating habits, or much less feel bad about them.

“Don’t actually pass out, I was kidding,” he held his hands out cautiously, and Taeil seemed to realize how he’d reacted, closing his hanging jaw and swallowing dryly.

He coughed to clear his throat, his cheeks faintly pink. “Sorry, I was just surprised. I’ve been cooking for myself since I was a kid.”

“A kid?” Johnny asked, surprise evident in his voice. “Like, a little kid?”

“Thirteen.”

It was Johnny’s turn for his mouth to fall open, eyebrows arched almost comically. “Thirteen? I couldn’t even make my own bed at thirteen,” he admitted. Taeil smiled, but it seemed more forced than earlier, more like the first day they’d met.

“I started doing most things by myself around then,” Taeil continued, looking down at his hands in his lap, picking at his nails.

“Your mom wasn’t around?” Johnny asked. “My mom worked until I was 9, but when she had my little brother she decided to stay at home, so she cooked more and stuff.” He had vague memories of his mother being gone during the day as a child, but he couldn’t deny she did a lot of things he should’ve picked up as he got older.

Taeil nodded along as though he agreed, but quietly said, “She was. She didn’t work.” Johnny watched him fiddle with his hands, waiting for him to say more, but nothing came.

“So, you just wanted to do things yourself? For fun?” he asked, picturing little, school-aged Taeil trying to make dinner and not being able to reach the top shelf of the fridge. He chuckled to himself, until he looked up and saw Taeil scooting his chair out from the bar.

“I think I’m going to go to bed now,” he told Johnny, standing up and pushing the chair back in line with the others. He chewed on his bottom lip, avoiding Johnny’s stare.

“Bed? Right now?” Johnny questioned, pointing at the clock on the oven. It wasn’t even 8:30pm.

That seemed to fluster him, and he stepped back from the kitchen. “I haven’t finished my reading for the night, so I should do that first,” he got out, turning to grab his discarded textbook from the couch.

Johnny watched him flee the living room without another word, only turning once he’d reached the hallway safely to call, “Goodnight, Johnny,” over his shoulder. He stood, stunned, leaning against the counter and staring at the empty chair across from him.

Johnny felt like he’d been slapped across the face. They were finally getting along a little, having a normal conversation, interacting with each other, and then Taeil slammed the door on his toes. No matter what he did, he always seemed to overstep somehow. He just couldn’t figure Taeil out.

It didn’t help that Taeil gave him no guidance on where he was overstepping. He was building a house of cards and one wrong move sent the whole thing tumbling. 

His mind tried to come up with an explanation, but he got nowhere. Taeil was a puzzle he felt like he was missing pieces to, and he was frustrated by it. The difference he was starting to notice, however, was that a week ago he had no interest in solving it, but now he was determined to fit every last piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed or would like to yell about them being awkward idiots :)


	4. Hold The Prawns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys meet Taeil in non-ideal circumstances, and Johnny tries to apologize with his favourite comfort food, except it doesn't bring him much comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, I started classes this week and it's been a little stressful. But it's here, and it's a little longer than usual! No tag or rating changes for today :)

The next week crawled by devilishly slow, just an endless cycle of lectures, practices, and library study sessions. Johnny found himself already tired of his classes before he could even bother to open the textbooks, and it was difficult to get back into the routine he had last year. Plus, he wasn’t a freshman anymore, so his classes were harder, and his professors less sympathetic.

“I only turned it in like 4 minutes late!” he groaned, shoving his laptop out of the way to lay his head on his arm.

Jaehyun giggled from his seat across from him. “It’s like 2% of your grade. Forget about it.”

Johnny threw a mini fit on the table before finally pulling his head back up, glancing at the huge, red OVERTIME on his submission receipt. The first quiz of the semester, and he’d mistakenly left it right until the last minute, and it was harder than he expected.

“I’m gonna email him,” he declared. “I’ll say my wifi was bad or something.” 

“He’s not gonna care, John,” Jungwoo spoke up, laughing at the glare Johnny shot him. “They don’t even read emails with late in the subject,” he continued, focusing back on his laptop.

“Second year,” Jaehyun concluded with a shrug, leaning over his notes again. 

“Second year sucks,” Johnny hissed back, but neither of them looked up.

He rolled his eyes, closing the email draft to his professor with an aggressive mouse click, and sat back in his chair. They went to the library most days, because it was close to the sports complex and they could easily claim a group study pod in the afternoons before practice. They usually picked the same one, so it became the assumed meeting spot whenever they weren’t in class.

Mark had a class, so it was just the three of them. Jungwoo and Jaehyun were hard at work, earbuds in and scribbling away in notebooks, but Johnny couldn’t focus on anything. He twirled a pen in his finger, glancing at the other pods around them as he leaned his chair back on two legs, gambling with how far he could tip it before he ended up on the ground. 

Suddenly, Jaehyun smacked a hand on his twirling wrist, wrestling the pen onto the table. Johnny was about to protest, eyebrows raised in surprise, but Jaehyun gave him a look.

“Can’t focus with you sitting here messing around,” he scolded, letting Johnny yank the pen back with a huff. 

“Fine, sorry,” Johnny mumbled, glancing back at his empty notebook page reluctantly. 

He set his chair flat on the ground and clicked the pen out to finally scrawl a date across the top of the paper. He clicked it in and out reflexively, a fidgeting habit when he didn’t know where to begin, and Jaehyun shot daggers with his eyes.

Johnny caved, holding up his hands in surrender and sighing. He dropped the pen onto the table again, giving up with processing any of the words on the lecture slide. Jaehyun watched him out of the corner of his eye, debating putting his earbud back in and ignoring him. When Johnny’s face settled into a permanent frown, he paused the music and set down his earbuds.

“What’s up, John?” he asked, tone soft compared to his earlier scolding.

Johnny looked up at him, slumping back in his chair. “Just can’t focus right now. I don’t know.”

“How are things at home?”

He chuckled dryly. “You sound like a divorce counsellor. If I was eight years old.”

Jaehyun exhaled a short laugh, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin on a closed fist. “How’s Taeil?” he continued.

“I wish I could tell you.” His voice was bitter, but he was still frowning. “He was gone all weekend, and didn’t say where. He didn’t even tell me when he left. I thought he’d died in his sleep and was rotting away in there all of Saturday until I dared to poke my head in.”

Jaehyun listened attentively, and Jungwoo had taken one earbud out to see what was going on as well. They both wore the same expression, confusion mixed with sympathy.

“Did you see him when he got back?” Jungwoo asked, setting his pen down to lean back against the chair.

“I heard him come in late on Sunday,” Johnny answered. “Well, late for him. It was like 8pm. I didn’t come out because I was mad he didn’t tell me before he left.”

“So you don’t know where he was,” Jaehyun said. “Maybe he was visiting his parents or something.”

“I don’t care where he went, I just wish he would’ve said something first,” Johnny grumbled, picking up his pen to fidget with it again.

Jaehyun and Jungwoo exchanged a look, and then Jungwoo turned back to Johnny.

“I get it. I’d eat all of Mark’s secret snack stash if he disappeared without telling me,” Jungwoo offered lightly. “But then again, he texts me when he leaves to go to the convenience store down the street, so he’d never do that. One time he even brought back my favorite candy when I-”

Jaehyun kicked his leg under the table, and he yelped. He cupped a hand over his lips to turn and hiss, “ _You’re not helping_.” 

Jungwoo turned sheepishly to see Johnny looking even more upset than before. He swallowed, looking back at Jaehyun and mimicked zipping his lips shut. Jaehyun rolled his eyes at him before turning to Johnny again.

“Maybe you should tell him that it made you upset,” he suggested.

“I guess,” Johnny muttered. “I just don’t get why he wouldn’t tell me in the first place. Is that such a crazy thing to expect?” 

“I’m sure it’s not personal, he just isn’t used to having you around yet.”

Johnny looked up at him, pausing his spinning fingers. “He wouldn’t tell Yuta that stuff?”

Jaehyun didn’t answer. Jungwoo glanced between them both, an uneasy silence settling even though they were the loudest ones on the floor.

He cleared his throat, sitting up as they both looked over. “I still haven’t met him yet,” he announced. “Let’s go over tonight, when Mark is out of class. I want to see if he’s as weird as you make him out to be.”

Johnny shrugged. “Sure. I’m not exaggerating, though.”

“I believe you,” he answered, offering a small smile. Johnny returned it, and Jungwoo reached over to pat his arm comfortingly. “Maybe you just have to be a little more straightforward with him, you know,” he said casually. “If something upsets you, tell him.”

Jaehyun nodded in agreement, raising an eyebrow at Jungwoo with a chuckle. “I guess you do have some brain cells,” he teased. “Sometimes.”

Jungwoo stuck his tongue out at him. “When I want to,” he bit back with the same level of sarcasm. 

Johnny laughed lightly, watching them bicker, and they both flashed him a smile.

“When Mark comes back,” Jungwoo waved towards the library entrance lazily, “we can get some food and bring it back to yours.” 

They nodded, Jaehyun already picking up his earbuds to put them back in. “Until then, I need to finish these notes,” he said, focusing back on his laptop.

Jungwoo did the same, and Johnny, left with nothing to entertain himself, looked at his empty page dreadingly. He picked up his pen, turning on his screen again and took a deep breath. With one last look at the two focused on their work, he leaned over his notebook to write down the first section header. 

  
  


\-------------------

  
  


As soon as Mark arrived, Johnny begged that they be done for the day. It was barely 5, but they didn’t argue with him, and packed their bags up to leave. On the way out, Jungwoo explained their plan to Mark.

“We finally get to meet Taeil?” Mark asked as they pushed through the library doors.

Johnny, falling in step behind them, chuckled at his enthusiasm. “If he’s even there,” he muttered quietly.

Jaehyun heard him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and matching his pace. “Did you make your stir fry yet?” he asked him, Mark and Jungwoo lost in their own conversation. 

“No,” he lied. He had hoped to make it over the weekend to break the ice with Taeil, but with him gone unexpectedly, he’d been left to figure it out himself. He googled a recipe, but still somehow managed to over-season and under-cook it, in fear of actually burning the kitchen down. He’d tossed the soggy, half raw vegetables before they even made it onto a plate.

Jaehyun pulled back to look at him, hand gripping his shoulder gently. Johnny felt his cheeks redden under his gaze, and he ducked his head. 

Jaehyun chuckled, looking forward again and giving the junction of his neck and shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You ruined it, didn’t you?”

Johnny groaned. This was the downside of Jaehyun knowing him so well. “Don’t wanna talk about it,” he begged.

Jaehyun nodded, guiding them along behind Mark and Jungwoo as Johnny stared at their moving feet. “If you want, I can get the stuff and we can make it together at mine later. It’s a little tricky to do by yourself.”

Johnny knew he was lying to make him feel better, but he appreciated the gesture anyways. “Thanks, Jae,” he said to the concrete, and felt the hand on his shoulder squeeze gently again. 

“It’s nothing,” he replied, and Johnny smiled to himself.

Ahead of them, Jungwoo and Mark had already stepped into their favorite Chinese takeout place. They followed them inside, enjoying the familiar warmth of the establishment and the busy tables of chattering customers. They knew their order without needing a menu, so they just stepped up to the register to pay before moving to the side to wait. 

“What are we watching tonight?” Jaehyun asked the group, leaning against the wall with one shoulder.

“We were gonna watch this movie I found yesterday,” Mark said, and Jungwoo nodded. “We could watch that?”

“We’ve also got a list of about 500 others, if we don’t like that one,” Jungwoo continued for him, and they laughed.

“I’m sure we’ll find something,” Johnny said, kicking at the ground with the tip of his shoe.

“You could ask Taeil if he’d like to join us,” Jaehyun suggested, but Johnny was already pulling a face halfway through his sentence.

“He would never,” was all he said, ignoring the glances exchanged over his head. “Plus, he goes to bed at like 9, anyways.”

They were silent for a moment, before Jaehyun finally said, “Asking won’t hurt, John.”

Johnny was going to argue, but their order was brought out to them, and Jungwoo accepted it with a quick dip of his head. He was out the door before they could even turn around, Mark right on his tail. 

It took about 3 minutes for them to realize they had no idea where they were going, so they slowed to let Johnny and Jaehyun catch up. It was only a short walk to his apartment, and they were walking down the hall to his door in less than 10 minutes.

He punched the code in, opening it wide to step in and let them in behind him. “Hi, Taeil, we’re-” he started to call, half-expecting an empty apartment again, but a familiar scent hit his nose, and he looked up.

Taeil stood a few feet away, textbook discarded on the couch and blanket thrown to the side, slipping slowly over the edge. He had plaid pyjama pants on, the bottoms catching on the floor slightly, and his fingertips poked out of his hoodie sleeves. He smiled warmly at Johnny, until he realized he wasn’t alone.

“Uh, hey,” Johnny tried again, kicking his shoes off without glancing down. Taeil’s face shifted so quickly that he almost thought he’d imagined the smile.

“Hi Taeil!” Jungwoo called from somewhere behind him, and Johnny realized he was blocking the way for the rest of them to come in. He tore his eyes away to step into the living room, letting them shut the front door and leave their shoes in the entry.

When he turned back to Taeil, any hint of warmth was gone. He watched warily as they hung up their jackets, tucking his hands into his hoodie pocket and shrinking further into it.

“I didn’t expect you to be home,” Johnny said to him, coming out harsher than he’d meant. 

Taeil looked up to meet his gaze, and Johnny felt guilt twist inside him for a split second at the uneasiness in his eyes. He swallowed thickly, reminding himself of the empty apartment, no message, quiet room, alone.

“I got home last night,” Taeil breathed, before dropping his gaze and looking back at the other boys. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing people over,” he said, even quieter.

Johnny wanted to laugh at the blatant hypocrisy, wanted to throw his head back like it was the funniest joke he’d heard all day, but he stared at Taeil for a second, his expression serious as ever, and forced the bubbling frustration down again.

“You didn’t tell me you were leaving for the weekend,” he replied evenly. Mark and Jungwoo had stepped up behind him, standing awkwardly as they watched them exchange hushed words, and Taeil eyed them from a safe distance.

They stood, no one moving, for a moment. Johnny stared at Taeil, Taeil stared at Mark and Jungwoo, and they stared anywhere but him. Finally, Jaehyun stepped in from behind them, and Taeil seemed to recognize him.

“Hi, Taeil,” he said gently, glancing at Johnny hesitantly before stepping closer. “I’m Jaehyun, we met the first day Johnny moved in.”

“I remember,” Taeil answered, not moving to greet him at all. Jaehyun smiled anyways, and tipped his head politely.

“These are our friends, Mark and Jungwoo,” he pointed to each as he introduced them, and they bowed awkwardly. “We’re just going to eat and watch a movie, if that’s okay.”

Taeil glanced at Johnny, like he was looking for confirmation. Johnny just nodded, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Okay,” he finally said, turning around to pick up his textbook and blanket. He gathered it into his arms, standing back from the couch as they followed further in the living room and spread out. 

Jungwoo was the first to sit down, pushing Taeil’s half-empty cup of tea out of the way to set the food on the coffee table. Mark followed along, and they got out the boxes to open them all. 

“Do you want to watch with us?” Jaehyun asked Taeil, who stood by the hallway.

He shook his head quickly, and Johnny didn’t even try to hide his ‘I told you so’ face to Jaehyun.

“I’m okay, thanks. Goodnight,” he said, already moving farther back. He left little room to argue, and his back was turned before Jaehyun could even reply.

“Are you sure? We have enough-”

“Leave him,” Johnny interrupted him, watching Taeil disappear around the corner. “He made up his mind.”

Jaehyun opened his mouth again, but the sound of a closing door shut him down. He groaned, closing his eyes to rub the base of his palm into his forehead. 

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but,” Johnny said with a weak, forced chuckle. He didn’t feel as victorious as he thought he would.

Jaehyun ignored him, collapsing into the couch. “You should’ve told him we were coming,” he said as Johnny sat next to him.

He reached for a plastic fork and a container of noodles. “It wouldn’t have made a difference. He just would’ve been in his room before we got back.”

“Did you see how his expression changed when he saw us? God, Johnny, he looked terrified.” Jaehyun sounded genuinely concerned, and Johnny stuffed a forkful of food into his mouth.

“And that’s my fault why?” he mumbled, mouth full. 

Jaehyun shot him a look before grabbing a container for himself. “You complain all day about how he treats you, but you aren’t any different. Just think about him for once, give him a little sympathy.”

Johnny watched as Mark scrolled through Netflix, trying to find the movie they had wanted to watch. He thought about what Jaehyun said, and how Taeil had looked at him when he’d first walked in the door. Warm, excited, friendly. Like he had waited for him, like he was happy he was home, even if just for a second.

Mark found the movie, pressing play and turning the volume up. He and Jungwoo fought for the corner with the chaise lounge, giggling and swatting at each other, and eventually settled with Mark squishing him into the side of the couch. Jungwoo threw a leg over him because he knew he’d wiggle away, but he stayed put, not giving up his spot.

Beside them, Johnny crossed his feet on the coffee table and Jaehyun tucked one under his other thigh. He seemed content to leave the discussion at that, eating quietly as the movie started.

Johnny chewed the food in his mouth and swallowed. “Fine,” he whispered under his breath. Think about him. Sympathy.

He could be sympathetic. He could show Jaehyun that it made no difference. Gladly.

  
  


\------------------------

  
  


“Well done boys! Great way to start the season!” the coach called into their circle as they threw their hands up with a final cheer. 

As the scattered crowd in the bleachers clapped, the herd of sweaty boys jogged out of the gym and into the locker rooms, slapping each other on the backs as they celebrated their first game, and first win, of the year.

Johnny collapsed onto the bench, panting as he leaned back against the cold metal and wiped the sweat off his forehead and neck. Jungwoo sat next to him, a tired, dopey grin on his face.

“For the first game back, I’d say we played pretty well,” he said to him.

Johnny chuckled, reaching over to pinch his ear. “How humble of you, Woo.”

He stretched to avoid his arm and bumped into Mark on his other side. He proceeded to rub his sweaty head into his shoulder, and Mark shoved him off with a whine.

“Go shower first,” he begged, holding him back at arm’s length as Jungwoo wrestled against him playfully.

He relented after another cry of protest, dragging himself off the bench. “Fine, I’m going, I’m going,” he said, grabbing his bottle of shampoo and a towel from his locker and walking off.

Johnny leaned down to pull a sports drink from his bag, still catching his breath as the cheers died down and the rest of the team got ready to leave. His uniform stuck to his back, and he leaned his elbows on his knees as he poured the drink into his mouth.

Suddenly, someone poked their head around the corner of their row. When his eyes landed on Johnny and Mark, he made his way over to sit down across from them.

“Oh, hey Taeyong,” Mark said first, and Johnny looked up to see him smiling back. Even in the hot gym, he wore a thick hoodie with no complaint. A bucket hat covered his hair, and he had a huge camera in his lap.

“Great game! You guys played well,” Taeyong praised, and Mark grinned shyly. “I got some good photos, too,” he continued, picking up his camera. “I’m a little rusty because it’s been a year, but I’ll show you a few.” 

Mark got up to sit next to Taeyong, looking over his shoulder curiously as he flipped through the photos and flushing when he saw some of himself. Johnny stayed put, watching them giggle at the small screen and continuing to sip his drink. 

When Taeyong found a good one, he turned the camera to stretch across and show Johnny. It was him at the free throw line, eyes focused on the basket as all the other players watched him shoot. It was good, he couldn’t deny, and he flashed an approving smile.

“You’re a great photographer,” he said as Taeyong pulled his camera back, looking closer at the photo he’d shown him.

Mark nodded in agreement, and Taeyong grinned. “Thanks. It’s not hard when I have good models.”

Johnny blinked twice at the comment, but Mark just shoved his shoulder playfully and leaned back to look at more of the photos. He sat quietly until Jungwoo came back, still dripping from the shower, and snatched the drink out of his hand.

Johnny watched as he tipped his chin back, finishing the rest of it in one smooth pour before sticking it back into his open palm with a smug smile.

“Thanks, I was thirsty,” he taunted further, testing his patience. When he dared to reach out and pat Johnny’s head, he took the towel next to him and snapped it against his bare chest, making him yelp and jump away. 

“Brat,” he retorted, earning a giggle from both Mark and Taeyong. He tossed Jungwoo his shirt from the bench, and he caught it from outside of the towel’s radius. 

Taeyong flipped through the rest of his photos before setting it down again and sitting back. “Well, I just wanted to pop in and congratulate you on a great first game. I hope you’ll like the photos.”

“I’m sure they’ll be great,” Jungwoo said, slipping his arms through the shirt sleeves and pulling it down.

Johnny laughed lightly. “Not for your ego,” he teased, watching Jungwoo puff his chest out and flex.

“I don’t need photos to tell me I look good on the court,” he bit back, “I already know I do.”

Mark made a gagging noise and Taeyong laughed next to him, covering his mouth with slender fingers. Jungwoo pretended to be hurt for a few seconds, but his facade crumbled and his chest flattened, laughing along. 

“I need to shower, I’m hungry,” Mark announced when they’d calmed down, standing to grab his towel from his locker and Jungwoo’s shampoo off the bench.

Johnny nodded, following behind, and Taeyong waved to them as he moved to stand up, too.

“I’ll see you guys around,” he said, walking back the way he came as they went the opposite direction.

“Bye, Taeyong! Thanks for coming!” Mark called, and Taeyong smiled as he disappeared around the corner again. 

Mark walked next to Johnny as they headed to the showers. “He’s nice,” he said quietly, and Mark nodded.

“My arm looks good in the compression sleeve,” he replied, and Johnny glanced sideways at him with an eyebrow raised. He was staring at the ground, massaging his shooting arm mindlessly as they walked.

“That’s all you have to say?” He tried to sound serious, but he couldn’t keep his face straight when Mark looked up like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

He threw an arm around his shoulder with a chuckle as Mark’s cheeks reddened. “It’s okay, we all need a confidence boost every once and awhile. Your arm does look good in the sleeve.”

Mark scoffed, but let him keep his arm there. “Says you. Your arm wouldn’t even fit in a sleeve,” he grumbled up at him.

Johnny grinned, ruffling his hair as he let him go to shower. “And there’s my confidence boost for the day. Thanks, Markie.” 

Mark rolled his eyes at him as he stepped into a stall. “I know you were thinking the same thing when Taeyong showed you that photo. You just wanted to hear it.”

“And?” Johnny teased him. “I didn’t even have to ask.”

Mark made a face as he tugged the flimsy, plastic curtain closed, sending a ripple of air against Johnny’s drying skin. He chuckled to himself as he stepped into the next stall to do the same.

\------------------------

Showered and dressed, Johnny left the locker room with Jungwoo and Mark on either side. Jungwoo had slipped a beanie on, but his and Mark’s hair was only toweled dry and stuck up in clumps. He ran his hands through it a few times, but gave up without trying very hard.

“You guys getting food?” he asked the pair as they walked through campus.

“Not tonight,” Jungwoo answered. “My mom brought us some food yesterday, it’s enough for the whole week.”

Mark made an excited noise, and Johnny chuckled. “I miss my mom’s cooking,” he added. “She always made seafood stir fry when it got colder, it’d be perfect for tonight.”

As if on queue, a breeze ruffled their damp hair, and he tugged his jacket closer around him. The sun barely peaked over the school buildings, and the shadows they cast were cold to walk through.

“You could ask Taeil to make it,” Mark suggested hesitantly, wary of Johnny’s reaction. “Just a thought, you know,” he continued before he could answer.

Johnny couldn’t lie, the thought of home-cooked spicy seafood stir fry almost made his mouth water instantly, but he wouldn’t dare ask Taeil to cook for him. He did have a better idea, though.

“I might pick it up and bring some back to share,” he said, pulling out his phone to look for places nearby.

Mark glanced at him, eyes widened. “Really? Like, actually?” he asked, voice raised in surprise. Johnny shrugged, not looking up.

“Sharing with Taeil? Doing something nice? Who are you?” Jungwoo teased from his other side, but Mark swatted at him before Johnny could.

“Shut up, it’s a good thing,” he hissed around his back, bickering quietly as they walked.

“I’m still here, you know,” Johnny spoke up, and Mark glanced back with a sheepish smile.

They continued in silence until Johnny’s way home broke off from theirs. He slowed down, still looking at his phone.

“Let us know how it goes after,” Jungwoo told him, moving to stand by Mark. They waited for him to reply, turning to walk home in slow-motion, but he didn’t look up.

“Hey? We’re gonna go, okay?” he said again, stopping in place. Only then did Johnny’s head pop up again, like he’d just heard him.

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine. See you guys tomorrow,” he said, waving as he turned to walk away without another word. Mark and Jungwoo stared at his back, before looking back at each other with stifled laughs and headed off together.

Johnny found a place that made exactly what he was looking for, and it wasn’t too far out of the way home, so he called quickly and placed an order for pick up. As he was walking there, stomach rumbling in anticipation, he realized he should probably let Taeil know about his plan.

He pulled out his phone again, this time finding Taeil’s number in his contacts. His eyes landed on their only exchanged messages, the time and location of the cafe they’d met in to discuss the apartment listing. It was less than a month ago, but it felt like ages. He started typing.

 **Johnny [7:12pm]**  
hey taeil, it’s johnny  
not sure if u have my number saved

He paused for a second, wondering how to phrase it right.

 **Johnny [7:13pm]**  
i’m bringing takeout back in abt 15 min  
there’s enough for two

He stopped there, looking over the messages. It sounded nice enough, like a kind gesture but not directly accommodating. He could easily say no and it wouldn’t be too much out of his way, but he had no reason to. It was free food.

He reached the restaurant before Taeil had responded, so he stuck his phone in his pocket to walk in and pick up the food. He was immediately hit with the spicy smell of dinners at home when he was younger, nose tingling as he breathed in. It was comforting and familiar, and he didn’t notice the buzz of a text message in his pocket until he was out of the store again and checked his phone.

 **Taeil [7:17pm]**  
What are you getting?

Johnny rolled his lips together as he read the message again. No _thank you Johnny_ , no _oh that’s so kind of you,_ not even a _thanks for thinking of me._ Not even a hello. The capital letter shouldn’t bother him either, but it did. He shifted the food so he could type back an equally curt response.

 **Johnny [7:20pm]**  
i already picked it up  
be back soon

Taeil read it almost as soon as he sent it, and the typing bubble appeared for a second. He waited for him to reply, turning down their street, but then it disappeared again.

 **Read** 7:20pm

He stuffed his phone back in his pocket, fighting the urge to bring the food to Jaehyun’s apartment and eat it with him instead. He had intended it to be a peace offering of sorts, to apologize for surprising him the night before and even the field. He could tolerate an awkward dinner with Taeil, nothing could ruin how excited he was for the stir fry.

He walked the rest of the way to the apartment uninterrupted, the smell from the bag wafting up to his nose and making him go a little faster. When he typed in the door code and stepped in, Taeil was waiting on the couch.

“Hey,” he greeted, walking to the bar to drop the food on the counter.

“Hi,” Taeil replied, standing up to walk to his side as he took the two servings out and set them down. “What is it?”

Johnny popped the lids off, closing his eyes and breathing in the smell with a satisfied sigh. “Spicy seafood stir fry. I had it a lot as a kid, and I was craving it tonight, so I thought you might-”

“I can’t eat it.”

Johnny set the lids on the table, looking down at him. Taeil sat down in the bar stool with a sigh, meeting his eyes as he did so.

Johnny’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Taeil looked tired, slouching a little in the chair. “What’s in it?” he asked instead of answering him.

“Um…,” Johnny started, picking up a fork to mix up the food, “onions, garlic, squid-”

“Prawns,” they said together. Johnny looked at him again, trying to piece together why Taeil was looking back like he should understand.

“Shellfish,” Taeil said when Johnny didn’t react, and then he realized.

“You’re allergic,” he breathed, and Taeil nodded. He bent his elbow and laid his head in his palm, making his bottom lip puff out a little.

Johnny stayed silent, staring at the prawns in the bowl. The best part of the dish, the most nostalgic. “Oh,” he said, not knowing what else to say. 

“I’m sorry, Johnny.”

He looked at Taeil, trying to hide how disappointed he was. When Taeil’s frown deepened just the tiniest bit more, he knew he wasn’t doing a very good job. He looked down again, scooting the bowls away from where he was seated.

“It’s fine. I should’ve asked before,” he rushed, trying to brush it off.

“Yeah,” Taeil replied, watching him quietly. “I asked, but you…”

He had asked. Johnny had ignored it, because what could he possibly have against seafood stir fry. It was a comfort food, everyone liked it. He hadn’t even considered food allergies, or the possibility of Taeil having one.

“Do you have any other allergies? You know, for future reference,” he asked, forcing his tone lighter and mustering a weak smile.

Taeil shook his head. “Nothing else, just some shellfish. You?”

“Nothing.”

They sat silently, and Johnny stared at the counter. The food was getting cold, but he couldn’t smell it. His stomach still felt tight, but it wasn’t from hunger anymore.

“I’m sorry, Johnny,” Taeil repeated. He could hear the frown in his voice, the gentle, wary tone he probably used on his kindergarteners. He didn’t like it.

Johnny picked his head up again, smiling at him and not caring how forced it looked. “It’s fine, really. It’s just food. No problem.”

Taeil flinched a little at the unnatural, nonchalant tone of his voice, and he looked ready to say more, but Johnny cut the moment short.

He picked up the lids and snapped them back on the bowls forcefully, jostling the liquid inside and making it splash a little. Once they were secured tightly, he set them on top of each other and put them back in the bag, just like they were when he’d set it down.

“We don’t have to have that, then,” he declared, pushing the bag away. “Forget it. Pretend I didn’t bring it home.”

Johnny was determined to recover the evening, and to try and fix his second mistake. Taeil didn’t look convinced, but he ignored the pitiful look he still wore and pulled out his phone.

“What else do you want? I can order it, I’m sure some places are still open.” He scrolled through his usual go-tos, most of which were closed. He scrolled faster, looking for anything that was nearby and would come quickly.

“It’s okay, Johnny,” he said instead, moving to scoot his chair back. “I think I’ll just-”

“Anything you want!” he insisted, voice raised. Taeil froze. “I’ll order it, my treat. Something you haven’t had in awhile, something your mom used to make and reminds you of-”

“I just want to go to bed,” he whispered, so quiet compared to Johnny that he almost didn’t hear him in his panicked restaurant search. He set his phone down, giving Taeil his full attention. He looked exhausted.

He sighed. “Are you sure?” he asked, calmer this time. 

Taeil nodded once. “Please,” he breathed, like he was asking permission. 

Johnny crumbled a little, suddenly finding himself missing the cold, detached Taeil that wouldn’t show his emotions, especially when it was because of him. He didn’t like the sad, slightly alarmed look in his eyes, or his careful tone. He wanted Taeil to feel comfortable with him and express things more, but not like this.

He took one small step back from the counter, dropping his hands to his sides. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed, “maybe that’s better. I’m sorry.”

Taeil slipped off the chair, turning around to push it back in line with the others, like always. He offered Johnny a weak smile, but it felt genuine. He tried his best to return it.

“Goodnight, Taeil,” he said first.

Taeil inhaled deeply, giving him one last, long glance. “Goodnight.”

Johnny watched him walk through the living room, down the hallway and into his room without turning back. When his door shut, he hung his head heavily, leaning forward to lock his elbows against the corner of the counter.

He stayed there for a moment, eyes closed and breathing steadily, before lifting it again and blinking a few times. He glanced at his phone, the discarded bag of takeout, and the empty chair beside him. He reached to pull the bag closer.

He pulled one of the containers out and set it in front of him. It was still warm to the touch, but it felt colder in the empty kitchen, and he poked a fork at it weakly to take a bite. He chewed slowly, tasting the familiar spice of the gochujang and the chewy squid pieces. He swallowed it, reaching to stab a prawn and raised it to his mouth. He pulled off the tail, chewed, and then pushed the bowl away.

He set the fork down to pick up his phone, finding the groupchat with Jungwoo, Mark, and Jaehyun. 

**Johnny [8:04pm]**  
operation have dinner with taeil was a bust

 **Jungwoo [8:04pm]**  
how bad??

 **Johnny [8:05pm]**  
failed miserably

 **Mark [8:06pm]**  
damn dude

 **Jaehyun [8:06pm]**  
wait what happened

 **Jungwoo [8:07pm]**  
he brought food home to share  
guess taeil isn’t a seafood fan

 **Johnny [8:08pm]**  
well he’s actually allergic

 **Mark [8:08pm]**  
aLLERGIC HAHHAHAH

 **Johnny [8:09pm]**  
shut the fuck up mark

 **Jungwoo [8:09pm]**  
yeah shut the fuck up mark

 **Mark [8:10pm]**  
ur sitting right next to me

 **Jungwoo [8:10pm]**  
i just wanted to say it too

 **Jaehyun [8:10pm]**  
ANYWAYS  
where’s taeil now?

 **Johnny [8:11pm]**  
went to bed  
i offered to order different food  
he wasn’t interested

 **Jaehyun [8:12pm]**  
sorry bro  
it was a nice gesture tho, he’ll appreciate it

 **Johnny [8:12pm]**  
i guess  
i wish he wouldn’t always go to bed when things get awkward  
like i get it but

 **Jaehyun [8:13pm]**  
you’ll never work through it if he always leaves

 **Johnny [8:13pm]**  
exactly

 **Jaehyun [8:14pm]**  
you made an effort john  
he knows it  
even if u didn’t think it all the way through

 **Johnny [8:15pm]**  
yeah  
hope so

Johnny put his phone down again, feeling a little weight taken off his shoulders. Taeil would recognize the effort he made, and maybe realize that he wasn’t an enemy. He was trying, given it hadn’t played out in the best ways, but he was.

He looked back at the food on the table, but the disastrous evening had spoiled his appetite, and it didn’t sound good anymore. He got up to put it in the fridge, setting it on his empty shelf.

With the food put away, he turned the kitchen lights off and walked to his room. He could see Taeil’s light was still on under his door, but it was silent, so he opened his and went in. He collapsed on the bed, stretching to pull his bag over and get his laptop out of it so he could put on something to watch for a while before he went to sleep.

As he flipped through the choices, he felt his phone buzz next to him. He picked a movie he hadn’t seen, pressed play and got comfortable before picking it up to check the notification.

 **Jungwoo [8:28pm]**  
sorry i stopped responding  
mark threw a pillow at me and i had to get revenge

 **Johnny [8:31pm]**  
hhahaha  
is he still alive?

 **Jungwoo [8:32pm]**  
just barely

 **Jaehyun [8:32pm]**  
mark i’m gonna need u to confirm

 **Mark [8:34pm]**  
yeah  
i’m good aha

 **Johnny [8:35pm]**  
…  
that sounds like something jungwoo would say if he murdered u

Just then, Jungwoo sent a picture into the chat. It was Mark, hands reaching to block the camera, mouth open in complaint and eyes squinting from the flash in the otherwise dim room. His hair was disheveled and cheeks red from the scuffle, and Johnny couldn’t help but laugh as he imagined Jungwoo smacking a pillow into his face with no warning. 

**Johnny [8:37pm]**  
mark lives another day hahhaah

 **Jungwoo [8:38pm]**  
i decided to spare him this time  
next time he loses a hand

 **Jaehyun [8:39pm]**  
third time?

 **Jungwoo [8:39pm]**  
guillotine 

**Johnny [8:40pm]**  
hahahahahah

 **Jaehyun [8:40pm]**  
hahhahahaahah

 **Mark [8:41pm]**  
i hate all of u  
goodnight 

**Jaehyun [8:41pm]**  
love u markie<3333

 **Johnny [8:41pm]**  
sweet dreams<3333  
woo don’t forget to tuck him in~~

 **Jungwoo [8:42pm]**  
i would never~

 **Mark [8:42pm]**  
SHUT UP

 **Mark [8:43pm]**  
GOODNIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading<3 As always, kudos and/or comments are much appreciated! See you next week~


	5. Old Meets New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny and Jaehyun find a surprise visitor in the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is long overdue!!! I got swept up in fests and uni work and had to rework my schedule so now my goal is to post every other friday.... I think. Also pretend it is actually friday and not 1am saturday morning ahaaa. Anyways, we shall see how that goes, but here is something for now! I think everybody is sick of them being awkward and dumb (including me), so let's see if they make any progress :)
> 
> No rating or tag changes for this chapter! I hope you enjoy!

Johnny glanced at the clock at the top of his screen for the hundredth time. 3:24pm. He felt like he’d been sitting at that table for ages, staring at his notebook, looking at slide after slide of his business management lectures, brain slowly melting out his ears. Surely he’d done enough work for the day.

“Can we leave yet?” he asked, setting his pen down and leaning back in his chair.

On his left, Jaehyun didn’t even look up from the essay he’d been writing since they’d first sat down. The others didn’t acknowledge him, Mark was busy writing notes and Jungwoo and Taeyong were whispering quietly over something on Taeyong’s laptop. He studied with them sometimes now, Johnny wasn’t sure quite when, but he did.

Jaehyun finished typing his sentence, the clicking of his keys pausing for a moment, and glanced up at him. “We’ve barely been here an hour, John,” he said, unimpressed, “and you’ve asked to leave at least five times. Don’t you have assignments to do?”

Johnny scowled at him like he hadn’t expected that exact answer, the same as the last two times he’d asked. “I do, I just don’t want to do it,” he grumbled, looking back at the 38 slides in the presentation, of which he’d only made it through 12.

“Just try for a little longer. I need to finish this essay, it’s due tonight,” Jaehyun told him, turning back to his screen and starting to type again.

Johnny rolled his eyes, knowing  _ a little longer _ meant at least another hour. He leaned forward again, setting both elbows on the table as he propped his head in both hands to try and understand the graph on the slide again.

“If you want a break,” Taeyong spoke up from across the table, and Johnny looked up to find him looking directly back. With Johnny’s attention, he continued, “I can show you the photos I’ve been editing for this week’s article.”

Johnny looked at Jungwoo, who was still leaning over to peer at Taeyong’s screen, realizing what he was looking at already. He turned back to him, meeting his waiting gaze again, and nodded, pushing his chair back to stand up. Taeyong’s face lit up with a smile as he did so, pushing his laptop back a little and scooting his chair towards Jungwoo to give him room. Johnny pulled his chair around the table to sit on his other side.

“I only picked a few to publish,” Taeyong explained as he leaned in to look over his shoulder. “I’m not editing much either, just some exposure and blurring of distracting things in the background.”

He saw a folder of a dozen or so photos, watching as he clicked the first one and it opened full screen in an application with a bunch of icons and tabs and sliders. He fiddled with one of the settings, and the slightly dark photo suddenly became perfectly lit right before his eyes with only a few adjustments.

“Whoa, I didn’t know you could do that,” he said, genuinely surprised as Taeyong continued to click random keys and make edits that Johnny would miss if he blinked. He zoomed in and highlighted a camera flash in the crowd, and with a few buttons, it disappeared like it was never there. 

“Cool,” he mumbled, propping his chin in his hand. His elbow bumped Taeyong’s arm, and he stopped clicking to glance at it out of the corner of his eye. Johnny pulled it back slightly, but Taeyong had already focused back to the photo without a word.

“This one’s done, I think,” he said, quickly saving the photo before closing it and opening the next one. Jungwoo appeared in fullscreen HD, and both him and Johnny stifled a surprised laugh. He was mid-shoot, arm still up and wrist bent as the ball sailed through the air. It would’ve been cool, except for the way his hair stood up in all directions as gravity sent him down again.

“Why’d you pick that one,” Jungwoo whined, swatting his arm weakly as they continued to snicker.

“Because you look like a puppy,” Taeyong answered, zooming in on the headband attempting to contain his fluffy hair as it spread out like a bird’s wings. “It’s cute, don’t worry.”

“But I don’t want cute, I want strong and intimidating,” he pouted. Johnny hadn’t stopped laughing, and he leaned forward to glare at him around Taeyong, who just looked between them with a giggle.

“Good luck with that one, Woo,” he teased, voice still tense with held in laughter. “Not even Taeyong’s editing skills are enough to make that possible.”

Taeyong had nearly managed to calm down, but his comment set him off again and both he and Johnny buried their heads in their arms on the table, laughter muffled into their hoodies. He felt Jungwoo reach out and smack him, but he kept his head down until he could control his breathing again.

When they sat up again, red-faced and mostly composed, both Mark and Jaehyun were looking over the tops of their laptops with raised eyebrows and faint smiles. Johnny waved them off, shaking his head to show it was nothing before looking back at Taeyong’s laptop, where he’d begun working on the next photo.

It was him this time, a portrait shot of his back and the ball he’d just shot inches away from going straight through the hoop. He couldn’t remember the moment exactly, but seeing all of the faces in the photo turned to watch the ball gave him a little burst of pride. His shoulder and back muscles looked good, too.

“That’s a nice one,” he said, voice calmer now. Taeyong nodded in agreement, eyes focused on fixing an imperfection that Johnny couldn’t even pick out.

“How come there’s so many of Johnny,” Jungwoo whined from his other side, making Taeyong’s hand freeze and Johnny’s ears perk.

“Because I’m the ace of the team,” Johnny joked without thought, purely to push Jungwoo’s buttons. He got his intended response, Jungwoo continuing to whine something incoherently, but he was already focused on the screen again, tuning him out.

Jungwoo was right. When he looked closer at the folder, four of the twelve photos Taeyong had selected were of him, and two were the entire team, putting him in half of them. He wasn’t sure how to react, so he just stayed silent, staring at the screen and avoiding Taeyong’s eyes on him.

“They’re not all for the paper,” he explained quickly, even though Johnny hadn’t said anything. “I just thought, you know, maybe you’d like to have some of them. Since I’ve already taken them anyway, and they’re no use sitting in the folder after I’ve published the article for this game. There’s a lot of good photos, but I can’t use them all.”

Johnny listened to him without looking up, nodding silently. When he trailed off, he cleared his throat and sat up to shrug. “Yeah, makes sense. Thanks.”

Taeyong flashed a soft smile, and he returned it reflexively. Jungwoo was still grumbling about his photo, and after Taeyong seemed satisfied with Johnny’s response, he turned back to him. “There’s more if you want them, too. You can have a look when I’m done editing these.”

He immediately perked up, quieting to watch him work again and wait patiently. Johnny sat back with a low chuckle at how easily pleased he was.

“I can send them to you when they’re done, if you’d like,” Taeyong said quietly, turning his head just a little to steal a quick glance at him. Johnny met his gaze, but the close proximity made him turn his head back immediately, opting for a curt nod instead.

“Sure, yeah,” he replied, not knowing what else to say. “Whatever’s fine, don’t worry.” 

Taeyong didn’t look away from the screen, but he could see his lips curve slightly in the reflection of it, silent as he worked. Johnny exhaled a heavy breath as he leaned back in the chair.

Taeyong had only gone through a few more photos before Jaehyun suddenly slammed his laptop closed, making all four boys’ heads shoot up to look at him. He stared back wildly, glancing between all of them before he whispered, “I’m done.”

“You finished your essay?” Johnny asked excitedly, and Jaehyun broke into a grin, throwing his head back to holler a silent victory cheer and pump a fist in the air. Johnny chuckled, standing up to pull his chair back to his side of the table.

“Thank god, that means we can finally leave,” he exclaimed, pushing his chair back and stacking his laptop and notebook to put in his bag. “See you guys later, I just can’t focus anymore.”

“You say that like you were actually focused at all today,” Mark commented, watching as he got ready to leave. Johnny pulled a face at him, and he rolled his eyes before hunching back over his work.

“See you later,” Taeyong said with a smile and a small wave as Jaehyun stood up with his bag. Jungwoo did the same, and Johnny returned it as they finally turned to leave.

“Took you long enough,” Johnny muttered as they strolled through the main area to reach the exit. “I was ready to walk home by myself.”

“Didn’t seem like you were that bored,” Jaehyun replied, giving him a side glance before he pushed through the front door.

Johnny followed behind, speeding up to fall in step with him again. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jaehyun said absently, swinging his arms back and forth, “Just think Taeyong was boosting your ego a little and you were eating it right up.”

“You were snooping!” Johnny accused him.

“I was sitting right next to you!” he defended, tone higher.

“You were supposed to be writing your essay!”

“I was!” Jaehyun nearly wailed.

Johnny glanced at him with his lips stretched to stifle a laugh and Jaehyun punched his arm, groaning and giving up.

“Why am I even going to your apartment? You did absolutely no work today, you need to go home and study, not watch TV with me,” he declared, running a hand through his hair.

“And yet, you continue to walk home with me,” Johnny teased as they did just that, Jaehyun not making any effort to turn the opposite direction to his apartment.

He sighed. “It’s a wonder you’re passing your classes,” he said, and Johnny cracked a smile at the genuine stress in his voice.

He twisted his torso to lean into Jaehyun’s field of view as they walked down the road, reaching up to tap a finger to his temple with a playful grin.

“Study smart, not hard,” he said, making direct eye contact with him. Jaehyun rolled his eyes with an exasperated laugh as they continued the rest of the way back to his apartment.

  
  


\----------------------------

  
  


Johnny had gotten into a good habit over the last week of texting Taeil when he was bringing people over at night in an attempt to not repeat the first time, and it seemed to be working well for them. He knew Taeil had classes all day, though, so he didn’t bother to text before he and Jaehyun walked to their apartment that afternoon.

The first thing he noticed when they stepped through the door was an extra pair of shoes in the entryway. The second thing he noticed was the faint smell of something spicy, and the third thing he noticed was footsteps padding down the hallway.

“Hello, you must be Johnny.”

Both he and Jaehyun stared, unmoving, at the source of the voice, a stranger poking his head around the corner. He looked older, with sharp features, a strong jaw, and thin-framed glasses resting low on the bridge of his nose. His dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, loose wisps ghosting over his temples and tucked behind his ears. He was frighteningly intimidating, and the seriousness of his tone made Johnny feel like he was the one intruding.

The man must have noticed their shock, and his stoic expression quickly crinkled in a warm smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I promise Taeil let me in.”

At the mention of Taeil, Johnny glanced back to the entryway he’d just stepped out of. The shoes he always wore were placed neatly right beside the foreign pair. He hadn’t noticed at first because they didn’t look out of place, but Taeil was here too.

He looked up again, more confused than before. Taeil was home? Taeil had brought a friend over? Taeil had friends? The only friend Johnny had ever heard about was-

“I’m Yuta, Taeil’s old roommate,” the stranger interrupted his thoughts, or rather finished them.

Johnny’s mouth formed an O as he finally understood, the panic deep in his stomach fizzling out. He returned the smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Yuta,” he replied.

Yuta nodded in agreement but his gaze darted between him and Jaehyun. “Or, sorry, are you Johnny?”

From behind, Jaehyun quickly shook his head. “Oh no, that’s Johnny, you’re right,” he corrected with a light laugh, stepping up to bow politely. “I’m Jaehyun, Johnny’s friend, and also his old roommate.”

They exchanged a short laugh as he tipped his head respectfully, a kind smile still on his lips. “Nice to meet you as well, then, Jaehyun.”

They stood in silence for a moment as Johnny simply took in the fact that Yuta was standing in front of him, and that he really existed. It’s not that he thought he hadn’t, but he just couldn’t imagine what he would be like, and now, in front of him, he was surprisingly… normal. This man was Taeil’s childhood friend, someone who knew him inside and out, he assumed. A worry of making a good impression flashed across his mind, but he brushed it off.

Just then, a door opened from down the hall, and a few seconds later Taeil appeared from behind Yuta. He stepped out only halfway, one shoulder still hidden behind the taller man as he glanced at Johnny and Jaehyun.

“Hey,” he said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t know you’d be home.”

Johnny looked at Jaehyun, who looked back at him, and then back to Taeil. “We were just at the library, we’re gonna watch some TV.”

He had the urge to apologize, but he swallowed it down. He shouldn’t have to, this was just as much his apartment, and if he was supposed to text when he was bringing people over, Taeil should too. Although, he had blatantly chosen not to text earlier, so they were technically both at fault.

“That’s fine, I won’t be staying long,” Yuta said to him, gesturing to the couch. “I was in the area, so I decided to stop by and see how Taeil was doing. Luckily, I caught you as well.”

Johnny smiled politely, unsure how lucky it really was. “Not a problem, it was nice to finally put a face to the name.”

Yuta’s eyebrows raised slightly. “He talks about me?” He turned around to look at Taeil, who was staring Johnny down, face unreadable. “I thought you said you don’t,” he teased lightly.

Yuta’s playful tone made Johnny freeze up in shock. He couldn’t imagine ever talking to Taeil like that, and he almost expected him to storm off back to his room like he always did whenever Johnny overstepped, but he didn’t move. Instead, he turned to Yuta, chin barely poking over his shoulder as he looked up at him, and cracked a smile.

“I said not much,” he replied, holding his gaze, “but a little, yeah.” 

Yuta chuckled, a bright grin spreading across his face. He looked almost proud, turning back to Johnny as if to check if he’d heard it, too. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Taeil tells me a lot about you as well.”

Both Taeil and Johnny stiffened before he had even finished his sentence, and Jaehyun’s eyes widened as he dropped them to the ground. Yuta seemed oblivious, or was very good at hiding his emotions, because he continued on as if nothing had happened.

“So, Jaehyun, Taeil tells me you’re studying communications? That was my major too, I just graduated last year. What year are you?”

At the mention of his name, Jaehyun’s head shot up again, his cheeks dusted pink. “Oh, uh, yeah, I am,” he stuttered out. “I’m in second year, starting this year.”

“Starting this year?” Yuta repeated, confused.

“Starting second year, this year,” Jaehyun tried to correct himself, but realizing it wasn’t helping, he laughed awkwardly and started over. “I just started second year. I’m a sophomore.”

“Right,” Yuta replied with a chuckle, smiling at his slip-up. “Sophomore. I might’ve been a TA in one of your classes last year,” he said.

“Oh, really? I think I would’ve recognized you though,” Jaehyun answered, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to remember.

“Me too,” Yuta agreed. “For Professor Stevens? He teaches a big introductory communication skills for business class, or at least he did last year.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t take that,” Jaehyun frowned. “Business isn’t my thing. I’m thinking of focusing on public relations, or maybe media.”

“Yeah?” He sounded excited. “I’m working in international communications for an entertainment company.”

Jaehyun’s eyes lit up, taking a step closer. “That’s so cool! That would be my dream, honestly.”

“It was mine, too,” Yuta replied, matching his enthusiasm. “I was really lucky to get an internship there last year, and they offered me a job when I graduated.”

“You must’ve been a great intern,” Jaehyun praised warmly. Yuta smiled.

When the conversation quieted for a moment, they both seemed to realize that there were other people in the room still. Jaehyun took a few steps back to Johnny’s side from where he’d mindlessly gone up to Yuta, clearing his throat as if to let him talk. Yuta glanced back at where Taeil still stood in the hallway, and they shared a look Johnny couldn’t decipher.

“Should we watch something?” Jaehyun said quietly to him, turning to walk towards the couch.

Johnny followed silently, uncomfortably aware of Taeil and Yuta sharing hushed whispers, but he couldn’t make any of it out. He settled awkwardly on the furthest end of the couch, not where he usually sat, to put some respectful distance between him and the pair as Jaehyun picked up the remote.

He was grateful for the background noise of the TV in the otherwise silent room, the 24 hour news channel playing at low volume as Jaehyun found the drama he’d suggested they watch earlier. He kept his head facing towards the screen, but out of the corner of his eye, he watched them finish their conversation and Taeil retreat back down the hall without as much as a smile in his direction. Yuta took a seat beside Jaehyun, leaning back comfortably.

“Taeil’s just going to do something quick and then we’ll go get some food,” he explained when they both looked at him in confusion.

“Oh, cool,” Jaehyun replied, turning to look at him. “So, about your internship, how did you find it? Because I think I need to get some experience next summer and I have no idea where to start.”

Yuta looked a little surprised by the sudden question, and Johnny snorted from his other side. The last thing he wanted to talk about was school, but Jaehyun had the remote tightly grasped in his hand and out of reach.

“Sorry if that was too blunt, or, I don’t know, confidential?” Jaehyun tried. “You don’t have to, I was just wondering if you have any advice.”

Yuta was already nodding before he had finished, the same gentle smile back again. “Yeah, of course, I just forgot what we were talking about for a second. I can totally help you find an internship, I can even put in a good word for you at my company if it interests you.”

Jaehyun gasped, eyes huge. “That would be incredible! Honestly, I don’t even know if I can accept, that’s crazy.”

Yuta giggled, eyes crinkling. “You don’t even know where I work though.”

“I’m sure it’s a great company,” Jaehyun rushed out. “You seem really smart, and charismatic, and everything like that.”

Yuta flushed a little at the unexpected compliment, glancing down at the coffee table with an embarrassed chuckle. “Thank you, but I promise I’m not that special. You have the potential too, I can tell already.”

Now both of them were pink-cheeked, throwing praise bombs back and forth. Johnny watched from the side with one eyebrow raised, chuckling to himself as Jaehyun fiddled with his hands like he did when he was nervous, remote now discarded to the side and drama long forgotten.

Johnny stretched over to grab the remote. “If you guys don’t mind,” he started, “I’m just gonna watch something. I’ve had enough of college and internships and jobs for the day.”

Jaehyun didn’t even bat an eye, but Yuta smiled at him with a nod. “Of course, go ahead. Taeil shouldn’t be much longer, then we’ll be out of your way.”

With Jaehyun distracted, Johnny found a different show to watch as he and Yuta continued to talk about his internship and general words of advice for college and where to go afterwards. 

After about 10 minutes, Taeil appeared again, looking over all three of them on the couch as their quiet conversation fell away.

“Ready?” Yuta asked him from his spot, and Taeil nodded. He put his hands on his knees and pushed himself up slowly, walking over to slip his shoes and coat back on. Jaehyun followed along behind, leaning against the wall to watch as they got ready to leave.

“Hey, Johnny,” Yuta said after he’d gotten his shoes on, and he perked up at the mention of his name. “Do you want to exchange numbers? Just in case you need it, if Taeil is being a pain.”

His tone was light and playful, but Johnny still flinched a little at the end of his sentence, caught off guard. He couldn’t imagine ever calling Yuta for help with Taeil, but it would be rude to turn down such a direct offer.

“Sure, that would be great,” he agreed, and accepted Yuta’s phone with both hands to type his contact in. He quickly rang his own phone number so that it would appear on his own and he could save it later. “Thank you,” he said as he handed it back with a respectful nod. 

“No problem, Johnny,” Yuta replied warmly, making sure to catch his eye. “Don’t hesitate to call or message if there’s anything you want to ask, yeah?”

Johnny nodded in understanding, smiling back politely. He watched as Yuta turned to face Jaehyun, who was still leaning against the wall, observing quietly.

“I’ll give you my contact as well,” Yuta told him with no hesitation. “If you need help with your classes, because I’ve probably taken them already, and in the future with an internship.”

Jaehyun looked a little stunned, and when Yuta held his empty hand out, it took him a few seconds to realize he was asking for his phone. He quickly scurried back to the couch to retrieve it for him. “Yeah, that’d be awesome, thank you. I really appreciate it, Yuta.”

“It’s nothing, really,” he replied as Jaehyun handed him his phone, making a contact for himself.

They finished exchanging numbers and Yuta stood back to where Taeil was waiting patiently from a distance. “It was nice to meet you both, I hope we’ll see each other again sometime,” he said, looking between them with a smile.

“Yeah, it was,” Johnny said. “Feel free to come over whenever. I feel like I owe it to you, past roommate and all.”

“You don’t owe me anything, I’m happy you decided to take the offer,” Yuta assured him. “I knew I liked you from your first message.”

Johnny had almost forgotten about that, Taeil mentioning that he had selected him specifically from all the inquiries. Yuta had picked him out, but why exactly, he didn’t know.

“Taeil did say something about that,” Johnny replied. “I should thank you, I think. For choosing me.”

The slight question in his voice made Yuta chuckle a little, waving his hand to quiet him. “No thanks needed.”

Johnny obeyed and dropped it, instead bowing again as he stepped back to let them go. Taeil went first to pull the door open, propping it with his foot for Yuta to follow him out.

“Bye!” Jaehyun called, and Yuta turned to wave as he left the apartment.

Taeil didn’t look back, and Johnny stayed silent as he watched Yuta disappear through the door, shutting and locking behind him. As soon as their footsteps faded, Jaehyun let out a heavy sigh and started wandering back towards the couch.

Johnny looked at him. “You and Yuta hit it off, huh.”

“I can’t believe he’s literally everything I want to be in life,” Jaehyun mused, staring out the window at the traffic below.

Johnny stifled a laugh. “He’s what? A newbie employee who probably delivers coffees all day with a decent jawline and a ponytail?”

Jaehyun whipped his head around to gawk at him, looking personally offended. Johnny let out of the laugh he was holding and went to sit back down on the couch. 

“He doesn’t deliver coffee, he works with foreign companies to gain contacts and organize collaborations with the marketing and content development teams,” Jaehyun bit back defensively, before looking back out the window with another wistful sigh. “He does everything, it’s so cool.”

“How can you already know what you want to do for a career?” Johnny asked, lifting his legs to rest his ankles on the coffee table. “I don’t even know what I’m having for lunch tomorrow.” 

“I don’t exactly, I just think that what he does sounds like everything I like about my major. It’s so specific but it really does sound too good to be true, that’s why I picked his brain about it.”

Johnny hummed to himself as Jaehyun turned around to join him, seemingly done with day-dreaming about his future. “That stuff is scary, getting a job and having responsibilities and all,” he said to him.

Jaehyun nodded, jostling Johnny a little as he plopped on the cushion beside him. “It is kinda, but it’s coming. Better to start thinking now so it’s not so overwhelming when it actually happens, you know?”

“I guess,” Johnny replied. “Or, I can just pretend it’s not coming and enjoy the rest of my college years with no stress.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Yeah, or you could do that.”

Silence settled for a moment as Johnny waited to see if he had anything else to say on it. When he didn’t speak up, he sat up to reach for the remote, pulling it back with him. “Well, if we’re done discussing big important adult things, you wanna watch that drama finally?”

“Sounds good, I’ve still got some time before I have to be home for dinner,” Jaehyun agreed, and rolled his eyes when Johnny pulled a face.

“You have to be home for dinner?” he repeated, dragging out each word. “Or what, Mom’s going to leave your chicken nuggets cold on the table? No dessert or cartoons for a week?”

He snorted to himself at his own joke as he leaned back to get comfortable. Jaehyun didn’t reply for a second, and when he glanced sideways, he had his eyes shut, jaw clenching and unclenching noticeably. Nerves prickled in his stomach instinctively. 

Jaehyun sucked in a slow breath through his nose before opening his eyes again. “God, Johnny, can he not do a nice thing without you picking on him?” His voice was icey and frighteningly low, like he was holding back. “I’ve told you  _ over and over _ that I’m tired of how you talk about him.”

The wry smile on Johnny’s face flattened out quickly at the scolding, settling into a frown. He held his tongue, stunned by the sudden change and unexpected outburst.

They were both dead silent, Johnny’s wide eyes watching as the hurt and anger in Jaehyun’s eyes dissipated as fast as it had appeared.

Eventually, Jaehyun sighed, taking in his expression and let his eyebrows unfurrow. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to snap,” he said quietly. He leaned forward to rub his face into his palms, breathing in deeply before sitting up again. 

“He offered to cook dinner tonight because he knows I’ve been busy with this essay and too tired to pick up groceries,” he continued, voice heavy with the same guilt that bubbled in Johnny. “The least I can do is be home when he’s making it, right?”

As he trailed off, it sounded like he was asking for reassurance instead of making a point to Johnny. He wasn’t sure if he should push it further, seeing as he’d already crossed a line for Jaehyun, so he just listened quietly, and when he looked at him for a response, he nodded slowly. 

He took a moment to decide what the best way to respond was, guilt twisting in his stomach. “I’m sorry, too,” he finally said. “I forgot you’d been busy and stuff,” he paused to wince, because of course Doyoung hadn’t, ”and yeah, it’s nice of him. Sorry, Jae.”

He sat back, pulling his hands into his lap to interlace his fingers mindlessly. He half expected Jaehyun to just get up and go home early, but he didn’t move.

“Doyoung cares about me a lot,” Jaehyun said bluntly, focused on the black TV screen. “He cares, and shows that through kind gestures. I care about him so much, too.”

Johnny rolled his lips together, unsure of what to say. Should he agree? Should he pretend he wasn’t listening? Jaehyun was more talking  _ at _ him than to him, and he almost felt like he wasn’t supposed to be hearing it.

Before he could put together a response, Jaehyun picked up the remote that Johnny had dropped in between them when the conversation had gotten tense and flipped it on without another word. Johnny watched silently and decided that it was better to just let it pass, even when he wasn’t sure if they’d worked it out all the way. 

Jaehyun found the drama, started it, and turned the volume up, telling Johnny that he was done talking. He was okay with that, because they were never very good at talking about their feelings with each other, but he still wanted to show him that he cared.

Even though there was plenty of space on the other side of Jaehyun to stretch out, Johnny turned sideways to lay his head on the arm of the couch and kick his legs up into Jaehyun’s lap. He made a surprised noise from the sudden weight, and Johnny eyed him for a second to see if he’d shove him off, but he just glanced over shyly and offered a small smile. He readjusted Johnny’s calves and rested his hands on them, keeping him there. 

“It’s okay,” he mumbled under the TV noise, “I’m not mad. Just want to watch this and then I’ll go.”

Johnny nodded, relieved to hear he wasn’t actually upset with him. “Sounds good,” he replied, as casually as he could muster, and turned his neck to focus on the show, ignoring how uncomfortable it was.

  
  


\------------------------------

  
  


A few hours later, Johnny was still sitting on the couch, this time massaging the crick in his neck from the awkward angle he’d been laying in earlier. Jaehyun had left after finishing the first episode, just as he’d said, and the apartment was quiet again, with only the faint voices of some idols on a variety show to keep him company. He didn’t mind being home alone during the day, but the complete silence was unsettling, so he left the TV on even after the drama finished. He busied himself with his Instagram explore page, scrolling mindlessly and sending memes to their group chat. 

Beeping coming from the front door caught his attention, and Johnny looked up just as the lock clicked and Taeil pushed the door open, stepping into the entryway. They made awkward eye contact, and Taeil paused for a second before breaking his gaze to take his shoes off and set them aside. 

“Hey, Taeil,” he greeted. His mind flashed back to him leaving with Yuta and not so much as glancing at him before they left, and he wondered if maybe he’d done something wrong again, or if he was upset at him for not texting before he arrived with Jaehyun. 

“Hey,” he answered in an exhale, stepping up into the living room. He looked tired, but he didn’t sound particularly annoyed with him, which Johnny took as a good sign. 

He watched as Taeil stood by entry, glancing over him and the entire couch as if he was pondering a decision, choosing between two options. He felt like he was being examined, and subconsciously, Johnny sat up straighter, pulling his feet off the table and placing them flat on the ground so that he only took up one space. Taeil followed his movements, blinked once, twice, and then walked towards the couch. 

When Taeil studied in the living room, Johnny always found him in the corner of the couch when he got home from practice. It was nearest to the window and got the last bit of sun every evening, framing him in golden light as he sipped his tea and read his textbook, legs tucked under him like a cat. The spot had just become  _ his  _ in Johnny’s mind, and he preferred the one in the middle so that he could use the coffee table as a footrest. Although it didn’t matter much, because they rarely sat there together. Or ever. Until now. 

Johnny’s head made a 180° turn as he watched Taeil go from the door on his right, across the living room, and around the table to sit in the corner on his left, tucking one foot under his thigh as he did. He wiggled around a little, pulling his arms into his sleeves so his hands disappeared, and finally settled back against the cushion.

They stared at each other in complete silence for a moment. When Taeil still didn’t say anything, Johnny cleared his throat to try and initiate it. “How was your meal?” he asked, nerves making his voice go slightly higher and betray his calm expression.

Taeil looked up to meet his gaze, the closest they had probably ever been. He could reach out and touch his thigh easily without moving, but his hands were tucked away in his lap. “It was fine,” he replied, and Johnny thought for a second that was all he was going to say, but then he continued, “It was nice to see Yuta. It’s been a while since we last met.”

Johnny nodded along, pleased that Taeil seemed to actually want to talk to him instead of his usual short, blunt answers. “He seems really nice, I’m glad I got to meet him too,” he agreed, before adding on, “I’m sorry I didn’t message before I got home, I thought you would be in class.”

“It’s okay, I should’ve mentioned that Yuta would be here,” Taeil replied instantly. Johnny’s ears perked and he glanced at him, and Taeil flashed a small, hesitant smile.

He couldn’t believe his eyes, or his ears. They had never agreed so easily on something, both understanding the other like it was nothing, which it shouldn’t be, but for them it was. It was progress, no matter how small.

“So, how’s he doing in his new flat? Does he like living alone?” Johnny continued, attempting to keep the conversation flowing for as long as Taeil would cooperate.

“Mm,” Taeil hummed, exhaling a small laugh, “He said he likes being able to leave dirty dishes in the sink, but he misses always having clean ones to use, too.”

Johnny chuckled at his response, and Taeil’s smile widened as he looked up at him. There was no trace of his usual hesitation or wariness, and Johnny smiled back, but for a different reason.

“Do you miss having him around?” Johnny asked, and Taeil’s smile faltered for a second. He stiffened, an apology already resting on his tongue, but before he could say it, Taeil spoke again.

“Honestly, yes. It was his choice to leave, and I was against it for a while, but he was adamant,” he explained, eyes on his lap. “We lived together for two years, so at first it was very strange for both of us, I think, but he’s adjusted well.”

“I get that,” Johnny said, even though they both knew he’d never experienced it before. “And now? Have you adjusted, too?”

He was hesitant to push more after his first reaction, but he wanted to know what Taeil thought about him as a roommate compared to Yuta. It was a sure second place, of course, but he didn’t have a clue as to where they stood after the last few weeks of ups and (mostly) downs. 

Taeil seemed to think about it for a second, humming quietly as he jutted his lip out a little and cocked his head to the side, picking at his sleeves. “Well… yeah. I think so,” he decided, clearing his throat as his cheeks reddened slightly. “Or trying, at least.”

He sounded like he was reassuring himself more than he was Johnny, but the determination in his voice made him grin widely. He was trying, and it felt like seeing Yuta had helped, too. The thought of Taeil and Yuta talking about him sent nerves shooting down his spine, but he was also thankful that it appeared to have been good things. 

Johnny’s reaction seemed to settle his nerves and he relaxed visibly against the couch, a gentle smile still on his lips. They sat quietly, but in comfortable silence, and Johnny was satisfied to leave it at that for the night, turning his attention back to the TV screen playing an evening rerun of an old movie he’d seen before.

He expected Taeil to get up and go to bed like usual, but he stayed still, and Johnny could feel his eyes on the side of his face as he stared ahead. He resisted the urge to look, keeping his eyes glued to the screen.

“You know,” Taeil started quietly, and Johnny’s head jerked halfway towards him, making him stop abruptly.

Johnny coughed, rolling out his neck awkwardly as if he had meant to stretch it. “Sorry, go ahead,” he ushered him, waiting to see what he had to say.

Taeil eyed him for a second, but nodded eventually and started again. “Uh, if I’ve been… cold, or….,” he paused to find the right word, “or unwelcoming to you, since you moved in, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention.”

Johnny’s first thought was  _ try completely indifferent and borderline hostile,  _ because cold was certainly down-playing the way he’d been treated since arriving, but his tone of voice caught his attention. When he turned fully to meet his eyes, they were attentive and focused and his bottom lip was just the slightest bit stuck out and he looked so painfully sincere that Johnny felt his built-up frustration melt away with each passing second.

He exhaled evenly, a kind smile settling as he looked at Taeil, all tucked into his corner and entirely concentrated on him. He felt an odd need to soothe his worry, to assure him that he wasn’t upset, even though he had valid reason to be.

“It’s okay,” he finally said, watching the way Taeil’s eyebrows raised hopefully. “You don’t have to apologize, I know it was a big change.” He stopped to drop his gaze, focusing on his hands. “I could’ve been a little more understanding of that, too.”

Taeil was silent next to him as he twisted the ring on his index finger around, hyper aware of the other sounds around them. Faint voices from the TV, traffic from out their window, the rustle of Taeil’s hoodie as he readjusted his legs beneath him.

“Going to bed?” Johnny rushed before realizing that he was only standing to stretch his legs out, frozen in a half-squat above the couch. They stared at each other for a second before Johnny sputtered out a laugh, and Taeil joined in as he sat down again.

“I will soon,” Taeil agreed, and Johnny nodded, because he’d expected it. What he didn’t expect, though, was for Taeil to continue, “If you are?” 

Johnny tried to hide his surprise at the question with a light chuckle, but when he glanced up again, Taeil was completely serious. “If I am? Going to bed?” he repeated, genuinely confused. Did he not trust him to be alone in the living room by himself?

“Yeah,” Taeil nodded, not elaborating.

Johnny swallowed dryly. Taeil was offering to stay up with him. Or babysit him? He didn’t exactly know, but it was new territory, and he wasn’t sure how to respond to it, so he went with the easiest option.

“I’m actually pretty tired, yeah,” he said quickly, adding a yawn for extra effect. “I’ll probably go to bed, too.”

“Okay,” Taeil replied with a small smile. He seemed pleased, and Johnny felt like he’d passed a test. 

He let Taeil stand up first, reaching for the remote to turn off the TV before following behind as he rounded the coffee table and walked into the hallway. He waited there for Taeil to reach his door before he turned off the light, but he turned around halfway to stop. They looked at each other for a second, Johnny with his hand on the switch and Taeil barely distinguishable in the dim light.

“I’ll turn the light off when you turn yours on,” Johnny said first, motioning to his door.

Taeil’s smile was barely visible in the shadow, but he giggled softly as he nodded and turned to walk to his door. He reached in to flip the switch, filling his room with light and the small gap that spilled into the hall. Johnny switched the living room light off, making his way to his door with only the light from his room to guide him.

When he reached his door, he looked back to where Taeil still stood, half in and half out of his room. “Goodnight, Taeil,” he called quietly to his shadowy figure.

“Goodnight, Johnny,” he replied, and even though it was too dark to see it, Johnny could hear the smile in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As always, please leave a kudos/comment if you liked it<3


	6. Making Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny and Taeil spend the entire day together, full of firsts. First meal together, first time studying together, and first time breaking out the first aid kit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo!! i'm so excited to be back writing this again, and thank you for returning if you've been waiting! as a gift for taking so long, this is 7.4k of pure johnil :DD the awkward stage is NEARLY THRU! commencing the next phase, awkward mutual pining<33
> 
> ** **slight trigger warning** for indirect mentions of blood in this chapter! johnny cuts his hand towards the end and there's a short mention in one sentence. it's nothing serious and he's perfectly fine, but please skip this part if it upsets you**
> 
> besides this, no additional tags for this chapter :3 enjoy!!

For the first time since moving in, Johnny stumbled into the living room, bleary-eyed and head still foggy with sleep, to find Taeil in his usual spot on the couch. He was so used to waking up in an empty apartment that he hadn’t bothered to get changed or even brush his teeth before wandering out, but now he was regretting it.

He locked eyes with Taeil, who was already showered and dressed, and froze mid-step.

“Good morning Johnny,” he greeted with a smile and a little head tilt, like it was the most normal thing in the world. It certainly wasn’t. Not for them, at least.

Pulling his feet back together, Johnny stood straight and cleared his throat of sleep. “Morning, Taeil.” He still sounded gruff, but it was clear enough to be understood.

Taeil hummed in acknowledgement before focusing back on his laptop, and Johnny scratched the back of his head as he debated whether to go shower and make himself presentable or just eat first. He’d never had to worry about seeing Taeil in the mornings until today, but he wasn’t interested in changing his weekend routine to impress him.

Yawning, he let his stomach win over and headed for the kitchen. He’d recently invested in the beginnings of his cooking career, consisting of a liter of milk and two boxes of cereal after Jaehyun had begged him to have something other than coffee for breakfast, and he’d found he enjoyed being self-sustaining for at least one meal a day.

“Can I borrow a bowl, Taeil?” he called over his shoulder. Usually, he was never around to ask so he’d been using it anyways, but it felt wrong to just take one when he was right there.

After a second, Taeil called back, “Yeah, of course. They’re yours, too.”

Johnny went for the cupboard with the bowls to take one out, along with the cereal box from their cupboard and the milk. It was still the only thing he had in the fridge after his disastrous attempt at stir fry, but it was an improvement.

As he poured the milk over the cereal, he wondered why Taeil was suddenly home. Johnny had mostly learned his schedule, or at least when he wasn’t home, but he’d never been around on a Saturday morning before. Grabbing a spoon, he went back into the living room to sit on the couch next to him.

He was glad that Taeil didn’t seem to judge his appearance, even though he was dressed and probably had been for hours. “Not working this morning?” Johnny asked before shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

Taeil didn’t look up from his laptop, but flashed a little smile. “It’s Saturday, isn’t it? No kindergarten today.”

“Ah,” Johnny mumbled, swallowing. Of course there wasn’t. “But what do you usually do on Saturdays, then? I never see you in the mornings.”

“Usually errands, the library, something like that,” he told him. “I like keeping to a routine, getting up at the same time.”

Johnny just nodded, eating his cereal quietly. Besides his classes and practice, he almost never planned anything before the day of. The closest thing he had to a schedule was waking up 30 minutes before whatever his first class was, even if it was in the afternoon. Planning felt suffocating, and Johnny needed a time crunch to get things done anyways. 

“So what’s different today?” he asked Taeil.

He shrugged. “No reason. Just felt like studying at home today.”

Johnny narrowed his eyes.  _ Just felt like it?  _ From how little he actually knew about Taeil, and considering what he’d just told him earlier, that sounded out of character for him. Majorly out of character.

“Is that okay with you?” Taeil looked up at him, catching him off guard.

“Of—Of course! Totally fine,” Johnny exclaimed with a breathy laugh, almost spilling the milk in his bowl. “No, that’s good. Great, actually.”

This would be good, Johnny repeated to himself. Time together was time to get to know each other. Get a little more comfortable so that Johnny didn’t have to feel awkward about seeing him before he’d brushed his teeth that morning. Feel like  _ real roommates,  _ finally _. _

Taeil smiled at him. “Good. What are your plans today?”

“Uh, well, probably the same,” Johnny answered. Truthfully, he was planning on watching TV and ordering food, but he did have a lot of assignments stacking up. That was probably a better choice. “I’m just going to shower and stuff first.” He spooned the rest of the cereal in his mouth and washed it down with the remaining milk in the bowl before getting up to go back into the kitchen.

As he walked back through the living room to get to the bathroom, he glanced at Taeil curled up in his spot in the couch corner. He looked comfy, legs wrapped in a blanket even though the apartment was always warm (Johnny had offered to turn the heat up more, but he’d declined). He was typing away at something, keys clicking methodically and brows furrowed as his eyes darted across the screen, but he didn’t look as unsettled as Johnny often thought he did. Like a wild animal always looking for an escape route, cornered and defenseless. No, now he was more at ease, not so tense. 

_ Improvement,  _ he thought as he headed into the bathroom to get ready. Johnny didn’t feel as tense either, like he had to watch his every move around him, worried about overstepping. Maybe they wouldn’t be like this forever, there was space to make progress now. It was within reach.

\-----------------------------

Towel-dried hair flopping in his eyes, Johnny dropped his laptop and notebook on the couch before taking a seat beside them. He sat criss-cross on the cushion, tucking his bare feet under his legs to keep them warm and pulling his laptop into his lap. He usually needed coffee to motivate him to even open his college portal, but today he had an unusual energy boost to make up for it.

The clicking keys next to him died down. “How’re classes going so far?” Taeil asked in the silence.

“Oh, they’re okay.” Johnny watched the Outlook app expand from the dock, a glaring red  _ twelve _ showing how many messages he’d ignored over the last few days. With a sigh, he clicked the oldest one to start skimming.

“Doesn’t sound that good,” Taeil chuckled. Johnny exhaled a laugh, but it was clearly forced.

“Maybe, yeah. It’s definitely harder than last year.” The message was extra guidance for their final project in his finance class, the one he was dreading the most. “I love my business classes, but I can’t stand the other compulsory ones I’m taking this year. Finance is awful,” he admitted. 

“I’d help if I could,” Taeil offered, and Johnny nodded. He really felt like Taeil would. 

“I appreciate it. How’s the kid teaching going?”

Taeil broke into laughter and Johnny beamed, happy he didn’t take offense to it. “It’s going good. I’m enjoying actually getting to teach this year instead of just making lesson plans to use on my peers. Pretending to be a kindergartener for two years gets a little degrading.”

Johnny chuckled, looking up to see Taeil was already looking back at him and met his warm eyes. “I get that. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

Taeil smiled at him before glancing back to his screen, and Johnny followed suit. Feeling a little more confident and determined to be productive with his day, he flagged the finance project email to go back to later and moved on. Wallowing on it wasn’t going to do him good, he just needed to work on something he enjoyed to get the ball rolling.

The next message was a reminder for a deadline in his business management class. He hadn’t started the assignment yet, but he could tackle it in a day if he actually focused. Today felt like a good day to do it.

“Do you mind if I play some music?” Johnny asked, glancing over to him. “It helps me work.”

Taeil didn’t answer for a second, and Johnny could see his jaw clench before he looked up. The familiar feeling that he had overstepped again settled in his stomach, unwelcome and heavy.

“Forget it. Forget I asked, really,” he rushed to say, panicked, before Taeil could get up and leave. He had been doing so good, respecting his space and being careful, why did he have to push it and—

Right as he was about to apologize again, Taeil interrupted his thoughts. “It’s okay, Johnny. I actually prefer the silence, but if you could just… use headphones?” he suggested hesitantly. He’d made no effort to get up or move at all, just watching him with careful consideration. 

Johnny swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to push away the reflexive alarm that had bubbled up. “I can do that, yeah. Sorry.” He slowly set his laptop to the side so he could go find his earbuds. He needed a break anyways.

“Thanks for asking me first,” Taeil said as he stood up.

Johnny tipped his head silently, embarrassed by how red he was sure his cheeks had gone as he ducked into the hall. It was a simple question that Taeil had politely compromised with him on, why had he gotten so worked up? 

His bag was leaning against his desk, and he knelt down to rifle through it. After he pulled out his earbuds, he sat back on his heels to suck in another breath and roll his neck around. He needed to relax. Taeil wasn’t going anywhere, and it would take time to learn each other’s preferences and lifestyles. He wasn’t expected to know this stuff without them talking about it first. 

After he’d given himself a little mental pep talk, Johnny went back into the main room with his earbuds. Waving them in the air as he sat down, Taeil smiled at him.

“Thanks, Johnny.”

“It’s no problem, really,” he assured him, sticking them in his ears and getting back to work.

To his surprise, he got more done in a few hours than he ever did with Jaehyun and the others at the library in a whole day. The minutes flew by as the shadows cast from the window moved across the floor and they worked silently on their laptops. Occasionally, Johnny would get up to stretch and walk around or get distracted by his phone for a bit, but he didn’t have much trouble focusing on his assignment.

By the time Johnny looked up again, the sun was nearly set and Taeil had gotten up to turn the lights on. The clock read 5:16pm, and he was starving.

Shoving his laptop off his lap, he stuck his legs out and his arms over his head, stretching out his sore limbs. “I think that’s enough for now,” he said through a yawn, making it barely understandable.

From his corner, Taeil chuckled. “You worked hard today, good job.”

“I take it this is a normal day for you?” Johnny asked. Something told him 5 hours of studying wasn’t that impressive to Taeil.

Confirming his suspicion, Taeil didn’t correct him. “But I take it this isn’t normal for you,” he said instead, “so that deserves some recognition, then.”

Taeil spoke casually, not even bothering to look up from his screen, but Johnny took each word to heart. He smiled to himself, staring at the floor as he basked in the first compliment Taeil had ever given him. He  _ had  _ worked hard today, but those four words from his mouth brought more satisfaction than the hours he’d spent on the business project did.

A little later, after Johnny had wasted some time on his phone, he decided he was too hungry to wait for dinner. “I think I’m gonna order food now. Do you want anything?” he asked, scrolling through the delivery app.

“I’m okay, I’ve got stuff to eat.”

Johnny hummed, expecting it. He settled on black bean noodles, placing the order and then tossing his phone down to go and plug his laptop in. He debated staying in his room and finding something to watch on his laptop, but he felt a little bad leaving Taeil all alone in the living room when he was actually home  _ and  _ willing to spend time with him for once, so he left his laptop to charge in his room. 

“Do you mind if I turn the TV on? I can turn the volume down,” he asked Taeil when he came back in, flopping on the couch.

Taeil shook his head before he answered, still typing. “Go ahead, I’m nearly done with this.”

Grabbing the remote, Johnny settled back and flipped through the channels to find the new episode of the drama he and Jaehyun were casually watching. It was already around 20 minutes in, but he wasn’t that attached.

He didn’t want to bother Taeil while he was still working, so Johnny stayed silent as the episode played, half of his attention on his phone. Questions popped into his head one by one as it continued.  _ Did he and Yuta like to watch dramas? Did he watch dramas in general? Did he watch TV at all? _

From there, it spiraled into every single thing Johnny had ever wondered about him but been too scared to ask, should it upset him and send him running to his room again. They’d had such a good day, too, and Johnny didn’t want to risk ruining it.

Just then, Taeil shut his laptop screen and glanced up at him. “Done.”

Unsure of what to say, Johnny just gave him a thumbs up and Taeil laughed. He set his laptop on the coffee table and stretched out his legs, making a little noise as he did that made Johnny crack a smile as he kept his eyes on the TV screen.

“Since you’re eating soon,” Taeil started, throwing the blanket off his legs to stand up, “I’ll warm up my food, too.”

The thought of eating together for the first time made a little part of Johnny giddy with excitement, even though it wasn’t that big of a deal. He and Jaehyun had eaten nearly every meal together the year before without fail, whether it be in the dining hall or takeout or microwaved ramen at 3am. Eating alone still felt a little strange to him, so Taeil suddenly offering it was as relieving as it was progress. This was a _whole day_ of firsts for them. 

Perfectly on time, their doorbell buzzed and Johnny jumped up to answer it. He greeted the delivery guy and accepted the plastic bag of food with a curt bow before closing the door again to bring it into the kitchen.

Taeil was heating up some sort of stew on the cooktop, leaning against the counter as he dropped the bag on the counter to pull out the container of noodles.

“Looks yummy,” Taeil commented as he popped the lid off, and Johnny breathed it in deeply.

“It’s a comfort food.” Johnny got out a bowl from the cabinet to dump the noodles in and hastily mix the black beans in before swirling a mouthful around his chopsticks.

“You can go sit, you know,” Taeil teased him lightly, and Johnny hummed around the food in his mouth.

“Waihng fo you,” he got out before nearly choking from the face Taeil pulled at him, ducking away to stifle his laughter.

“Go sit, Johnny, before you make a mess.” Taeil ushered him towards the living room, but his amusement was evident. “This is almost ready.”

Obediently, Johnny slipped out of the kitchen to sit on the couch again, where the drama was still playing. He turned the volume up a bit now that they were finished working and stuffed his cheeks with more noodles.

A few minutes later, Taeil came in with his steaming soup and a smaller bowl of rice, setting them down on the coffee table. Instead of sitting on the couch, he sat on the rug and leaned against the base so that he could reach the bowls easily. From there he looked even smaller, chin hovering just above the food. He caught Johnny off guard when he turned around to glance up at him.

“What’s this drama about? I’ve never heard of it.”

Johnny took a second to process the question, staring back at him tucked between the couch and the table and looking up at him patiently as he tried to recall the synopsis.

“Uh… it’s about this girl, and she likes this guy but this other guy is…” Johnny tried to piece together the bits of episodes he’d actually paid attention to, but apparently it wasn’t much. “Honestly, it’s a pretty stereotypical drama plot. That girl—He pointed to the actress on screen—she’s the main one, and those two guys are passive-aggressively fighting over her.” 

Taeil snorted at his short, extremely unhelpful run down of the plot, and Johnny felt his cheeks flush. “Sounds like you know about as much as I do,” Taeil said, and Johnny dropped his head in embarrassment.

It settled his nerves to hear Taeil chuckling quietly as his spoon scraped the sides of his ceramic rice bowl. It matched his soup bowl, of course, and Johnny’s bowl as well, but he didn’t find it as weird as he did on the first day. They were a deep blue color, faded towards the middle and speckled like an eggshell. He still didn’t understand Taeil’s obsession with matching dishes, but it was starting to grow on him. He liked having dishes to use in general this year anyways.

They continued to watch the drama with only the sounds of utensils echoing in the room as they ate their individual dinners. The most Taeil said was a quiet  _ oooh  _ at the cliffhanger moment as the episode ended, but neither of them were invested enough to really care.

Johnny was expecting Taeil to get up and leave after it finished, his food gone and bowls cleaned, but he never moved. The credits passed quickly, followed by the advertising break, and then the next program started as they sat there in silence. He stole quick glances over at him, afraid to speak up and drag Taeil back to wherever it was that made him so wary of letting Johnny in.

Just then, Taeil cleared his throat and got his legs underneath him to stand up. He stretched them out, sore from sitting on the floor so long, and then turned around to grab his dishes. Slightly disappointed, Johnny watched out of the corner of his eye and wondered when the right time to say goodnight was, and if he should add something like  _ thanks for spending time with me tonight. _

“Why’re you pouting?”

Johnny’s head shot up, locking eyes with Taeil, who was suddenly standing right in front of him. “P-pouting?” he stuttered. “I wasn’t.” Then he noticed Taeil’s outstretched hand, palm turned up and clearly held out for him. Was he asking him to follow?  _ Holding hands? _

“Uh…,” Johnny mumbled, feeling his palms prickle with nervous sweat as he moved to set his bowl down. Besides his baby brother, he hadn’t held someone’s hand in a long time. “Sorry if my—”

Johnny cut himself off, watching in shock as Taeil swiftly dodged his lifting hand to pick up the bowl he’d just set down on the couch to stack in his own. 

“Huh?” Taeil’s eyes were narrowed in confusion as he stood straight again, knees nearly bumping with Johnny’s bent ones. When Johnny didn’t answer, he turned to head towards the kitchen with the dirty bowls. “What were you saying?”

_ He’d just wanted his empty bowl.  _ Johnny could melt into the floorboards, he was so mortified. Why would he have wanted his hand? He rubbed his clammy palms on his thighs, feeling the skin all the way down his neck flush with embarrassment.

Taeil’s head popped around the corner of the kitchen again. “Hm?”

“Oh, uh, it was nothing,” Johnny said quietly, hoping he would drop it. “Do you have anything you wanna watch?” he called over the sound of the running tap.

Luckily, Taeil didn’t comment on the change of subject. The water turned off and he reappeared a few seconds later, drying his hands with a towel. “No, not really. You can pick something.”

Picking was a lot of pressure, so Johnny just skimmed the channels for something mildly interesting. He’d just settled on a variety show with some faces he recognized when Taeil walked back in.

“Thanks for washing the dishes,” Johnny said, and Taeil just smiled.

“One more isn’t a big deal,” he replied, pulling the blanket over his legs again.

“Still.” It was a small gesture, but one Johnny could appreciate more because he’d always hated washing dishes. “Do you mind this?” He nodded to the screen.

Taeil stuck his bottom lip out and shrugged. “I’ve never seen it. I’m sure it’s fine.”

Johnny cracked a smile at his response before turning back to watch. He didn’t make it more than 5 minutes before he lost focus.

Without the food to distract them, he was much more aware of Taeil’s presence in the room and questions started running through his mind again. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to ask a few harmless ones to break the ice a little.

“Do you have any shows you like?” Johnny asked casually. It was an innocent attempt to get to know him better, maybe find some things they had in common. They could surely use that.

He thought Taeil hadn’t heard him for a moment, but then he pursed his lips and hummed. “Well, I don’t have much time for TV anymore, if I’m honest. I used to like  _ Hello Baby  _ though, or  _ The Return of Superman _ .”

Happy to have actually gotten an answer, Johnny broke into a grin at his choices. “You really like kids, huh?” he commented.

Taeil laughed softly. “Yeah, you could say that. I think those shows helped get me on this path.”

“That’s nice,” Johnny said, thinking about what shows he’d watched most as a kid to find something relatable. “My life goal when I was twelve was to be on  _ Running Man _ . I was determined to be the next Lee Kwangsoo.”

Johnny jumped in his seat when Taeil burst into laughter, but it quickly melted into relief. He hadn’t even meant it to be that funny.

“Are you serious?” Taeil asked one breath, still grinning.

“I wish I was lying, honestly.” He watched with pride as Taeil broke into giggles again, falling back against the couch. “When that dream got unrealistic, I settled for decent grades and a degree instead.”

“Hey, you never know.” Taeil raised an eyebrow at him. “I could get you in with Yuta, he’s worked with some of those shows. He writes great recommendation letters, too, or so I’ve heard.”

“Oh, could he!” Johnny feigned giddiness, clasping his hands together as if to beg for the referral and turning big, hopeful eyes on Taeil, lips pinched tight to hold his character. He playfully swatted at Johnny’s arm, shoving him back a little before they both crumbled in laughter.

As they caught their breath, they settled down for a moment and turned back to the TV with a new feeling of comfort, an added level of ease with each other.

“Should we watch an old episode of Running Man, then?” Taeil suggested.

Johnny grinned at his offer. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He grabbed the remote again. “I actually haven’t seen it in ages.”

Picking one from 2012, they both cowered at the first sight of the recurring cast. “Oh my god, their hair!” Johnny wailed, dragging a hand through his own in disbelief. “Why was that attractive back then?”

“Look at Kwangsoo’s shorts,” Taeil pointed out, peeking through gaps in his fingers covering his face. They were polyester, but he had paired them with a leather belt hiked over his hips and in the ugliest wallpaper pattern he’d ever seen. “Oh my god, I feel bad for him knowing this will always be on the internet.” 

“They’re horrendous,” Johnny agreed immediately, groaning with secondhand embarrassment. “He was my role model, I can’t believe it.” 

“Hopefully not your fashion role model too,” Taeil teased, and then covered his mouth to stifle his laughter when Johnny’s glance gave him the answer to his question.

“He was so cool back then!” Johnny tried to defend, but Taeil’s head was buried in his blanket, muffled noises making him laugh at his own expense.

When he raised his head again, his cheeks were flushed high and bright, both from laughing and lack of air. “I’m sorry, it’s just—” Looking at Johnny sent him into another fit, and he sucked in a deep breath before starting again. “I’m not making fun of you, I just wish I could’ve seen you in those shorts 10 years ago.”

Seeing Taeil so giggly and playful made Johnny’s own cheeks warm, and he grinned despite being the subject of the joke. “I probably have photos in a similar pair. I’ll have to ask my mom.”

Taeil’s laughter calmed, but he was still smiling at him. “That would be fun.” He paused, glancing at the floor for a second before turning back. “Do you have a lot of pictures from when you were a kid?” 

Johnny’s brows furrowed a little at the sudden change in tone, but he nodded. “Yeah, my dad took lots of photos and videos. Especially when my little brother was born.”

Taeil hummed as he listened. “How old is your brother?”

“Just turned 10 this summer. Donghyuck can be a brat when he wants to be, but we’ve always gotten along well.” Johnny smiled weakly to himself, the familiar twinge of homesickness wriggling its way up into his chest again.

“You must miss him, huh?”

Johnny glanced up at Taeil’s comment, reading sympathy in his eyes. “Yeah, I do. More than my parents sometimes,” he said, before correcting himself with a short laugh, “most of the time, actually.”

He rarely got choked up over missing his family, but he’d been so busy since coming back that he hadn’t had any time to really miss them. Thinking about them made him realize he hadn’t called his mom in weeks, or asked his dad for help understanding his car insurance, or even sent Donghyuck a cool photo he’d taken of a random city thing that was normal for Seoul but fascinating for him. (The mask vending machines were his favorite.)

“Johnny?” Then, softer, “Are you okay?”

He sniffled wetly, tipping his head back to blink his watery eyes rapidly before looking back at him and forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry,” he mumbled, voice still a little shaky.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.” Taeil’s voice was gentle and steady, and even though there wasn’t any physical touch, Johnny felt comforted. “It must be hard to be so far away from them,” he continued softly, not so much a question as it was a reminder that he had reason to be sad.

“It’s not even that far.” Johnny let out a weak laugh. “Like an hour and a half at most. Maybe two with traffic.”

“They’re still in a different place,” Taeil told him. “It’s hard to have people you love be far away, especially ones you’ve lived with.”

Johnny nodded, feeling like Taeil really understood what he was feeling. “How often do you visit your family? Where do they live?”

“It’s just my mother,” Taeil said, and Johnny’s eyes widened. “She lives outside of Paju.”

His tone made Johnny think twice about his choice of words. “Just your mom?” he repeated.

Taeil nodded once, choosing not to elaborate. Johnny didn’t push him.

“Ah,” he hummed. “When was the last time you went h—” He stopped, rephrasing. “…There?”

Taeil exhaled a sharp breath, shoulders jerking slightly. “2 years.”

_ Since he came here,  _ Johnny pieced together. It wasn’t that far out of Seoul, so he must have good reason not to go back. He didn’t know exactly how to reply, and he’s sure Taeil could tell that too, but he’s doing his best not to push his boundary. It was his choice how much he wanted to share, Johnny wanted him to know that.

“She visits me sometimes, when she decides she has the time,” Taeil told him with a shrug. “It’s been less and less as the years pass.” He talked like it was a distant relative, like one of Johnny’s crazy aunts that they only saw at Christmas, not his own mother.

“I see,” Johnny hummed. Part of him felt like he should be listening carefully and taking in every detail to understand Taeil a little more, but the other part felt like this wasn’t something he was meant to know. Like he had cornered Taeil when he was weak and defenseless, squeezing it out of him, and that he should forget it all tomorrow.

“It’s okay, Johnny. My mother isn’t really what your family is to you, but that’s okay.” His tongue had a hint of bitterness, but he knew Taeil meant it to be soothing. 

_ These are my problems, not yours. Don’t burden yourself with worrying about them, or me. _

Johnny listened, but he didn’t feel like he could agree or disagree. From what little he knew about Taeil, he could tell he wanted no sympathy or pity for his confession. This was a trial, and he would do his best to show his support in the ways Taeil needed it, even if it meant none at all.

“Is Yuta like family to you?” Johnny asked. He knew they’d been friends for a long time, but he wasn’t sure how close that actually was. “You must have someone you care about.”

At the mention of his name, Taeil smiled gently. “Yes. He’s just like family. He’s always been there.”

Johnny perked up at that, a little soothed. “You should invite him here more often. He’s always welcome, you know. I don’t mind at all.”

Taeil hummed in acknowledgement. “I know, I appreciate it.” He flashed Johnny a small smile, lips curving for just a second. “He likes you a lot.”

Flustered, Johnny laughed awkwardly. “That’s—That’s good, I guess? I mean, yeah. I like him too.”

Taeil chuckled, fiddling with the hem of his blanket. The show still playing filled the silence that settled over them, but Johnny was too focused on Taeil to hear it. More questions than he had started the evening with were stacking up as he learned bits and pieces about him.  _ Why were you so cold before? Why is it only Yuta, no one else? What happened with your mom? _

Each one sat heavy in his head, but he felt like maybe enough had been shared for one day. He didn’t want to push Taeil to run again, so he was content to hold his insatiable curiosity in for now.

\------------------------------

Johnny was surprised when the episode came to an end around an hour later and Taeil was still there. He was even more surprised when the countdown started for the next episode and Taeil turned to him and said, “Do you want to watch another?”

For once, it was him who wanted to retire to his bedroom early that night. The sudden role flip made Johnny almost nervous to answer because of how purely out of character it felt. “Uh, I might call it a day, actually.” He glanced at Taeil from the corner of his eye. “If that’s okay with you?”

Taeil seemed surprised for a moment, but nodded abruptly. “Yeah, of course. That’s fine, it’s probably late anyways.”

Johnny’s phone screen read 8:07, but he hummed in agreement. As he reached to turn the TV off, Taeil stood up from the couch.

“I just need to put the dishes away before I go to bed,” he told him. He was halfway to the kitchen when Johnny launched up in front of him.

“Wait! Let me do it,” he said, cutting in front as Taeil stood back, startled. “You know, since you washed them and everything,” he explained.

Taeil narrowed his eyes, trying to step around him. “It’s not that h—”

“I’ll do it! One second, okay?” Johnny made sure Taeil wasn’t going to follow him before he turned and went into the kitchen. Taeil had done him a huge favor by washing them, and the least he could do in return was dry and put them away again. Plus, he wanted to show Taeil he wasn’t  _ completely _ useless in the kitchen.

Their bowls were sitting on the drying rack, but when he picked one up, it was still a little wet. Determined to do it perfectly, he dug through the drawers to find a clean kitchen towel and wiped Taeil’s rice bowl entirely. He found its matching siblings in the cabinet and placed it very carefully on top of them before returning for the next thing.

He took their cutlery and wrapped it in the towel as well, rubbing it around before putting them back in the jar where the others were. All that was left were the bowls.

Confident in his dish-drying abilities now, he went for the first bowl with one hand instead of two. He hadn’t anticipated how much heavier the larger bowl was going to be, and it was slippery when he went to flip it over to dry it with the other hand. 

So slippery, in fact, that it slipped right out of his hands.

As soon as he felt it falling, Johnny’s heart leapt into his throat. It wasn’t just any bowl, these were  _ Taeil’s bowls,  _ a vital part of a matching set. A gaping hole that would forever be noticeable when the cabinet was open. He couldn’t let that happen.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t really Johnny’s choice anymore. As soon as it left his grip, gravity had full control over its untimely end, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t try. He nearly caught it, too. 

Nearly. The bowl shattered immediately upon impact with the corner of the countertop as he tried to grab the side again, his palm meeting sharp, jagged shards instead. He yanked his hand back with a gasp, curling it into him as he stared in disbelief at the mess on the counter and the floor around his feet.

As soon as he realized what had happened, what he’d done, an icy chill spread through his chest, tightly bound and suffocating. He vaguely registered a thump and quick footsteps, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scattered pieces of light blue, speckled and delicate.  _ Taeil was going to be furious. _

“Johnny.” It came out in an exhale, clear enough to drag him out of his haze but sharp enough to pierce his heart further. Johnny knew he was standing there, a few feet away, but he didn’t want to look up at him. 

Taeil sounded disappointed, like a parent walking in on a child misbehaving, standing there in the arch of their kitchen entryway with wide eyes flitting between the floor and his face.

He sounded let down. Tears sprung to Johnny’s eyes.

“I’m—I’m sorry.” The words stuck in his throat, and he choked on them as he tried to snap himself out of it. 

He felt so dumb and childish for crying because he didn’t deserve pity. _He_ had messed up, _he_ had broken the bowl. It was Taeil who should be upset and angry, but why won’t his tears stop?

“I’m sor-sorry,” he sniffled again, weaker this time. He couldn’t look Taeil in the eyes, so he tucked his chin into his chest, biting harshly on his lip to muffle the pathetic sounds he couldn’t control. “I didn’t me-ean to, it just sli-ipped.” With his free hand, he tried to collect the larger pieces into a pile.

He’d only gotten one or two before a hand caught his own, dragging him up and off the floor. When he refused to look up, two fingers and a thumb wrapped around his chin, forcing him to.

Taeil looked back at him with clear, focused eyes. It made him feel even weaker, even more childish, made the strangled sounds coming from his closed-up throat even more painful.

He tried to fight Taeil’s grip to start cleaning it up again, mumbling more broken apologies, but he held strong. “Johnny, hey. Listen to me,” he spoke softly, but it made him lock up. “You’re hurt, forget about the bowl.”

When Taeil placed a gentle hand on the one he cradled against his chest, still wrapped in the dish towel, he flinched in pain. In the panic of the aftermath, Johnny had completely forgotten about his hand, but now that he was aware of it again, a dull, burning pain licked up his wrist and he clenched his teeth.

He allowed Taeil to pull him over to the sink, stepping over the mess and slowly removing the towel that now stuck to his palm where it was gashed.

“It’s not too deep, you won’t need…,” he heard Taeil start to say before he stopped listening. It didn’t bring him any relief. He wasn’t worried about the cut.

He felt tiny twinges in his hand that sent up shooting stabs of pain, but he didn’t have the energy to fight it. He watched the thick droplets hit the sink basin methodically before Taeil held it under the gentle stream, turning it red for a split second. The cold water stung a little, but eventually he went numb as the initial shock wore off and he slumped against the counter.

When the faucet shut off, two small hands wrapped around his elbows and pulled him. He surrendered, letting them guide him out of the bright lights of the kitchen and into the other room, backing him up until his heels hit cushion and he fell against the couch.

“Sit,” he was commanded, and so he sat. He stared at the floor, head spinning with guilt and exhaustion and  _ embarrassment _ . His sobs had calmed to an occasional wet sniffle, but his chest ached from the binds it had been wrapped in, throat raw. All he could think about was the pretty blue bowl in tiny pieces across the kitchen floor, dropped from his clumsy hands.

It was so much more than a bowl.

When Taeil returned, he set a first aid kit on the floor beside him as he knelt without question, pulling Johnny’s hand out where he could work on it.

A little more conscious, Johnny tried to speak again. “You don’t have to do it, I can do it mys—”

“Johnny,” Taeil interrupted him with a glance that said more. “Let me.”

Seemingly well-versed with the components of the kit, he smeared something from a tube on his palm and then covered it with a bandage. He wrapped it once, twice, and then secured it around his wrist. Johnny reminded himself to ask later why Taeil was so good at this. 

When he was finished, Taeil sat back on his heels and looked up at him. “Are you feeling a little better now?” he asked, and even though it was clear that he wasn’t upset, Johnny still felt guilty.

He kept his eyes down as he nodded. “‘m sorry,” he mumbled, “for being like a kid. Overreacting.”

“You weren’t being like a kid. It was an accident and you got hurt, you don’t need to apologize for it,” Taeil told him firmly, but he set a hand on his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. A little of the tension in Johnny’s chest melted away as he did.

Not all of it, though. “But I broke a bowl,” he whispered, throat growing tight again and he knew Taeil could hear it in his voice but he pushed on. “One of the nice ones. The matching ones.”

He stole a sheepish glance up at Taeil through his eyelashes, and he was waiting for him. Eyes locked on his, he said, “It’s just a bowl, Johnny. I have others, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay, I’m not upset.” 

He needed to hear him say it. No matter how much his conscious was screaming at him that _this is childish_ and _you’re being_ _irritating,_ Johnny raised his head a little more. “You’re not?”

Taeil let out a little chuckle, his lips curving slightly, but it wasn’t patronizing in the slightest. “No, I’m not. I promise. You don’t have to worry, okay?”

Even if Johnny didn’t really believe him, it took a lot of the weight off his shoulders. He could breathe easier, the constraints of guilt uncoiled. “Okay,” he repeated, sucking a deep breath into his sore lungs, blissfully free of sniffles.

“Okay,” Taeil said again, sounding relieved too. He patted his leg once before moving back to stand up. “I’m going to go clean it up, and you’re not going to move.”

“But I—”

“Nope. You’re not touching it, Johnny, don’t even try,” Taeil whipped around to cut him off, sticking out an accusatory finger as he disappeared into the kitchen.

He slumped back against the couch with a groan. He wasn’t winning against him, and he didn’t have the energy to fight regardless. Besides, a few minutes alone gave him plenty of time to realize how much he had to tell Jaehyun, and also how embarrassed he was going to be when he had to face Taeil tomorrow. 

To distract himself from that for a little longer, he listened to the shards crackling against each other on the tile floor as Taeil brushed them into a dustpan to dispose of.

“Careful with your fingers, Taeil,” he called, and got a  _ mmm  _ in reply.

“You’re one to talk,” Taeil called back, and Johnny rolled his eyes as his head popped around the corner with a teasing smile.

Once it was mostly cleared, he darted into the living room to get the vacuum and bring it back in, running it over quickly. “Just gonna wipe it down, and then it’s done,” he told Johnny before grabbing a wet rag to get any last tiny pieces.

When he was done, he tossed it in the washing machine and washed his hands before returning to where Johnny was still sitting. By then, it was nearly 9, and they were both drooping with exhaustion.

“Thanks for cleaning up,” Johnny said quietly. “…Again.”

“Hey, if it was just me, I’d be doing the cleaning up every night,” Taeil said.

“If it was just you, there wouldn’t be a broken bowl in a paper bag by the bins,” Johnny grumbled, brows furrowed as he fiddled with the bandage around his hand.

“Maybe,” Taeil smiled, exhaling a sharp laugh. “But you’ll have plenty of chances to clean all you want when your hand is healed.” As he said it, he pulled Johnny’s meddling fingers away from it. “And if you want it to heal, don’t mess with it.”

Johnny huffed, but followed his instructions. “I’m tired.”

“Let’s go to bed, then.” Taeil stepped back so Johnny could stand up and lead the way, but it took him a second.  _ Let’s go to bed, then.  _

Taeil raised his brows at him in question, waiting for him to move. Johnny shook his head to clear it and then got up, Taeil falling in step behind him down the hall. It was his turn to wait by the light switch for Johnny to reach his room.

He turned back as soon as he did. “Night, Taeil. Thanks again for…,” he waved a hand weakly, and Taeil seemed to get the message.

“Goodnight, Johnny. See you tomorrow,” he smiled gently.

After he shut his door, Johnny stood by it for a second to listen for the click of the light switch and then the soft pad of Taeil’s feet past his room and into his own. 

Instead of making him feel anxious, or like he was spying on the other, the sounds now gave him comfort. Maybe Taeil wasn’t so different from him.

Maybe his first impression wasn’t so accurate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pros of living with a kindergarten teacher when you have a (maybe) anxiety-induced meltdown? :3
> 
> thank you so much for reading, let me know what you think about the little bits and pieces johnny is learning about taeil and how their dynamic is changing! also, the next chapter will be much sooner than last time, see you soon~
> 
> (also, this holiday season has been different for a lot of us. wherever you are, i hope you're keeping healthy and taking care of yourself! sending love, support, and an early merry christmas/happy holidays to you all!)


	7. A Surprise Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny has a few texts ignored, a surprise call received, and then a reply that catches him off guard. Taeil also meets Donghyuck, and no amount of teacher training could prepare him for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe welcome back friends to the latest installment of johnil's slow road to mutual pining!! (pretend it is not a week late because i'll be honest i've scrapped the schedule and i will be posting when i'm happy with the chapter)
> 
> enter sassy little brother donghyuck! i won't be tagging this as a kidfic because there will be very little of him in the grand scheme and certainly no child-HAVING in his work, but he's got an important role doing what kids do best: being extremely blunt and loosening tension without intent. and we all know johnil could use a little tension loosening :D
> 
> anyways, i hope you'll enjoy this chapter! and i'm sorry in advance for ~~the cliffh~~... the ending :3 no additional tags or warnings, see you in the next one~

Johnny slept like a rock, so exhausted that it took his phone buzzing off his nightstand to even rouse him. He rolled over at the noise, slowly regaining consciousness as he rubbed at his face, and the first thing he noticed was how itchy his palm was. Opening his hand to find gauze wrapped around it, he was confused for half a second. Then, as the events of the night before came back to him in an avalanche, he dropped his head back against his pillow with a groan.

His throat was still dry and his eyes felt puffy, and he had no desire to look in the mirror and see the state of his reflection. For once, he was grateful that Taeil would be gone already and he wouldn’t have to face him yet.

He reached out for his phone, looking over when his hand hit an empty table with confusion. He could hear it vibrating sporadically, and he leaned over the edge of the bed to find it face down on the carpet. He pulled it up by the charging cable and started to scroll through the messages.

 **Mark [12:16pm]**  
what are u guys up to today?  
wanna hang here? my mom dropped off some food

 **Jungwoo [12:16pm]**  
a shit ton of food actually

 **Mark [12:16pm]**  
yeah it's a lot  
and it won't fit in our fridge

 **Jungwoo [12:17pm]**  
and u guys have nothing better to do on a sunday afternoon

 **Jungwoo [12:25pm]**  
??????

 **Jungwoo [12:30pm]**  
offering free food??? and ur gonna ghost me?????  
really?????????

 **Jungwoo [12:42pm]**  
u have 3 minutes to reply before i retract my offer

 **Mark [12:43pm]**  
your offer?? bro it’s MY mom  
i don’t even have to share it with you

 **Jungwoo [12:44pm]**  
.......  
mark’s very kind offer**

 **Jungwoo [12:45pm]**  
they’re not answering

 **Mark [12:45pm]**  
why are u texting me like i’m not right here

Johnny chuckled at their messages as he skimmed the rest of them, but his stomach growled at the mention of fresh, home-cooked food.

 **Johnny [1:20pm]**  
sorry, just woke up  
can be over in 30 min

The message was read as soon as he sent it, and Jungwoo started typing immediately. Then the typing bubble disappeared, and the chat was empty for a moment, and then it reappeared.

 **Jungwoo [1:21pm]**  
we don’t want u cheater  
late night and no invite?

 **Johnny [1:22pm]**  
i didn't go anywhere  
had an… incident last night

 **Jungwoo [1:22pm]**  
incident with TAEIL???  
i thought you didn’t like him like that  
or at all actually

 **Mark [1:22pm]**  
shit are you okay?  
wait  
woo?!??!!?

 **Johnny [1:23pm]**  
yeah i’m fine now mark don’t worry  
also ???? not what i meant???? at all????

 **Jungwoo [1:23pm]**  
my bad for wanting u to get laid  
anyways  
where’s jae

 **Mark [1:24pm]**  
??/????1/!??!!

 **Johnny [1:24pm]**  
jungwoo What the Fuck  
he’s my roommate???

 **Jungwoo [1:25pm]**  
so?????????

 **Mark [1:25pm]**  
ANYWAYS  
idk where jae is but come over anytime

Johnny left their group chat to find his individual one with Jaehyun. He called his number and let it ring for a few seconds, but there was no answer. Frowning, he hung up early and went back to the group.

 **Johnny [1:26pm]**  
weird he’s not answering  
doyoung must’ve confiscated his phone  
bet he put his feet on the couch again hhahah

 **Mark [1:27pm]**  
watch it  
he’ll kill u when he reads these

Johnny laughed at Mark’s messages, flinging his feet out of the covers to get up. He ruffled his hair over his forehead a little as he entered the hallway, but as expected, the apartment was silent. He’d slept in so long that the bathroom was already cold again when he walked in, shower completely dry and Taeil’s peppermint shampoo absent from the air.

Johnny quickly showered, careful to remove the gauze and gingerly wash his hair with his other hand before covering it with another bandage. The cut wasn’t too deep and whatever salve Taeil had applied did wonders, so he just left it with a bandaid and got dressed to leave. He checked his weather app as a last thought, and grabbed a beanie on his way out of his room because the weather had been getting colder and he didn’t particularly feel like freezing his ears off on the walk to Mark and Jungwoo’s.

Throwing his keys in his pocket and slinging a jacket over his shoulders, he shot Mark a quick text to let him know he was on his way. As he headed towards the front door, he noticed a neon green piece of paper stuck to it, a few inches below his eye level.

Grinning, he walked up to it to pull it off. The first thing he registered was a smiley face.

_At school to prep for the coming week.  
Be careful with your hand, it should  
be okay to wash now. See you later :]  
-Taeil_

Johnny held the sticky note closer as he read it over and over again. A small message of where he was going to be for the day, a gentle reminder to take care of himself, and a dorky bracket smiley face that Johnny hadn’t used since middle school. Stuck right to the door where Johnny would see it before he left.

He took it with him as he walked out the door and down to the street, glancing back and forth between the smiley face and the signature, jotted quickly and letters melting together in a messy sort of cursive that reminded him of a teacher’s handwriting, so perfectly fitting. He wondered what his own name would look like in the flowy script.

Suddenly, his shoulder collided with another pedestrian. They both stumbled back, the other man muttering something at Johnny for not looking where he was going, but he was too busy flailing for the sticky note that had been knocked out of his hands before it was lost in the nippy breeze. He snatched it out of the air, heaving a sigh of relief as he bowed to the man respectfully before hurrying off down the road, hands tucked into his pockets safely. 

He all but ran the rest of the way to Jungwoo and Mark’s apartment, early winter air turning his cheeks and nose pink and his breath into vapor. Safely indoors again, he took his hands out of his pockets to fold the note twice over to tuck it into his wallet.

Mark swung the door open before he’d even removed his finger from their buzzer and greeted him with arms immediately around his neck, sending him stumbling back.

“Whoa, Mark, hey,” Johnny half laughed and half wheezed, bringing one arm up to stop them both from toppling sideways. When Mark detached himself as quickly as he’d come to dart back into the apartment, Johnny followed him into the entryway. “What was that about?”

“Jungwoo is driving me insane,” Mark told him under his breath. True to his word, Mark did look frazzled. He had his glasses on instead of contacts, and his hair had clearly been rubbed and twisted until it stuck up in multiple directions, like little demon horns.

Johnny stifled laughter, and Mark huffed. “More than usual?” Johnny asked as he slipped his shoes off. Mark seemed to ponder it for a second, but then he nodded.

“He’s had three cups of coffee since 10am. I considered drugging the third one, but he chugged it so fast I didn’t even get the chance.” The main room was empty and quiet, and Mark scanned behind them like Jungwoo could jump out at any second.

“God, you’ve got your hands full,” Johnny chuckled. “Where’s the gremlin, then?”

Mark stepped further into the room, leaning forward hesitantly to glance down the hallway. “He was just eating a bit ago, then he disappeared.” Mark turned back to walk into the kitchen. “Speaking of, he’s already eaten more than half of the food my mom brought.”

On the counter, Johnny found various sizes of containers with side dishes in them, most with large dents taken out. He picked up a set of chopsticks and brought some bean sprouts to his mouth, leaning against the counter and surveying the other options as he chewed. “How can he even consume anything that fast?” Johnny asked with a laugh, but he was seriously questioning it.

“Dude, I don’t know!” Mark exclaimed, his tone still hushed. “He’s an animal.”

Johnny snorted as he crunched on a chunk of pickled radish. Mark hoisted himself onto the counter opposite him, legs swinging idly and slides falling off his feet to hit the floor below him. “There’s kimchi stew in the fridge if you want some, too.”

Mouth full, Johnny acknowledged his offer with a nod. He was satisfied with mismatched side dishes, and honestly scared to pick up another bowl. 

“So, what happened yesterday? I saw your hand.” Mark read his thoughts, pointing to the bandage. Johnny chewed the rest of his food before answering. 

“Short version is, I dropped a bowl and cut myself trying to clean it up.”

“Ouch,” Mark cringed, face scrunched up. “And the long version?”

Johnny breathed a laugh, feeling his ears heat up as he thought back over what had happened. “Well, first Taeil was home yesterday. Like, the whole day.”

“Oh? So you guys got to hang out a little?” Mark asked. He grinned when Johnny started to nod.

“All day, really. It was nice. I got a lot of work done too, more than I do with you guys.” Johnny picked up some seasoned anchovies with a joking smirk as Mark scoffed at him.

“How’s that our fault! You distract yourself, we have no problem getting plenty of work done,” Mark defended. From his vantage point, he was a tiny bit taller than Johnny, and he sat up straighter to show it off.

Johnny was too busy hunched over the food to really care. This time he went for some stir-fried eggplant coated in a sauce he couldn’t identify but tasted good enough to eat another piece. “Anyways,” he mumbled around the food, “We worked all day, and then he stayed to eat dinner with me in the living room. Like, he ate his food and I ate mine but we _ate_ together. And watched Running Man.”

“Aw, that’s great, dude!” Mark cheered, kicking his socked heels against the cupboard gently. “You guys had a bonding night! Is he better now? Not so… weird?”

“He’s still a little odd. I think he has a lot of, well,” Johnny paused, setting down the chopsticks to lean back against the counter and look at Mark, “I think he had a rough childhood. I’m just getting bits and pieces as he wants to share them, but that’s what I understand. Dad’s out of the picture, mom sounds pretty uninvolved, I’m not really sure.”

Mark hummed as he listened, brows furrowed. “So he’s just, like, traumatized? From a divorce, or that kinda stuff?”

“No, not like that I don’t think. I mean he’s not aggressive or anything, it’s more like he just… grew up a lot faster than the rest of us.” Johnny paused to go over his words, thinking over everything he’d put together over their limited conversations. “And not by choice. Something happened with him and his mom, but I don’t know what.”

They sat in silence for a moment, almost as if they were looking for a way to make up for their mistaken first impressions of Taeil. Johnny felt guilty too, but he knew Taeil had no interest in his or any of their pity.

“So how did you break the bowl?” Mark ventured, pulling his attention back.

“Oh, Taeil washed my dishes for me and I wanted to dry them in exchange.” Johnny held his injured palm in his other one, glancing down as he continued. “It was slippery, and I dropped it. I tried to catch it before it shattered and it cut my hand.”

He heard Mark exhale a sharp laugh. “That wasn’t your smartest move. I’m glad it’s not too serious.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight, in the moment all I could think about was breaking one of Taeil’s matching bowls and how awful that would be.” Johnny chewed on his bottom lip. Thinking about it still made his stomach churn a little. 

“Was he upset?”

Johnny laughed weakly. “No. He was too nice, actually. Cleaned up my hand and then the mess I made, too. I felt so awful.”

“Aww,” Mark cooed with a snicker, and Johnny rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky it was him and not us, though. Jungwoo would’ve fainted at the smell of blood, and I would’ve been more panicked than you probably were.”

Johnny let out a real laugh as Mark giggled across from him. “I’m lucky, then. He was almost frighteningly comfortable with the contents of a first aid kit.”

Johnny took another bite from a different container just as a door from the hallway opened, and Jungwoo came stumbling out into the main room.

“Speak of the devil,” Mark said first, turning around to watch him come in. “Woo?”

His eyes were still half closed, hair messed up from his pillow. “He must’ve fallen asleep again,” Johnny chuckled. As Jungwoo came closer, he reached out an arm to pull him into his side.

Jungwoo let himself be pulled and fell into Johnny, still unstable on his feet and looking very disoriented. “Woo?” Mark asked him again, disgruntled tone dropped and looking concerned from the opposite counter. “What happened? You just disappeared.”

Jungwoo’s eyes were squinted in the kitchen lights as he tried to look up at Mark. “Mm, I— I don’ know,” he mumbled. “Laid down for like… half a second. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“You’ve been gone like 30 minutes, it wasn’t that long,” Mark told him. “And you had three cups of coffee? How did you even manage to sleep?”

“Caffeine crash?” Johnny suggested, and Mark shrugged. Jungwoo rubbed at his head.

“I don’t know, but it sucked. Never doing that again,” he declared, finally standing up a little straighter as Johnny’s arm fell away and he could balance himself.

“Good. You were a pain in the ass,” Mark scolded him, and Jungwoo pulled a dramatic face of hurt before hiding it in Johnny’s shoulder.

“You see how mean he is to me,” Jungwoo whined loud enough for Mark to hear, and Johnny just laughed.

Jungwoo wiggled his way up Johnny’s shoulder to hook his chin over it, wrapping both arms around his bicep to pull him slightly in front and hang off of him like a koala. Mark watched silently, but when Jungwoo looked up to pout at him, he rolled his eyes.

Then, a phone rang in the living room. Mark hopped off the counter first and darted around it before either of them could move, disappearing into the other room.

“It’s Jaehyun!” he called as Jungwoo detached himself to follow, and Johnny went along behind him. “Hey Jae,” he said into the phone as he picked up.

They both waited as Mark listened to what Jaehyun was saying. “No, that’s okay, don’t worry,” Mark said, and then, “that’s fine. We’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Johnny looked at Jungwoo, and they both furrowed their brows. “Not coming?” he mouthed to Jungwoo, and he shrugged.

“Okay, see you,” Mark said after another few seconds of Jaehyun’s incoherent response. “Bye, Jae. Bye!” When he’d hung up, he set his phone down on the coffee table before turning to the other two. “He’s busy today.”

“Busy?” Both boys repeated simultaneously. “Doing what?” Johnny asked.

“Dunno, he sounded like he was in a rush. Just said he was out and apologized, and he’ll see us tomorrow,” Mark answered. He looked just as confused as Johnny.

“Well.” Johnny sat down next to Mark, and they both were silent for a second. “Guess we’ll see him tomorrow, then.” He checked his phone notifications to find no response from Jaehyun. _Odd._

Mark stretched his arms back over his head as Jungwoo made his way around the other side of the couch to curl up on Johnny’s other side, knees tucked into his chest.

“Tell your mom we appreciate the food, Mark,” Johnny turned to tell him. “It was really nice to have some homemade stuff.”

He hummed in agreement. “I’ll tell her. She always brings us more than last time.”

“There’d be plenty if Jungwoo didn’t—” Johnny turned to look over his shoulder and tease him, but when he did, Jungwoo was dead asleep again, head nestled against his knee and the back of the couch. He cut his sentence off to chuckle, poking at Mark to stretch across his lap and glance at the sleeping boy.

“He’s not going to sleep tonight,” Johnny told Mark, who groaned as he flopped back against the couch.

“I feel like a single mom with a toddler,” Mark said, letting his eyes fall close. Then, he muttered, “I never want kids. Ever.”

Johnny snorted and reached forward to grab the TV remote. Flipping through Mark’s Netflix account, he found a random movie that looked interesting and settled back. By the time it started, Mark was asleep next to him. With a gentle pet to his head, Johnny tipped him to lay more comfortably against his shoulder and lowered the volume a few more clicks.

\--------------------

Johnny caught the last few rays of sun as he walked home a few hours later, shivering in the shadows of the big buildings as he went. Mark had woken up not long after he fell asleep, but together they finished the first movie and a second one before they decided to shake Jungwoo awake, worried he wouldn’t sleep the entire night. 

Unapologetically, he had left Mark to deal with the whiny boy and feigned an excuse of _I have a lot of classwork._ He didn’t, really, but he didn’t want to deal with Jungwoo bouncing off the walls long into the night. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he checked for a message from Jaehyun again. 

No reply. It wasn’t like him to be so unresponsive for a whole day, and Johnny debated stopping by their apartment to see if Doyoung was holding him captive or something. Logically, he knew he was exaggerating, but he couldn’t shake the thought that something else was going on.

Shooting him another _hey, you good?_ text, Johnny made his way into their own apartment building and up to their floor. He punched in the code and walked in, but before he could even take his shoes off, he realized the room was oddly dim. Squinting, he noticed a strange shape in the middle of the living room.

Taeil, he realized with a start. Bent over and teetering on a bar stool, trying to reach the light fixture.

“Wh— Taeil!” Johnny didn’t even bother flinging his shoes off before he darted towards the chair he was stood on, one hand immediately grabbing the seat and the other landing somewhere between his hip and thigh.

Taeil looked down at him, each hand holding a lightbulb. “Hey Johnny,” he greeted, certainly not matching the shock or panic that Johnny had raced towards him with. On the stool, he was too tall to reach the light easily, so his head was bent at a sharp angle and his shoulders were hunched to avoid hitting the ceiling, but he still offered a faint smile. 

“Oh my god, what are you doing?” Johnny kept his hands locked to hold him steady, trying to use his leg to brace the wobbly chair. “And why are you using a bar stool?”

“I didn’t want to drag my desk chair all the way in here,” Taeil shrugged, finally dropping his hands and squatting down to be closer to his eye level, and more stable. “The lightbulb burned out.”

Johnny narrowed his eyes at him, trying to see how serious he really was. “You used a _spinny_ bar stool to stand on and try to change a lightbulb?” Taeil didn’t seem to think it was that shocking, and Johnny sighed, giving him a gentle tug towards the ground. “God, Taeil, just get off the stool before you fall and break a bone.” 

Johnny took one of the light bulbs from Taeil’s hand so that he could keep the chair steady as he slipped off of it. In front of him, Taeil looked a little disgruntled, standing back with a hand on his hip as Johnny went to move the chair back to its place under the kitchen breakfast bar.

“I would’ve been fine,” Taeil told him. “I’ve done it before.”

Johnny said nothing, instead he walked back over and held his hand out for the other lightbulb. Begrudgingly, Taeil gave him the new one and took the old one back. Johnny could reach it without a stool, and he easily twisted it into the fixture with no effort. He could hear Taeil huff from behind him, and he fought the smile that snuck onto his lips as he turned around again.

Taeil flipped the switch and the light turned on again, bright against the dark windows. Now that he could see Taeil clearly, he felt a little awkward. Facing him for the first time since the _incident,_ he felt more exposed than usual, like a layer had been ripped away and the skin underneath was still tender.

He caved, dropping his eyes and retreating to go take his shoes off. “How was your day?” he attempted, trying to gauge Taeil’s mood.

“It was alright, I just did some prepping for school this week,” Taeil replied, his voice growing farther away. When Johnny glanced over his shoulder, he was sitting on the couch. _Staying._

Johnny smiled. “I saw your note on my way out,” he mentioned, walking back into the main room. “Thanks for letting me know, it was… nice.”

Only with the words out of his mouth did he realize how strange it sounded. Taeil quirked a brow at him, but it was gone before he could react to it, replaced with a little chuckle.

“I figured you’d sleep in a bit,” Taeil continued, moving on to spare him any explanation. “How’s your hand?”

“Oh, uh.” Johnny looked down, running a thumb over the bandaid on his palm. “It’s fine, I think. Not bad at all, but I don’t think it was that bad yesterday either.”

He walked over to sit down on the couch, and Taeil leaned over towards him to see his hand. There wasn’t anything to show, but he held his bandaged hand out to him anyway and instinctively stopped breathing for a second until he leaned back again. 

“It should heal up fine,” Taeil told him, and Johnny nodded.

“Thanks for, you know,” Johnny trailed off, clasping one hand in the other, and Taeil exhaled a short laugh from beside him.

“You don’t have to keep saying thank you. It was fine.”

“I know,” he replied, and he does know, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

Taeil pulled his feet up to sit criss-cross on the couch, adjusting his body to angle more towards him. “What did you do today?”

“I went over to Mark and Jungwoo’s,” Johnny said, hesitant to remind him that they’d met already in less-than-ideal circumstances. “Mark’s mom dropped off some food, and we just hung out.”

“The ones who came by the other day?”

“Ah.” Of course he’d remember. “Yeah, those ones.”

Expecting it to be an unpleasant memory, Johnny was surprised when Taeil offered a faint smile and said, “They seemed nice.”

Johnny didn’t think Taeil had taken a particular liking to any of his friends, so it was a relief for him to hear that there weren’t any grudges being held from his first impressions. “Yeah, they are nice. I’ll let you know if they come over again.”

Taeil seemed pleased with that, flashing a smile before he stood up to go into the kitchen. Johnny sat back against the couch to pull his phone from his back pocket. He assumed Taeil was going to get his dinner ready, but he’d eaten enough at Mark and Jungwoo’s that he didn’t need anything else for the day.

Johnny busied himself with checking various socials and text messages as Taeil moved around the kitchen, opening up cupboards and the fridge. When his eyes landed on his, still unread, message to Jaehyun, he felt petty streaks of annoyance flare up in his chest. What could he possibly be so busy with that he couldn’t send a simple _yeah, I’m fine,_ message back?

Hiding the chat away, Johnny saw Donghyuck’s name a few below it and decided he was due a check-in message. He scrolled through his camera roll to find a fun city picture and wrote a short text before going back to his Instagram feed.

Not even a minute after he sent it, a FaceTime call lit up his screen. He grinned as he pressed accept.

He was met with Donghyuck’s scowling face, which only made him burst into laughter, tipping over on the couch and out of frame.

“Why didn’t you text me for so long!” Donghyuck cried through the speakers. “Did you forget about me or something!”

Laying horizontally across the couch, Johnny repositioned the camera above his head so he could see him again. “No, I didn’t forget about you, goofball,” he teased. “It hasn’t even been that long. Did you miss me that much?”

Donghyuck huffed. “I didn’t miss you at all, dummy. Not one bit.”

“Not one bit? But you’re my favorite little brother,” Johnny pouted at him.

“I’m your only brother!” 

Donghyuck scrunched up his nose to glare at him, phone so close to his face that Johnny could barely see anything other than it.

Fighting to keep his composure, he sputtered, “I can see the boogers in your nose, Hyuck.”

At Donghyuck’s wail of annoyance, Johnny burst out laughing as the camera angle quickly changed. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Taeil grinning from the kitchen and peering over the counter, and gave a quick nod for him to come over.

Turning back to Donghyuck, he could see the remnants of a smile on his face, too. “How are you, Hyuckie? How’s school going?” he asked. “Getting good grades?”

“I’m the fastest in my class at multiplication tables,” Donghyuck bragged. “And we’re learning about persuasive writing, my teacher said I’ll be good at it because I’m _tenacious,_ whatever that means.”

Johnny chuckled. “Tenacious, huh? What do you think it means?”

“Probably like, really smart.”

Johnny could hear Taeil snort in the other room, but he forced his lips to stay flat. “Yeah, that’s basically it. You’re super duper smart, Hyuckie, but you still have to work hard, okay?”

“I _know_ , Johnny,” Donghyuck grumbled. “Mom tells me every day, I don’t need to hear it from you, too.”

Johnny hummed, smiling as Donghyuck flailed the camera around a little more. “How’s Mom? Are you being nice to her?”

“The real question is is _she_ being nice to _me_ ,” Donghyuck replied. It’s audacious, but the clear drop in his volume showed that he still didn’t want their mom to hear.

“Oh no, is the poor baby not getting everything he wants?” Johnny cooed in baby talk. He had never felt the need to be sympathetic for him being the baby of the family, no matter how much Donghyuck complained about it. “Did Mama make you take the trash out? Sort the recycling? How cruel!”

“I already have to do all that! Now she makes me do all my homework before I can even look at my phone after school, AND hand it in before bed!” Donghyuck was clearly bothered by this, but Johnny couldn’t help the smile that cracked across his face.

“It’s not funny! You’d be upset if Mom took your phone,” he pouted.

“Donghyuck, I’m twenty years old. You are ten.”

Donghyuck huffed, the aggressive exhale making the speaker go fuzzy for a second with how close his face was to the phone.

Taeil appeared from the kitchen again, this time with one of the pretty speckled bowls in his hands. He walked around Johnny’s other side as he moved to sit up normally again and make room for him.

“My brother,” Johnny mouthed, tilting the camera away a little, and Taeil nodded with a knowing smile.

“Who’re you talking to,” Donghyuck piped up, only the top half of his head visible on the screen.

Johnny glanced at Taeil, gauging his reaction to the question, but he just smiled back at him. “My roommate,” Johnny said, looking back at the screen. “His name is Taeil.”

“HI TAEIL,” Donghyuck hollered back without a second thought, the sudden noise making both Johnny and Taeil jump in their seats.

“Hyuck!” Johnny hissed, but Taeil was laughing and he couldn’t keep his face serious to scold him for very long.

“Wait who’s Taeil,” Donghyuck continued, completely ignoring Johnny. “I thought your roommate was Jaehyun.”

“That was last year. We moved to different places, remember?” Johnny told him.

Donghyuck stared back at him for a second, before he commanded, “Give Taeil your phone.” 

Johnny raised a brow. “Please?” he replied first, but he glanced at Taeil again to see that he’d heard the request.

He had, because he leaned forward to set his bowl on the table gently, reaching out a confident hand for the phone. Mildly surprised at his casual compliance, Johnny handed it over without another word.

When Taeil’s face appeared in front of the screen, Johnny could hear Donghyuck suck in a little breath. He snickered to himself, and Taeil shared an amused glance with him before looking back at the younger boy. “Hi, Donghyuck. I’m Taeil.”

“Hi,” he answered. Johnny could see over Taeil’s shoulder that he was sitting up now, phone held an appropriate distance away from his face. _Must be the teacher vibe._

“It’s nice to meet you,” Taeil continued as Donghyuck stared back at him, eyes slightly widened.

Before he could return the greeting, a scratching noise echoed through the phone and then it was flying through the air, landing face up on the bed and leaving Taeil staring at the ceiling.

“Donghyuck?” Johnny called, listening to a door open and close. “Did he leave?” he whispered to Taeil, who shrugged.

Before he could ask again, the bed shook and the Donghyuck came back into view. “Do you want to see my dog?” he asked.

“Uh, su—”

Before Taeil could even finish replying, the camera flipped and a shaggy white maltese appeared. “Her name is Lulu,” Donghyuck said from behind, a hand reaching out to stroke her as he mumbled praises in a ridiculously high-pitched voice.

Johnny leaned over to steal a glance at the dog. “Lulu! Hi Lulu,” he cooed, chuckling when her ears perked up at his voice. “I miss you puppy.”

“She’s very cute,” Taeil smiled. “I like her name.”

“I picked it,” Donghyuck declared, flipping the camera back around. “She’s basically my dog. Mom said we could get one when Johnny left because it would teach me _responsibility_.”

“I see,” Taeil hummed, nodding along. “I’m sure you take very good care of her.”

“Yep.” Donghyuck left the dog alone, leaning back against the wall and focusing on Taeil again. “Do you have a dog?” he asked.

“I never had any pets,” Taeil replied, poking out his bottom lip a little in a light frown. “I always wanted a cat, but my mom was allergic to them,” he explained to the boy.

Johnny listened to their exchange from the side, hoping in his head that Donghyuck wouldn’t say anything mildly insulting or blunt. Or reveal some extremely embarrassing detail about him from when they were younger, of which Donghyuck had many and liked to use to his advantage. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Donghyuck continued, sounding a little suspicious of Taeil. The idea of having no pets _or_ siblings was clearly foreign to him. 

“I don’t, no. It was just me,” he answered smoothly. “But, I do work at a kindergarten. So it’s like I have lots of little siblings for a few hours every day.”

Johnny watched how fondly Taeil smiled at Donghyuck, and he wondered if Taeil was simply more comfortable around younger kids because they were familiar to him. Given, Donghyuck wasn’t exactly in the age range of his usual bunch, but he knew how to handle the mannerisms of a child without making them feel inferior.

Donghyuck looked relieved, like he had passed his _are you a robot_ quiz. “That sounds nice,” Donghyuck said, letting a little smile show. “Kindergarteners are babies, though. They can’t even do multiplication.”

Taeil chuckled, and Johnny rolled his lips together to stay quiet. “You’re right, they can’t do multiplication, that’s a bit too complicated,” Taeil agreed with him, earning a triumphant smile from the younger boy. “But, they aren’t really babies, either. They’re starting to learn how to be little adults, just like you.”

Everyone was silent as Donghyuck seemed to think about his response for a moment. He was used to being called a baby too, used to biting back and declaring himself a big kid at the least, but Taeil hadn’t called him one.

“Little adult sounds more fun than being a kid,” Donghyuck finally giggled out, and Johnny felt a wave of tension dissipate from the air.

“You’re a sassy little adult, Hyuckie,” Johnny called from out of frame, watching as Donghyuck stuck his tongue out even though he couldn’t see him.

Taeil laughed, turning to Johnny to gesture towards the phone, offering it back to him. He nodded, leaning over to brush shoulders with Taeil and fit his face in the screen beside him.

“I think it’s your bedtime soon, huh? You gotta get ready for bed so Mom doesn’t have to nag you,” Johnny told him, voice raising towards the end to be heard over Donghyuck’s almost immediate whining.

“How come I still have a bedtime when I’m almost _eleven._ ” Donghyuck fell back against his pillow, hair flopping all in his face and fanning around his head. “None of my friends have bedtimes.”

“Sleep is very important for little adults to grow up big and strong,” Taeil told him, his teacher's voice coming through a little stronger.

Johnny had to pinch his lips together, but one unimpressed look from Donghyuck made them both burst into giggles. “That might work on your kindergarteners, but it won’t work on him,” he told Taeil with a grin, leaning back a little to steal a glance. 

His cheeks were flushed high with pink as he hid his head away the other direction. “Ah, you’re too old for that, I see.”

“It’s okay, I still think you’re pretty cool, Taeil,” Donghyuck confessed out of the blue, and both boys looked back at the screen simultaneously.

“What about me?” Johnny gaped at him, before pretending to wipe a tear away. “You used to think I was the coolest guy in the world.”

“No, _you_ used to think that. I just said it because you’d give me candy for it.”

It was Taeil’s turn to gape at his blunt honesty, turning to look at Johnny, too shocked to even laugh. Johnny went beet red.

He snatched the phone from Taeil, holding it away. “That’s it, goodnight Hyuck! Time for bed!”

“Hey!” he called through the phone in the midst of it. “Let me say goodbye to Taeil!”

Grumbling, Johnny reluctantly put the phone back down so Taeil could lean back into view. He set a hand on Johnny’s lower thigh to balance himself, focused on Donghyuck’s face in the screen, but Johnny felt his muscles tense up beneath his fingers. Before he could force himself to relax, and without even a glance, Taeil removed his hand. 

“Goodnight, Hyuck, sleep good okay?” Taeil said to Donghyuck, who hummed in reply.

“I will.” As soon as he finished his reply, Donghyuck stuck his tongue out at Johnny. “And you have to call me more, dummy.”

“Or what?” Johnny prodded, smirking.

“Or…,” he paused, clearly thinking, “or I’ll like Taeil more than you.”

Taeil spluttered from beside him, and Johnny laughed. “You wouldn’t _dare_.”

“I would.”

“Yeah? I’ll tell Mom you sneak your phone into your room after bed sometimes,” Johnny threatened back.

Donghyuck gasped, eyes flitting off screen as if he expected her to suddenly appear. “Johnny!” he whined. “That’s so mean! Mom would take it for like, like a week!”

“Well then, I guess I remain the coolest person in the world.” Johnny sat back, satisfied.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, but got close to the screen to whisper, “As long as you don’t tell Mom.”

“I won’t tell Mom,” Johnny agreed, smiling, “but you have to go to bed soon. It’s school tomorrow.”

Donghyuck groaned, letting his bottom lip puff out. “I miss when you’d read me books at night, under the covers after Mom told us to go to bed.”

Taeil went still beside him at Donghyuck’s sudden confession, and Johnny felt his heart twist a little. Even though he knew Donghyuck was using it as a ploy to prolong bed time a little longer, he let himself miss the younger boy for a moment, left the door open for the homesickness to ache in his bones until he had to box it away again. 

“Aren’t you a little old to be read to now?” Johnny teased him, but it was tender.

Donghyuck giggled, laying on his side and tilting the phone towards his face, cheek squished and half-buried in the pillow. “Yeah. I read in my head now. I don’t even have to use my finger to follow the lines.”

“You’re doing great, Hyuckie,” he praised. “You can read to me when I come home for Christmas.”

“Okay.” Donghyuck grinned, but it broke into a yawn.

“Bedtime?” Johnny suggested. “Before you fall asleep in your clothes.”

There was a long pause, and then Donghyuck hummed, “Okay, goodnight Johnny. And Taeil.”

“Goodnight Hyuckie,” Johnny chuckled, tilting the phone to let Taeil say the same. “Promise to call you more.”

“You better,” Donghyuck mumbled, eyes already drooping again.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth. Bye Hyuck!”

Donghyuck’s drowsy face disappeared as the call ended, and Johnny sat back with a sigh. Taeil had grown quiet for the last minutes, watching them talk back and forth.

“Sorry about that,” Johnny said first, not sure what else to really say.

Taeil smiled, playing with his fingers. “Don’t be. He’s very sweet.”

“Sometimes,” Johnny corrected, setting his phone down.

“He’s just like you,” Taeil said, a little softer. Johnny looked up, but he was still focused on his hands.

“Sassy and overconfident?” Johnny joked, earning a sharp laugh from Taeil, but he shook his head slightly.

“Not that, he’s just a littler you,” Taeil continued. He opened his mouth again, like he was about to say more, but closed it again.

“You handle him well,” Johnny offered. “He can be difficult sometimes. For other people, I mean, but he didn’t act up today.”

“It’s just the age.” Taeil raised his gaze, finally. “I specialized in early years, but everyone has to take a class on puberty and the behavioral changes that come with it.”

Johnny chuckled at his oblivious dodge of an attempted compliment, but gave in. “Either way. He likes you.”

“I’m honored.”

The homesickness still bubbling in his heart, Johnny sent both of his parents a quick message of _I miss you, can’t wait to be home for Christmas,_ adding a few emojis for his mom and a dorky thumbs up selfie for his dad.

“Maybe you’ll get to meet him sometime,” Johnny said, watching his mom read the message immediately. He looked up to see Taeil looking back at him, a faint smile on his lips. “He always wants to visit. Maybe I’ll pick him up and bring him over for a weekend next semester.”

“That would be… interesting,” Taeil replied, tucking his knees to his chest to rest his chin on them. “I work with kids and around kids all day, but they always stay at work. I’ve never really interacted with kids outside of it,” he confessed with a light, awkward chuckle.

“Really?” Johnny had known he was an only child, but he still couldn’t fathom growing up without Donghyuck. He couldn’t even really remember what it was like before they’d had him. “It wouldn’t have to be that long, and he’d obviously be with me the whole time. You wouldn’t have to babysit or anything.”

His mom sent back a bunch of stickers with blowing kisses and hearts, and Johnny laughed at the notifications. 

“I think he’d be bored here,” Taeil said, glancing around the room. “There’s nothing to do.”

“He’s ten, not five,” Johnny joked, cocking his head with a grin. “He’s got his phone, he’ll be fine.”

Taeil returned the smile with a light laugh. “Right. Maybe it would be okay, then.”

They fell into silence, and Taeil’s eyes drifted to something past Johnny as he stared off, arms curled around his bent legs. Johnny had one foot pinned under his other thigh, knee poking onto Taeil’s cushion where his socked toes crossed the same boundary. He looked infinitely small, and Johnny was used to that closed-off body language being used against him, but he didn’t really feel like it was directed at him that night. Sitting so close, without the usual cushion of distance between them, and with his body angled completely sideways and facing Johnny, he didn’t seem as locked away or shielded. Towards something else, maybe, something outside of their little bubble, but not him. 

A vibration against his knee pulled Johnny’s attention from Taeil, and they both glanced down at the screen that flashed on with a notification.

 **Jaehyun [7:46pm]**  
i need to talk to you


	8. Yuta's Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehyun's being very suspicious. Yuta makes a dramatic reappearance. Johnny _really_ needs a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no tag/rating changes, hope you enjoy!

Johnny could’ve worn holes through his socks with how much he paced their living room floor the next morning. He’d tossed and turned the whole night, Jaehyun’s ambiguous text message burning on his eyelids as his brain made up increasingly irrational scenarios for how their talk would go once Jaehyun arrived.

Shortly after his initial text, Jaehyun had told him to not mention anything to Mark or Jungwoo, which only gave Johnny more chest pains. Extremely vague _and_ secretive? It wasn’t like Jaehyun at all, and that was a warning sign.

He was so restless that he was awake to hear Taeil moving about in the morning, the shower turning on and off and the soft footsteps past his door. He thought about mentioning it to Taeil, desperate to confide in someone who wasn’t one of their mutual friends, but eventually decided against it before he could hear what Jaehyun had to say.

When he asked for a time, Jaehyun had said he’d be at their apartment at 11am. Johnny had a class at 10am but he was more than willing to skip it on a Monday morning, even though it wasn’t to sleep in. It was only 10:35, but he was starting to feel sick with nerves. Every vibration of his phone make him suck in a breath, even if it was just an Instagram notification.

There was nothing he could do except wait, anxious and jittery. The minutes ticked by, slower and slower every time he looked at the clock, but eventually it was 10:40. 10:45. 10:50.

10:53. The doorbell buzzed, and Johnny’s socks fumbled on the hardwood as he launched himself at the door. Jaehyun was never early, and he wasn’t fully emotionally prepared yet.

He yanked it open, and Jaehyun looked a little startled by how sudden it was. At his first glance over, Jaehyun looked fine. He wasn’t hurt, there were no bruises or black eyes and he was wearing normal clothes and a baseball cap. His only tell was his lips: bitten and chewed until they bled.

Without a word, Johnny stood back for Jaehyun to step inside. Despite the questions practically bursting out of his brain, he didn’t know which to start with.

“Is Taeil home?” Jaehyun asked under his breath, eyes on the hallway as he walked into the main room.

“No, he left earlier,” Johnny answered. His throat was tight, just like his lungs.

“Good.” Jaehyun rubbed his hands on his thighs, pulling his puffy lip back between his teeth as he stood awkwardly, a few feet away. His phone buzzed in his pocket, but instead of checking it, he tossed it on the couch without looking at the screen.

Johnny stared at him, sensing the anxiety that rolled off of him as strongly as it twisted in his own chest. This was so foreign for them; not knowing what to say, or how to approach the other. If Jaehyun wasn’t going to start, Johnny needed to before the anticipation swallowed him up whole.

“Are we just going to stand here or are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

The question seemed to make Jaehyun realize what was happening, what he was there for. He suddenly started pacing, following the steps Johnny had been wearing into the wood earlier.

“Jae, Jaehyun,” Johnny called out to him, concern drowning out the fear. “What happened?”

“I don’t know where to start.” Jaehyun spoke to the floor, unable to meet his eyes. “I—I don’t know what to do.”

His breathing was picking up, loud enough that Johnny could hear his ragged inhales. His phone buzzed again on the couch, but he showed no interest in looking at it. Johnny had never seen Jaehyun like this.

Johnny approached him carefully, putting himself in the middle of his path. “You gotta stop pacing and sit down,” he directed, the hand he set on his upper arm featherlight.

With a deep breath, Jaehyun moved by himself to sit on the couch, and Johnny followed behind. “Do you want some water or something?” Johnny asked.

He nodded. Johnny went to get a glass from the kitchen to fill, keeping one eye on him as he went. When he set it down in front of him, Jaehyun gulped half of it down in one go. His phone vibrated again, this time an incoming call, but Jaehyun muted it quickly and tucked it under his thigh.

“Who’s trying to reach you?” Johnny’s eyes were narrowed, trying to decipher what could have him acting so strange, almost like he was on the run. “Why’re you ignoring them?”

“No one,” Jaehyun answered, knowing well that it wasn’t an answer at all. Johnny was starting to get frustrated.

“Why did you come here if you aren’t going to tell me what’s going on?” he exclaimed, a little too sharp. “Jaehyun, you’re clearly freaking out, and you made me nervous all night with that vague ass text and what am I supposed to do if you won’t tell me anything?”

Jaehyun looked at him, desperation clear in his eyes, but he still said nothing.

“And who are you ignoring!” Johnny snapped.

Just as Jaehyun was opening his mouth to finally, _finally_ say something, the doorbell rang again. Both heads whipped around to stare at the front door.

“If you’re here,” Johnny started, getting up to check the doorbell camera, “then who is that?”

A face he recognized waited for him, grainy on the small screen. Confused, he went to open the door.

“Hello Johnny! I’m so glad I caught you.” Yuta smiled back at him, his bright and cheery voice like a bucket of ice water over Johnny’s head.

“Yuta?” Jaehyun suddenly said from right behind him, making Johnny jump. He looked behind at Jaehyun’s shocked expression, and then back to the man in the doorway, perfect smile still on display. He was in slacks, the top two buttons of his shirt loose and jacket folded over his arm.

“Jaehyun,” Yuta greeted, unfaltering. “Great to see you, too.”

Brain still reeling at the sudden interruption, Johnny stumbled back when Yuta made it clear he intended to come in. “What—Why are you…Uh,” he swallowed, trying to start over with a coherent sentence.

Yuta, untying his black leather Oxfords, chuckled. “Sorry for appearing out of the blue, I just wanted to catch you when Taeil was out.” He stood up again, smoothing down his pants. “I hope that’s alright.”

“While Taeil was… uh, yeah,” Johnny replied, not sure how he could turn him away now when his shoes were already off. He glanced at Jaehyun, who watched with a wary eye from a few feet back. He would have to wait a little bit longer to finally hear Jaehyun’s explanation.

Yuta strolled into the main room like it was his own apartment still. Johnny trailed behind, waiting for him to offer a reason as to why he had shown up just to see him. Slipping around the edge of the room, he watched Jaehyun pick his phone up off the couch, eyes squinted at the messages he’d been ignoring.

“Did you come here from work?” Johnny asked, looking back at the shoes.

“I did, yes.” Yuta was grinning at him when he looked up. “Wasn’t too busy today.”

“But it’s not even…,” Johnny trailed off as Yuta turned away, uninterested in his reply.

Instead, Yuta slid a bar stool out, spinning it around to hop up and look back at Johnny and prop an elbow on the countertop. “So, how are things going lately? Is the apartment nice enough?”

Letting out a short, awkward laugh, Johnny shrugged. “Sure, yeah. Everything’s been fine.” He wasn’t understanding the small talk. “What about you? How’s your new one?”

“All good, of course,” Yuta answered. He crossed one knee over the other and leaned his temple against his palm, arching one brow in a coy, almost devious expression. “And Taeil? Has been nice to you?”

The back of Johnny’s neck prickled with nerves. “Yeah, he’s fine.” He was sure the confusion was showing on his face by now.

Yuta didn’t seem phased by it at all. If anything, he looked like he was enjoying it.

“What made you stop by?” Johnny blurted out, dropping the formalities. He was worried Jaehyun would get scared and slip away before he could get Yuta to leave.

Yuta smiled, picking his head up again to watch him closely. “I’m glad you asked. I have a… a proposition, of sorts, for you to consider.”

“A proposition?” That caught his attention. “What does that mean?”

Yuta beckoned him closer with a slender finger. “Well,” he started as Johnny approached, “I have a favor to ask, but because we’re all good men here, let’s not call it that. A… A friendly tip, let’s say.”

“Okay…,” Johnny said, waiting for him to continue.

Before his very eyes, Yuta pulled out his wallet, opened it, and took out a $100 bill. He slid it across the countertop until it was right in front of Johnny.

He glanced from the bill to Yuta’s face, back and forth a few times just to make sure it was really there. “What’s that for? Yuta?” Anticipation swirled in his chest as he wondered what Yuta was asking of him, and how illegal it was going to be.

Before Yuta could answer, Johnny chickened out. He didn’t even want to know. “Yuta, I really can’t—” he jabbed a hand at the money “— _do,_ whatever it is. I’m really not the right person to ask—”

Yuta’s smile widened. “Oh, but you _are_ the right person.”

Johnny was fully panicking now. “No, Yuta, you don’t understand, I can’t get a job if I have a criminal record. Not to mention my mom would actually murder me if she had to—”

“I want you to ask Taeil on a date.”

Johnny’s jaw was frozen mid sentence, stunned by Yuta’s interjection. On top of that, he gave him a funny look, like Johnny was the one saying ridiculous things. They all sat in heavy silence for what felt like years, Yuta’s eyes burning a hole in his skull.

It was Johnny who broke it. “That’s insane.”

“Why?” Yuta threw back without missing a beat, before he cocked his head sideways. “What did you think I was going to say?”

Johnny waved it off, mumbling, “Nothing, forget it,” but he couldn’t as easily forget what Yuta had really asked. Not at all, in fact.

“Will you consider it?” Yuta pushed, like he was asking him to feed his cat and check his mail for a weekend. Not ask his best friend on a date.

“You want me. To ask Taeil. On a date.” Johnny stretched each word out, emphasizing with hand gestures at each pause to make sure he was understanding it all correctly. “Me?”

Yuta nodded.

Johnny spun around, threading both hands into his hair to tug on it because all he could think was,“ _Why_? Why would I—why would _you_ even want that? You know how he feels about me, right? He must tell you.”

Yuta’s face was losing its mischievous glimmer, and he looked far more serious. “I know a lot about how he feels about you.”

Even though he shouldn’t have been surprised, Johnny still felt a little betrayed to hear that Yuta knew the ins and outs of their rocky relationship. Even so, he didn’t want to know how much, so he held his tongue.

“And what part in all that makes you think he’d want to go on a date with me?” Johnny retorted, a bitterness he didn’t know he had lining the words.

His reply seemed to catch Yuta by surprise. Quieter, he said, “Do you not think he would?”

Johnny had almost forgotten Jaehyun was there until he heard a small gasp from across the room. Still perched on the couch, Jaehyun stared back with wide eyes when Johnny’s head turned at the noise.

The fiery energy in his veins was doused, leaving him teetering on the edge of a cliff ready to crumble. “Why would I think that?” Johnny squeaked, painfully aware that Yuta showed no signs of joking.

His expression is enough to make him turn heel in shock. “I need to lie down,” Johnny mumbled, finding his way to the couch. Jaehyun watched him come nearer, still in the same state of disbelief. Letting his back sink into the cushion, he stared at the junction of the wall and ceiling, limp.

Yuta gave him a minute to process before he spoke again. “If I’d have known this would be such news to you, I would’ve prefaced it differently,” he admitted from his seat. “I need to tell you, I don’t actually know for sure how he feels.”

“But you think,” Johnny continued for him.

Yuta gave one short, curt nod. “I think.”

Johnny had a million thoughts, and yet his head was empty. He had a list of questions to ask, and yet he didn’t want the answer to any of them. He didn’t know what his stomach with tight with, what was making him dizzy or if he was even awake. Maybe he was dreaming, and this wasn’t actually happening.

“Johnny,” Jaehyun called to him. When he dragged his head to the side, Jaehyun slowly, carefully asked, “Regardless of if Yuta is right, how would _you_ feel?”

With just a few words, Jaehyun cracked the dam that Johnny had been desperately trying to ignore, trying to pretend it didn’t exist. Of all the things he’d been expecting to be dropped on him that morning, this was not on the list.

Johnny sucked in a long, deep breath. “I don’t know,” he said on the exhale, and he didn’t. He didn’t have the slightest idea what to think, how to defuse the bomb Yuta had dropped on him before it destroyed the fragile relationship he’d painstakingly built with Taeil.

“I guess I should’ve asked you what you thought about it first,” Yuta reflected, clicking his tongue as if to say ‘ _oh well, next time’._

“Yeah, maybe,” Jaehyun all but snapped at him, and even Johnny looked up in surprise. He was upset too, but Yuta was older and they weren’t nearly close enough to talk to him like that.

He was ready to apologize in Jaehyun’s place when Yuta took the words right out of his mouth. “It’s okay, he’s right. I’m sorry, Johnny. I didn’t want it to come off like this, or to put pressure on you.”

“Little late for that,” Johnny laughed weakly, just a forced exhale from his sore chest. He leaned forward to dig fingers into his temples, hearing Yuta shift in his seat.

“I know this seems shocking right now, but—” Yuta started again, but didn’t get very far.

“Yuta!” Jaehyun cut him off, and Johnny stiffened at the bite in his tone. “Can’t you tell he’s had enough.”

A pause, Johnny imagined a stare off between the two men, and then Yuta started again. “Before you make a rash decision,” he said, gentler, “think about it for a little. Let the shock settle, consider it over the holiday break maybe.”

Johnny glanced up to get a good look at Yuta’s expression. Nervous lip between his teeth, focused on him, serious as ever. Not an ounce of insincerity.

Jaehyun started to stand up. “Maybe you should go, Yuta.”

Johnny watched the look they exchanged, Yuta opening his mouth to argue but then closing it again when Jaehyun didn’t relent, gaze sharper than any words he could say.

If Johnny didn’t say anything more, Yuta would’ve left without another word. Gone with him would be the threat of potentially ruining the meticulous house of cards Johnny had been building with Taeil’s trust. Ripping the centermost card out from under it, sending it toppling.

Johnny knew the risk was there. He also knew that, were it to fail him, the slash it left would be too deep for him to patch over and restart. If he took the leap and Taeil wasn’t there waiting for him, that was it. He just needed to decide if it was worth it, to face that trial, and if it was really what he wanted, enough that he couldn’t consciously let it go.

Over the course of the conversation, Johnny realized the latter was possible, deep in his heart. Only as Yuta stood up to leave, though, did it hit him with startling ferocity that the first was too, just as much.

“Wait.”

At Johnny’s command, Yuta stopped in his tracks before he could reach his shoes. He stood up, standing tall to meet him in the middle of the room and willing all his determination together. “If I were, to consider your…,” he searched for the right word, “suggestion.”

Yuta nodded eagerly. “Yes?”

“I don’t want your money.” Of all the uncertainties rising up in him, Johnny was most sure of this. “He will not be sold, and I won’t be bought off.”

Yuta’s jaw dropped, staring up at him with wide eyes. “That isn’t how I meant it and you know it! It was for dinner, on me.” He looked appalled.

“I don’t want it,” Johnny reiterated without faltering, needing his point to be clear. “I don’t want to be held to this, or to have to report to you or something, or for him to know any of this _ever happened_.”

Eyes still narrowed, Yuta eventually conceded. “I understand,” he answered, holding one hand up like an oath. “It won’t leave this room.”

Assured, Johnny let Yuta retreat towards the door again. He slipped his Oxfords back on, his jacket back over his shoulders. Jaehyun reappeared by Johnny’s side to watch him go, silent.

With one hand on the door, Yuta stopped to turn back once more. “And Johnny,” he addressed him, “don’t do it because I asked you. It has to be because you’re sure of it. How you feel.”

Johnny cracked a smile for the first time that day. “No matter what happens, what I end up doing,” he uttered, “it won’t be because of you.”

They locked eyes for a long moment, reading deeper than the surface. Finally, like he had seen something there that reassured him, Yuta’s face melted into a gentle smile. “I knew you were the right choice,” he said simply.

Before Johnny could process what he meant, Yuta gave them one last fleeting glance over before he swung the door open wider and disappeared through it.

Immediately, Jaehyun’s chest deflated and he leaned heavily on Johnny’s side, where he was still staring at the door. “Oh my god, what _was_ that?” he mumbled into his shoulder.

Johnny snorted. “Like I know. My brain stopped functioning when he rang the doorbell.” Adjusting to better support Jaehyun’s weight, he slung an arm around his waist and dragged him up higher.

Jaehyun lifted his head a little to whisper, “Could he really be serious?”

“Why do you sound more shocked than me,” Johnny laughed, but it was half-hearted. He was pretty sure he had never been more unprepared for anything in his life.

Jaehyun detached himself from Johnny’s side so they could both wander back to the couch. He couldn’t stop replaying the conversation in his head from the start. From the greasy slide of the hundred dollar bill across the countertop before he even knew what it was for. Now, it made him sick.

“I can’t believe he offered to pay me,” Johnny said, face scrunching up in contempt.

“I can’t believe he thinks Taeil…,” Jaehyun trailed off, turning to lean his head on the top of the couch and face him.

Johnny let his eyes close, letting out a sharp chuckle. “Can’t even say it out loud.”

Johnny felt Jaehyun’s hand on his arm, a gentle and grounding pressure that made him slump a little more in his seat. Then, Jaehyun’s phone buzzed in between them again, but his arm was pulled back and snatching it up before Johnny could even open his eyes.

“Who was calling you before?” Johnny asked, suddenly remembering the ordeal they’d been facing before Yuta had made an appearance. Sitting up straighter, he continued, “And the thing you had to talk to me about? Hello?”

Jaehyun’s eyes didn’t leave his phone, flitting across the screen before he started typing back.

“Jae!” Johnny called again, and Jaehyun flinched like he hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Sorry, I just—,” he looked back at his phone, and Johnny heard the whoosh of a sent message, “I have to go, I’m sorry.”

In his defense, Jaehyun did look apologetic as he stood up from the couch with strategic puppy dog eyes turned on Johnny. Not enough, though.

“What do you mean you have to go!” Johnny hollered as he stood up to follow him. “You scared the shit out of me last night and now I’ve had the most stressful morning and you won’t even tell me what happened?”

Jaehyun clenched his teeth together, grimacing as he continued to move towards the front door. “I’m sorry, bro. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, I was definitely, uh, overreacting,” he reasoned, side-stepping away. “But I really have to go.”

Johnny watched in awe as Jaehyun slipped his shoes on. He was really leaving. “You’re a serious pain in my ass, Jaehyun. I can’t believe you.”

With his shoes already on, Jaehyun hopped across the wood to throw his arms around Johnny’s neck. Still upset, Johnny grumbled at him, but locked his arms around his waist anyways. He could feel Jaehyun’s rumbling chuckle against his chest.

“I’m still mad at you,” Johnny said when Jaehyun stood back again, but he couldn’t hold his glare at his pouting face for very long. “Get your dirty shoes off my floor,” he said instead, swatting at his shoulder as Jaehyun turned heel and leaped back into the entryway with a grin.

“I’ll text you later, swear,” Jaehyun said, and Johnny could only nod. He held the door open as Jaehyun let himself out, giving him one last smile before heading off down the hall.

Johnny stuck his foot in between the door before it could close to peer around the corner and watch Jaehyun leave. He watched his hair flop with the bounce of his step, smiling to himself in an effort to mute the quickly onsetting dread of being alone for the next few hours before Taeil got home, and the extra layer of dread that came with facing that.

Just before he was about to shut the door fully, he caught a glimpse of Jaehyun’s face as he turned the corner to disappear down the stairwell. Brows furrowed, eyes down and phone raised to his ear as if he was waiting for someone to pick up.

_He would tell me if he needed help_ , Johnny reassured himself as the lock clicked shut again. He probably thought Johnny already had a lot to deal with, and realized his issue wasn’t as important. Jaehyun was an adult too, he could handle his own problems. He was sure Jaehyun would tell him when everything else settled down. At least that’s what he told himself to ease the nerves that would continue to fester otherwise.

The living room was too quiet and too empty, so Johnny sheltered in the safety of his room, where the drawn curtains kept it dark enough for him to curl up in his bed and use his covers like a shield. He debated calling Donghyuck to get his mind off things, but then he remembered it wasn’t even noon yet and he was still in school. Johnny should be in school. He had assignments to catch up on.

Instead, he pulled the blanket tighter around himself and found a mindless video to quiet his thoughts and lull him to sleep. That could be dealt with tomorrow. All the things he needed to come to terms with, the people he needed to face, could wait another day. He’d feel better then.

—————————

Johnny didn’t hear Taeil get home that evening, or eat dinner, or brush his teeth before bed. He didn’t hear the gentle knock on his door, or the ‘ _Johnny? Are you home?’_ that floated through it.

It wasn’t until a stroke of lightning cracked through the sky that his eyes flew open. He wasn’t sure what woke him for a second, floundering for his phone in a sleepy haze, until the boom of thunder that echoes it shook the walls and he jumped again. 2:48am, his phone read.

He’d slept straight through the rest of the day. If it were any other circumstances, he’d consider it a personal achievement, but now he just felt disoriented and light-headed, and the bursts of thunder and rain hitting his window in sheets weren’t helping either.

He lay in silence, blankets thrown off because he’d gotten sweaty wrapped up in them for so long, and stared at the lightning strikes that shined through a crack in his curtains every few minutes.

Thunderstorms remind Johnny of Donghyuck, the younger boy curled around one of his arms and shaking like a leaf under the covers. He’d been terrified of them ever since Johnny could remember, crawling in beside him at the first roll of thunder and not leaving until the morning. Johnny would read to him with a flashlight, letting his voice distract from the pounding on the roof above them, and count the seconds between lightning and thunder on their fingers so they could make a game out of it.

He wondered if it was storming at home. Donghyuck was older now, defiant and fearless in much of his life, but he knew this fear would not be shaken as easily.

More awake now, Johnny realized he wasn’t getting back to sleep anytime soon. Sitting up a little higher, he checked his notifications from the day before. True to his word, Jaehyun had texted him a few hours after he’d left. It was nothing more than a “ _how are you doing? Is Taeil home yet?”_ but he was grateful still.

There were no messages from Taeil. A part of Johnny thought maybe, maybe Taeil would be worried. Wonder where he was, if he was even at home, but there was nothing. He had work in the morning, of course, and there was no room in his schedule to stay up wondering where Johnny was.

He swallowed thickly, his throat dry. Dehydrated probably, he thought, trying to remember the last time he’d had any water. That certainly wasn’t helping his dizziness or exhaustion.

Mustering the energy, Johnny swung his legs out of bed and dragged himself up. It was just as dark in the hallway as it was in his room, and he ran a few fingers along the wall as he wandered towards the kitchen. The big windows in the living room lit up the room with each lightning strike, catching him off guard at the bright flash of light, gone as quickly as it came.

Only on the second flash does he register a dark blob across the room that he doesn’t think belongs there. On the third one, as he’s halfway across the room, he realizes it’s sitting in a bar stool.

Taeil was hunched over, head resting on bent elbows over the countertop, making him look headless in the dark room. Johnny froze, unsure of how to make his presence known without scaring him. He debated turning around and retreating, but despite how much he _really_ didn’t feel ready to face him yet, Taeil wasn’t supposed to be awake at three o’clock in the morning.

Then, a faint sniffle escaped Taeil’s body, and Johnny knew for sure that Taeil didn’t know he was there. He took another step.

“Taeil?” he asked, as quietly as he could. His voice was scratchy, surprising himself with how tired and weak he sounded.

Even so, it was still too loud. Taeil lurched in his seat, head flying up just as another lightning strike filled the room with white light, reflecting off his watery eyes.

Johnny was too stunned to say anything more. Bathed in darkness again, he could just make out Taeil turning around, hiding his face away. He resisted the urge to reach a hand out, knowing it would only make him more uncomfortable. He was vulnerable, and Johnny didn’t want to make him feel trapped.

Instead, like nothing happened, Johnny walked past the stools and further into the kitchen. He didn’t want to turn a light on, so he followed the edge of the counter until he was in front of the cabinet with the glasses. He felt around and took one out carefully, shuffling to the sink to fill it.

Taeil was silent the entire time, only his dim outline there to reassure Johnny that he hadn’t left. When he returned to stand in front of him, a counter of distance between them, he noticed the empty glass sitting in front of him.

Setting his own down, he cleared his throat to show he was going to speak again. “Do you want me to fill it up again?” he whispered.

Closer, he could make out the arch of his cheekbone in the haze of street lights from behind his left shoulder. Taeil’s eye caught a single sparkle as he looked up.

“Yeah,” he breathed, even rougher than Johnny’s voice. He pushed the glass forward for Johnny to pick up, turning to fill it without a second thought.

Johnny set it back in front of him, fingers ghosting over each other when he retracted his hand just as Taeil went to pick it up. He could hear his swallows as Johnny raised his own glass to his lips.

He wanted to ask, ask Taeil anything and everything because Johnny didn’t think he could cope with another unexplained breakdown in front of him. He wanted to know why he was crying, who had caused it and what he could do to help him through it. He wanted to wrap Taeil up in his arms and hold him until he felt whole again, remind him that he didn’t have to face anything alone.

Because he was realizing, with every minute that passed, that he didn’t want Taeil to feel alone. He didn’t want Taeil to ever feel cornered, or hopeless, or abandoned, especially because of him. Ever again, at least.

So, even though Johnny always found physical touch the most comforting, a part of him knew that wasn’t what Taeil needed at that moment. He needed to feel safe, not judged or like he needed to hide something. He needed transparent, unconditional companionship.

Johnny spun the glass around the countertop in lazy circles. “Donghyuck hates storms like this,” he murmured, just before a clap of thunder cut him off. “Always has,” he continued.

Taeil made a little noise that Johnny couldn’t really make sense of, but he didn’t leave. So he continued after a few moments, voice barely louder than the rain, “I don’t know when he started coming to my bed instead of our parents’. Lucky them.”

Another noise, but Johnny thought it sounded a little more like laughter. The sniffling was less, his breaths filling more of his lungs.

The silence that settled between them wasn’t intimidating anymore. Johnny was starting to learn how to be comfortable with it, offering just his presence and not a desperate need to fill the empty space. Maybe that was progress, too.

They listened to the thunder and the rain and sipped from their glasses. Taeil’s clinked as he set it back down again.

“Where were you earlier?” he asked absently. Johnny could tell his mind was elsewhere.

“Asleep,” Johnny admitted. “I had a… crazy morning. Didn’t get much sleep last night either.”

Taeil hummed, running a finger around the rim of the glass.

“Was everything okay?” Johnny continued, wary of how specific to make his questions. Less target made it easier for Taeil to answer if he didn’t want to discuss it yet.

“Yeah, fine,” Taeil said, and he sounded honest. That reassured Johnny, worried that Taeil had spent the entire evening like this, feeling just as alone as he’d felt earlier in the day.

Outside, the rain was starting to calm down, reduced to a gentle patter rather than a downpour. It was the soothing sort, the thunder and lightning passing to leave just a few scattered storm clouds behind.

Johnny was happy to see that, with the storm receding, Taeil seemed to be calmer as well. “You should try to sleep,” he offered.

Taeil took a deep breath, shoulders lifting as he filled his chest, and let it out slowly. There were no sniffles, and he nodded as he picked up his glass to finish the rest of the water.

Johnny took it from him, setting them both in the sink before turning back to see Taeil standing by the edge of the counter. Walking over, Taeil fell into step beside him wordlessly, a shoulder slightly tucked behind his.

Johnny stole a glance at his face, close enough now that he could make out the puffiness in his cheeks and eyes, eerily void of emotion. He didn’t want to leave Taeil alone again but he couldn’t guess what he wanted instead, or if he just preferred to be alone. The only reassurance he could give himself was that Taeil would tell him if he really needed anything. They were close enough for that.

There were no lights to turn off, so Johnny just stopped at his door, letting Taeil slip past him. As he did, Johnny took the chance to remind him, “You know you can always come get me if you need anything. Anytime, I’m here. Okay?”

Taeil paused, head half-turned over his shoulder as he listened. He didn’t say anything, but he nodded, and Johnny thought he saw the faintest trace of a smile on his lips before he turned away.

“Goodnight,” Taeil murmured, twisting his door open.

“Night, Taeil. Sleep good,” Johnny said, even though it was probably too late for that. He waited for Taeil’s door to shut before he went to step through his own.

There, right in front of his face, was a blue piece of paper stuck to the door. He squinted at it, the words too small to make out in the shadows, but he knew what it was. He hadn’t noticed it when he’d come out earlier, but it must’ve been there.

Johnny pulled it off and ducked into his room, holding the handle so it didn’t make a sound when it shut. He quickly rummaged across his messy covers to find his discarded phone, turning the flashlight on the note as soon as he had it in his hands.

_I’ll be gone when you get up in the_  
_morning but I hope you’re okay._  
_There’s food in the fridge if you need it._  
_See you tomorrow._

Johnny read it three times over. He must’ve stuck it there before going to bed, thinking he wouldn’t see Johnny before he left for work in the morning. He _had_ been thinking about him, sitting alone in the living room the whole evening. Wondering if he was okay.

Johnny sighed, leaning back to flop against the bed. Every day, he thought he knew Taeil well enough, and then every day he still managed to surprise him. Sometimes surprise was _good,_ though, because even though Johnny was exhausted and emotionally drained and just wanted to disappear for a few days to cope, a little part of him was able to recognize that he’d just dealt with the thing he’d been dreading most: Facing Taeil. He’d done it, and because there was something to take his mind off everything he knew he’d be overthinking, it was fine.

It wasn’t the best circumstances to meet in, but nothing about them had ever been very smooth sailing. Taeil had different sides to him just as Johnny knew he had too; that was part of being human. The more he knew, and the more Taeil wanted to show him, the more certain Johnny could be of his feelings. Whatever they were.

He knew it wouldn’t be overnight, or even a few days, because there was no rushing when it came to Taeil, but that was okay. Johnny had time.

They had time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with that, we finish section ONE!! i've split this work into three rough, similarly-sized sections, and i'm happily on track with the wc i had originally estimated. things will only get wilder from here, but at least we've got a partial(?) internal confession on johnny's side! is he interested in taeil that way? he's starting to think so!
> 
> i'm going to take a short break from drafting to refresh, and the next chapter should be up in a few weeks or so :D if you've made it this far, thank you! see you in the next one~~


End file.
